Boredom and restlessness are some of the most misunderstood reasons we overeat. We tell ourselves we're bored, but often what's really happening is that we're avoiding something—desire, growth, pride, even happiness.

In this episode, Dara unpacks what boredom is actually protecting you from, why food becomes the default solution, and how to create a simple boredom protocol that doesn't rely on self-control or shame. This one might make you uncomfortable—but that's exactly why you need to hear it.

• The definitions of bored vs. restless (and why the distinction matters)

• The real question: Why do you let yourself believe you're bored?

• What boredom is really protecting you from: happiness, success, feeling proud, confidence, connection

• The core issue underneath boredom eating: WORTHINESS

• The Bored Eating Protocol (5 simple steps)

• Where "bored" sits on the Emotional Wheel (under "bad" → bored → indifferent/apathetic)

• Alternative words for "I'm bored": unsatisfied, unhappy, confused, directionless, uncertain

1. Name it - "Oh, I'm telling myself I'm bored."

2. Question it - "Am I actually bored, or am I avoiding something?" (Go back to the definition: feeling weary because something is uninteresting or repetitive, a lack of stimulation)

3. Identify what you're avoiding - "What would I do right now if I believed I was worthy? If I didn't have to prove myself to anyone?"

4. Take one small action toward that thing - Not the whole project. Just one stitch. One phone call. One sentence.

5. Notice - How does it feel to move toward what you actually want instead of away from it?

Dara shares the memory of walking into her grandma's kitchen at age six during Christmas. There was a mountain of dishes—and her grandma was laughing and having a ball. No paper plates, just joy in the work.

That moment changed Dara's life: "You can take any job, any task, and decide if it's going to be awesome or not. I've never been bored in my life because I made that decision."

But her grandma didn't have the tools to deal with stress. She turned to Coke (calling it her "medicine"), food, and baking. She had a heart attack at 64.

This is why Dara does this work—so women don't have to keep beating themselves up and feeling trapped in their own bodies.

• Happiness - What if you pursued what you really wanted?

• Success - What if you actually finished that quilt and entered the show?

• Feeling proud - What if you achieved something and had to own it?

• Confidence - What if you believed in yourself?

• Connection - What if you put yourself out there?

Three Ways to Work with Dara:

1. Join Love Yourself Thin Membership - The full program with ongoing support and community

2. Emotional Eating Mini-Class - Free Masterclass

3. Free 20-Minute Consult - Book a call to identify what's blocking you (Dara shares that one woman got so much clarity in just 20 minutes from YouTube)

Watch this episode on YouTube!

Episode 241: Emotional Eating When You Don't Even Know Why You Ate - The most mysterious type of emotional eating, where we pull everything together.

Loneliness doesn't always look like being alone. Sometimes it shows up as feeling disconnected, unseen, or like you're carrying everything by yourself. If food has been your go-to in those moments, hear this clearly: It makes sense. Food was there for you. It gave comfort and relief when connection felt out of reach.

In this episode, you'll learn why eating when you feel lonely isn't a lack of self-control—it's a learned regulation tool. And more importantly, you'll discover how to create real connection without turning food into the only solution.

• The Emotional Wheel: How loneliness sits on the spectrum between sadness and feeling abandoned

• Why turning to food when you're lonely makes perfect biological sense (dopamine, vulnerability, and survival)

• The difference between true connection and false connection (and why social media feels like sugar)

• How to create true connection through physical, creative, and spiritual practices

• The 4-step process for building your relationship with yourself:

1. Recognize that 95% of your thoughts are on autoplay

2. Do a thought capture throughout the day

3. Question one belief you've been carrying

4. Curate that belief in your favor

Physical Connection:

• Hugs (even self-hugs—hand on heart, shoulders squeeze)

• Real conversations on the phone or in person

• Physical exercise (walking, dancing, stretching)

• Warmth practices (hot tub, heated car seat, fire, warm blankets)

Creative Connection:

• Sewing, quilting, knitting

• Playing music or singing

• Clay or Play-Doh

• Sand, gardening

Other Forms:

• Listening to music that moves you

• Making food mindfully for yourself or others

• Journaling

• Reaching out to one person (even just a text)

• Religious practice, prayer, meditation

Emotional Eating Mini-Class - The all-year-round version of Dara's hit holiday class, now with office hours where you can get expert coaching on concepts like "Pause Before Pantry." This isn't just another online class you hope to watch—the office hours make all the difference. Join the 3 day masterclass here - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/free-emotional-eating-masterclass

• Website:

  https://daratomasson.com

• Instagram: @dara_tomasson

• YouTube: Ask questions in the comments—Dara loves interacting with you!

• Leave a Podcast Review: It makes such a difference!

If you've ever reached for food when you're stressed and then immediately judged yourself for it, this episode is for you. Stress eating isn't a willpower problem—it's a nervous system response. Your brain is actually doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect you.

In this episode, you'll discover what stress actually does inside your body, why "I'll start fresh Monday" advice completely misses the mark, and the 5-step protocol that will help you close the mental and emotional loops that drain your energy and keep you stuck in overwhelm.

• Why your brain scans for danger 5x more than it looks for safety (and what this has to do with stress eating)

• The role of cortisol in triggering cravings for quick energy—salty, sugary, and fatty foods

• Why modern stress (deadlines, family conflict, financial worry) doesn't go away after you eat

• The "car analogy": You don't need to know how to fix your brain, but you do need to understand how it works

• The 5-step protocol for closing thought loops and creating permanent change:

1. Accept/Acknowledge

2. Ask

3. Action

4. Assess

5. Acclimatize

Emotional Eating Mini-Class - Learn how to handle emotional eating 24/7, 12 months of the year. This revamped class includes office hours where you can get personalized support. Join the free masterclass and learn more - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/free-emotional-eating-masterclass

• Website:

  https://daratomasson.com

• Instagram: @dara_tomasson

• Join Dara live for her next training! -

  https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/upcoming-classes-and-events

• Watch this episode and more on YouTube - https://youtu.be/x23lLj3rKIs

We're ending January with the four words that can change your relationship with food, your body, and yourself forever.

In this episode, you're going to learn:

• Why "This will not stand" and "I will not give up" keep you locked in battle

• The clinic lobby story and why "calm down" never works — on anyone

• The real difference between addressing actions vs. needs

• The moment a therapist flipped the switch with one question

• How acknowledging emotions creates instant empathy and relief

• Why force creates resistance — and how it turns you into your own enemy

• The four most powerful words: "What do I need?"

• How to use this question to meet fundamental needs directly

• Why Connie Rice's work proves you cannot legislate behavior change

• How compassion turns enemies (even inner ones) into allies

Key Takeaway: The next time you're face-to-face with cravings, resistance, or old patterns, don't attack yourself. Instead ask: "What do I need?" Those four words are where permanent weight loss truly begins.

Inside Love Yourself Thin, you'll learn to meet your needs, calm your brain, and build a life you love. This is where your repair, renewal, and long-term freedom begins — no matter your age, your history, or how long you've struggled.

I've done this myself, and I've helped hundreds of women do the same. You deserve that freedom too.

Learn more: https://daratomasson.com

Catch more of Dara's free trainings, sign up here: https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/upcoming-classes-and-events

Watch this episode (and more!) on YouTube - https://youtu.be/2ptWyMgnyq4

Three weeks into January — this is the perfect moment to ask: Why do you want to lose weight? Your answer determines everything.

In this episode, you'll discover:

✔️Why your past "failures" don't diminish your worthiness

✔️The life-changing difference between "needing" to lose weight vs. "wanting" to

✔️Self-esteem vs. self-compassion — and why one abandons you when you fail

✔️How self-esteem traps you in conditional worth

✔️How self-compassion creates solid, stable self-worth that shows up when you need it most

✔️Why compassion is collaboration, not domination or punishment

✔️How new solutions appear when you stop trying to earn your value

✨The truth: you never had to earn the right to care for yourself

Key Takeaway: Your worth was decided long before your weight ever changed. You matter now. And from that place, you're allowed to want more for yourself.

Inside Love Yourself Thin, you'll learn how permanent weight loss comes from caring for yourself — not proving yourself. Learn more: https://daratomasson.com

Get the free Perfectionist Recovery Program Course Here - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/opt-in-perfectionist-recovery-mini-course

Follow Dara on Instagram @dara_tomasson

Mid-January is when most women feel the inner critic ramp up. If you're feeling the pressure, the comparison, the self-judgment — this episode will set you free.

You're about to learn:

• My personal story of losing 50 pounds by becoming my own ally

• Why fighting with yourself guarantees that everyone loses

• Kristin Neff's research on the brutal things we say to ourselves

• The Connie Rice story: 20 years of lawsuits vs. one compassionate question

• Why you cannot legislate behavior change — in yourself or anyone else

• How compassion led to a 70% drop in homicides in Watts

• The critical mindset shift from "What's wrong with me?" to "What do I need?"

• How collaboration with yourself unlocks solutions you couldn't see before

Key Takeaway: Compassion isn't weakness — compassion is power. When you stop being your own enemy, everything gets easier.

Ready to stop the internal war? Inside Love Yourself Thin, you get lifetime access to tools that transform you from critic to collaborator so change finally sticks.

Learn more: https://daratomasson.com

Take my self-assessment quiz to find out what subconscious food thoughts are holding you back from your weight loss goals - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/self-assessment-uncovering-subconscious-food-beliefs

Follow me on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dara_tomasson

Watch this episode (and more!) on my YouTube channel - https://youtu.be/7lbAPfmnWJg

One week into the new year and you've probably been bombarded with diet ads. But here's the truth no one says out loud: The food isn't the problem.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why weight loss is a symptom — not the root problem

• The client story that exposes what's actually driving overeating

• The "gunman story" that explains why unmet needs escalate everything

• The four fundamental human needs your overeating may be trying to meet

• Why diets fail: you accidentally become your own enemy

• The bullseye model: separating actions from needs

• How to skip behavior battles and go straight to the underlying need

• The magical, life-changing question: "What do I need right now?"

Key Takeaway: When your real needs are met — safety, comfort, connection, control — the urge to overeat dissolves.

Watch Stephen Trzeciak's TED Talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elW69hyPUuI

Stop treating symptoms. Start solving the real problem. Inside Love Yourself Thin, you'll learn how your brain, emotions, and body actually work together so permanent transformation feels possible… and peaceful.

Learn more: https://daratomasson.com

Watch this episode, and more, on Dara's YouTube channel - https://youtu.be/7lbAPfmnWJg

Follow Dara on Instagram -

https://www.instagram.com/dara_tomasson

Happy New Year! If you're starting January thinking, "Why does this feel exactly like last year?" — this episode will change how you see yourself forever.

Inside this episode, you'll learn:

• Why you don't have a knowledge problem — you have a thinking problem

• The neuroscience behind follow-through (hint: it's not about willpower)

• How your reptilian brain's threat-defense system quietly sabotages you

• How self-criticism triggers cortisol and shuts down motivation

• How to activate the mammalian caregiving system so change feels easier

• A powerful father/son example that proves compassion fuels real progress

• The pivotal shift from "What should I do?" to "What do I need?"

Watch Kristen Neff's Ted Talk

Key Takeaway: When you meet your needs with compassion instead of criticism, action stops feeling like a battle — and starts feeling natural.

If you're done blaming yourself and ready to finally understand why you struggle with follow-through, come join me in Love Yourself Thin. This is where the "great dilemma" finally ends.

You get lifetime access to the tools that help you understand your brain, meet your needs, and create permanent weight loss without force, shame, or burnout.

Kickstart your weight loss this January with my new course! Details here - Permanent Weight Loss from the Inside Out

Grab my new freebie to help you understand why you can't lose weight - Uncovering Subconscious Food Beliefs

Watch this episode on YOUTUBE

The black girdle hanging in your closet. The jeans you promise yourself you'll wear "this Christmas." The drive to your family's house wearing shapewear so tight you can't breathe, feeling ashamed the entire night because you're not "good enough" to wear those jeans. If this story sounds painfully familiar, this special Christmas episode is my gift to you—because you deserve to stop hiding behind Spanx and start actually enjoying your life.

After struggling with my weight since my early twenties, I finally cracked the code of permanent weight loss in a way I never expected. On my 52nd birthday, I tried on my wedding dress and weighed 12 pounds less than on my wedding day. I also fit into the bridesmaid dress I wore at 16. But here's what nobody tells you: weight loss isn't the goal. Weight gain is a symptom of unaddressed emotional issues. Until you dig into the real patterns—the loneliness that makes you reach for baked goods, the fear of being kicked out of the tribe if you don't eat chocolate with your coffee group, the perfectionism that keeps you paralyzed—no app or diet will ever work long-term.

This week, I'm sharing the most vulnerable stories from my Conquer Emotional Eating class: the retired woman who's "really good all day" but needs that cookie every night (spoiler: it's not about the cookie), the coffee group that bonds over complaining about weight while eating chocolate (what happens if you break the pattern?), and the perfectionist who couldn't start her workbook because she was afraid to use pen instead of pencil. Plus, I'm getting deeply honest about my own Christmas Eve girdle story—the shame, the uncomfortable drive, the shadow of "not good enough" that ruined what should have been joyful family time.

My Christmas gift to you: Stop wasting time on Pinterest boards and apps. Join my January course (starts January 9th) where I teach the same content I'm doing inside my Love Yourself Thin lifetime membership program—how to make goals out of love, not shame in a condensced way. Get all the details HERE.

Or join the lifetime program itself and pay once for life. Your worth has nothing to do with your pants size. Let's prove it together. Join HERE.

Want to see Dara's girdle 😅 Watch this episode on YouTube!

Follow Dara on social media @dara_tomasson

You know exactly what you should eat. You know you need eight hours of sleep. You know you should move your body. Yet here you are at 10 PM with a pint of ice cream, wondering why you can follow through on work deadlines and family responsibilities but can't stick to your own health goals. The disconnect isn't about willpower—it's about how you talk to yourself when things don't go according to plan.

This week, I'm breaking down how to have actual peace during the holidays with your weight loss goals—not the fake "I'll start in January" peace that's really just procrastination wrapped in holiday lights. You'll discover why your approach to failure determines everything about whether you'll succeed, how the same encouragement you'd give a five-year-old learning to tie shoes is exactly what you need to give yourself, and why your battlefield-like inner self-talk is the real reason you sabotage your own goals. I'll share Brené Brown's marble jar concept and how I adapted it for building self-trust with urges, plus my own vulnerable story about catching myself in diet mentality last Friday even after years of doing this work.

Tune in as I walk you through the three pillars of peaceful goal-setting: making goals with possibility instead of fear, understanding the real science of how your brain and body connect, and implementing practical strategies that actually create change. You'll learn why 99% of diets fail (and why beating yourself up guarantees you'll be part of that statistic), discover the power of accountability partnerships inside my program, and understand why all the Pinterest boards and saved recipes in the world won't create permanent change without addressing your unique baggage.

Ready to stop saying "I'll start in January" and actually mean it? My January course starting January 9th teaches you how to make goals without the failure spiral, or join my lifetime membership program for ongoing support and accountability. Details are HERE!

What You'll Learn in this Episode:

• How your experience with failure shapes your ability to make goals

• The five-year-old shoe-tying analogy: when did you stop letting yourself learn?

• Why your inner dialogue sounds like screaming at a child (and how to stop)

• The connection between Christmas anticipation and post-holiday letdown

• How negative self-talk creates procrastination, people-pleasing, and perfectionism

• Brené Brown's marble jar concept adapted for building self-trust with urges

• Why feelings only come from thoughts (even when circumstances feel urgent)

• Peace-building thoughts: "I can do hard things" and "I haven't figured this out yet"

• Dara's vulnerable Friday story: catching diet mentality after years of coaching

• Why 99% of diets fail and how to be in the 1%

• The power of accountability partners and real-time coaching

• Why Pinterest boards and saved recipes won't create permanent change

• How program connections help women through devastating losses

Stay in touch!

• January goal-setting course (starts January 9th) - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/permanent-weight-loss-course

• Love Yourself Thin lifetime membership -

  https://daratomasson.com

• Email us your questions - [email protected]

• Watch this episode (and more!) on YouTube

• Follow me on Instagram - @dara_tomasson