A decades-long research project has learned that the quality of our lives depends on the quality of our relationships. And what a tragedy that so many of us do not have the tools to create deep, intimate, connected relationships. We have a tendency to hide our true selves behind half-truths, behind saying we're 'fine' when we're not, behind being so amenable and accommodating that we never rock the boat. And yet, in seeking to keep things low-maintenance and easy, we are being dishonest with ourselves and with our partner about who we really are, what we really desire and prefer, and we show up instead as a shallow shell of who we really are. Until we truly learn how to be honest with ourselves and with our partners about who we are and what we really want, we will never be able to create the equal partnerships so many of us crave.

Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts:

#83 Self-Honesty on Apple on Spotify

#193 No Back-Burner Issues on Apple on Spotify

#216 One Up and One Down Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#218 Honest Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#220 Being Low Maintenance on Apple on Spotify

#230 People-Pleasing on Apple on Spotify

#240 Passive-Aggressive Behavior on Apple on Spotify

#243 Having More Honest Communication on Apple on Spotify

#255 What is Gaslighting on Apple on Spotify

#269 Fine - The 4-Letter F-Word on Apple on Spotify

#270 People-Pleasing & Kindness - What's the Difference? on Apple on Spotify

#271 Equal Partnerships on Apple on Spotify

#272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify

#287 Equality in Your Relationships and Your Self-Worth on Apple on Spotify

#309 What an Equal Relationship Looks Like on Apple on Spotify

#317 Fawning- What Is It, Why Do We Do It, and How to Stop on Apple on Spotify

#331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify

#332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify

#384 Relational Living on Apple on Spotify

#389 The Partnership of Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#396 How to Have an Easy Relationship on Apple on Spotify

#397 The Relationship Bucket on Apple on Spotify

Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options:

Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion. You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me? Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

How the world views Mother Eve is how the world views women. Doctrine from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that Eve was intelligent and courageous, that she understood that partaking of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil was the only way to put into motion the plan of our Heavenly Parents which allowed each of us to come to earth. So, she is revered and seen as an equal to Adam, unlike how she is often seen in many other spaces throughout the world. From this perspective though, our whole understanding and reverence for Adam and Eve and their equal partnership shifts, and this shift also changes our ideas about what it means to be in a marriage relationship. I'm joined today by Kenn Kuaea, a member of one of the LDS congregations in American Samoa.

Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts:

#218 Honest Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#244 The Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify

#271 Equal Partnerships on Apple on Spotify

#287 Equality in Your Relationships and Your Self-Worth on Apple on Spotify

#298 Friendship in Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#309 What an Equal Relationship Looks Like on Apple on Spotify

#321 Clean Love and Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#334 Sense of Self and Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#375 Sense of Self and the Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify

#389 The Partnership of Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#396 How to Have an Easy Relationship on Apple on Spotify

Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options:

Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion. You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me? Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

How the world views Mother Eve is how the world views women. Doctrine from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that Eve was intelligent and courageous, that she understood that partaking of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil was the only way to put into motion the plan of our Heavenly Parents which allowed each of us to come to earth. So, she is revered and seen as an equal to Adam, unlike how she is often seen in many other spaces throughout the world. From this perspective though, our whole understanding and reverence for Eve shifts and this shift also changes our ideas about what it means to be a woman and the significance of it. I'm joined today by Luisa Kuaea, a member of one of the LDS congregations in American Samoa.

Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts:

#218 Honest Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#244 The Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify

#271 Equal Partnerships on Apple on Spotify

#287 Equality in Your Relationships and Your Self-Worth on Apple on Spotify

#298 Friendship in Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#309 What an Equal Relationship Looks Like on Apple on Spotify

#321 Clean Love and Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#334 Sense of Self and Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#375 Sense of Self and the Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify

#389 The Partnership of Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#396 How to Have an Easy Relationship on Apple on Spotify

Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options:

Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion. You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me? Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

What does it take to create a beautiful and safe relationship? In this episode I am revisiting combining two analogies I've used before, the bucket analogy and the relationship circle, and I'm calling it the Relationship Bucket. How do we fill this bucket up? Who is responsible for filling it? What things will fill it? Is how women fill it different than how men fill it? All of these questions and more are part of our discussion today.

Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts:

#148 Grace & Grudges in Our Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#161 Developing More Intimacy in Your Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#174 Better Boundaries on Apple on Spotify

#201 The Tolerable Life on Apple on Spotify

#215 Being Seen and Being Heard on Apple on Spotify

#216 One Up and One Down Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#218 Honest Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#233 Having Tough Discussions on Apple on Spotify

#238 Overflow on Apple on Spotify

#239 How to Own Your Own on Apple on Spotify

#242 Circling Back Around on Apple on Spotify

#243 Having More Honest Communication on Apple on Spotify

#244 The Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify

#271 Equal Partnerships on Apple on Spotify

#272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify

#277 Your Spouse Is Not Your Responsibility on Apple on Spotif

#289 Why Our Relationships Needs Validation on Apple on Spotify

#290 Resentment and Contempt in Our Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#295 Safety in the Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify

#296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship on Apple on Spotify

#298 Friendship in Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#304 Personalities, Preferences, and Perspectives on Apple on Spotify

#319 Get Ready to Rock The Boat on Apple on Spotify

#326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe on Apple on Spotify

#331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify

#332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify

#333 Sense of Self and Dating on Apple on Spotify

#334 Sense of Self and Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#341 Choosing to Be All In on Apple on Spotify

#359 10 Ways to Be a Safer Spouse on Apple on Spotify

#375 Sense of Self and the Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify

#384 Relational Living on Apple on Spotify

#389 The Partnership of Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#390 You Can't Fill Their Bucket on Apple on Spotify

#396 How to Have an Easy Relationship on Apple on Spotify

Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options:

Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion. You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me? Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Many of us were taught the idea that relationships are hard. But I have a secret for you. Relationships aren't hard. Keeping your ego in check and behaving kindly rather than harshly is the hard part. When two people prioritize each other, choose to engage and invest in the relationship, show up equally and honestly, and offer each other grace and kindness, relationships are easy. If you're looking for tools to learn how to do this, we've got you. Sione joins me in this podcast to talk about the tools we use and how we are creating an incredibly easy relationship.

Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts:

#60 Mental and Emotional Abusive Behaviors on Apple on Spotify

#61 Charity is the Antidote on Apple on Spotify

#70 Self Reflection and Self Coaching on Apple on Spotify

#110 The Cost of Being Right on Apple on Spotify

#118 100% Responsibility on Apple on Spotify

#148 Grace & Grudges in Our Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#156 The Benefits of Being Wrong on Apple on Spotify

#161 Developing More Intimacy in Your Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#193 No Back-Burner Issues on Apple on Spotify

#201 The Tolerable Life on Apple on Spotify

#212 Healing Your Disconnected Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#218 Honest Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#233 Having Tough Discussions on Apple on Spotify

#239 How to Own Your Own on Apple on Spotify

#242 Circling Back Around on Apple on Spotify

#243 Having More Honest Communication on Apple on Spotify

#244 The Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify

#245 Transactional Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#269 Fine - The 4-Letter F-Word on Apple on Spotify

#271 Equal Partnerships on Apple on Spotify

#272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify

#283 How To Be a Better Partner on Apple on Spotify

#287 Equality in Your Relationships and Your Self-Worth on Apple on Spotify

#289 Why Our Relationships Needs Validation on Apple on Spotify

#295 Safety in the Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify

#296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship on Apple on Spotify

#298 Friendship in Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#299 Love Is Not a Reward on Apple on Spotify

#309 What an Equal Relationship Looks Like on Apple on Spotify

#319 Get Ready to Rock The Boat on Apple on Spotify

#326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe on Apple on Spotify

#334 Sense of Self and Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#344 Are You a Safe Place For Vulnerability on Apple on Spotify

#357 How to Be More Understanding on Apple on Spotify

#364 Relationship Neglect on Apple on Spotify

#372 Why Our Relationships Need Validation on Apple on Spotify

#373 Safety in the Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify

#374 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship on Apple on Spotify

#384 Relational Living on Apple on Spotify

#389 The Partnership of Marriage on Apple on Spotify

Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options:

Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion. You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me? Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Whether it's a spouse, our children, our parents, siblings, friends, or coworkers, we don't have a say in whether or not they choose to love us. And whether they love us or not, it says nothing about us and everything about them. It also doesn't say that they are wrong or bad, just that they are a human with their own preferences and wants and desires, and maybe we're just not a good match for them. And that's okay. Learning to make peace with others not loving us is a huge part of growing up into middle-age.

Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts:

#127 Our Worth & Our Works on Apple on Spotify

#230 People-Pleasing on Apple on Spotify

#260 Your Lovability and Your Love Ability on Apple on Spotify

#270 People-Pleasing & Kindness - What's the Difference? on Apple on Spotify

#272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify

#293 Dating in Mid-Life on Apple on Spotify

#304 Personalities, Preferences, and Perspectives on Apple on Spotify

#331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify

#332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify

#333 Sense of Self and Dating on Apple on Spotify

#334 Sense of Self and Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#349 It's Okay If People Don't Like You on Apple on Spotify

Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options:

Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion. You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me? Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

For many of us complaining is just second-nature. It's what we do when we want things to be different or when we want someone to see our struggle. And yet, complaining has a natural byproduct of shutting other people down, especially when the complaint is directed towards them. When we can learn to express our wants and desires in ways other than complaining, we are much more likely to be heard and understood and create connection in our relationships rather than isolation and frustration.

Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts:

#239 How to Own Your Own on Apple on Spotify

#258 Communication That Connects on Apple on Spotify

#286 How Miscommunication Destroys Relationships on Apple on Spotify

#298 Friendship in Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#302 Gottman's Four Horsemen - Destroying Relationships Has Never Been So Easy on Apple on Spotify

#309 What an Equal Relationship Looks Like on Apple on Spotify

#341 Choosing to Be All In on Apple on Spotify

#357 How to Be More Understanding on Apple on Spotify

#384 Relational Living on Apple on Spotify

#389 The Partnership of Marriage on Apple on Spotify

Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options:

Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion. You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me? Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Perfectionism can seem like a worthy thing to work towards, but the truth is, it actually keeps us from creating and becoming our true selves. It holds us back from true connection and intimacy and dulls and cheapens our life experience. In this episode, my good friend, Cathi Sessions, LCSW, and I discuss how perfectionism has impacted our lives and she shares are really amazing dream about her own perfectionist tendencies that has helped her to move into a much healthier space of being a human.

Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts:

#110 The Cost of Being Right on Apple on Spotify

#116 The Peace of Imperfection on Apple on Spotify

#127 Our Worth & Our Works on Apple on Spotify

#143 Stuck in Perfectionism on Apple on Spotify

#156 The Benefits of Being Wrong on Apple on Spotify

#164 How Being in Control is Destroying Your Life on Apple on Spotify

#235 The Beautiful Mess on Apple on Spotify

#275 The Problem With Being Good on Apple on Spotify

#305 When We Don't Feel Good Enough on Apple on Spotify

#326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe on Apple on Spotify

Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options:

Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion. You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me? Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Vulnerability and validation work together in our relationships to create intimacy and connection. When both people in a partnership are willing to step into both, we can create something magical. When one in the partnership is unwilling or unable to engage in either, it definitely creates a problem, but we can learn to have our own backs when we show up vulnerable and validate our own engagement. When both people are unwilling to step into vulnerability or validation, we have what I like to call a paper marriage, married on paper, but without partnership, without connection and intimacy and a higher sense of purpose in the relationship. If you're a person or a couple who really wants to create something extraordinary in your marriage, it's time to up the vulnerability and validation in your relationship.

Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts:

#29 Validation on Apple on Spotify

#268 Drama Response on Apple on Spotify

#284 Why Vulnerability Matters on Apple on Spotify

#289 Why Our Relationships Needs Validation on Apple on Spotify

#331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify

#332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify

#333 Sense of Self and Dating on Apple on Spotify

#334 Sense of Self and Marriage on Apple on Spotify

#342 What Does Vulnerability Look Like? On Apple on Spotify

#344 Are You a Safe Place For Vulnerability on Apple on Spotify

#384 Relational Living on Apple on Spotify

#389 The Partnership of Marriage on Apple on Spotify

Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options:

Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion. You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me? Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Sometimes we get these expectations around the holidays, and we think that this should be such a magical time and that no one should get grumpy or annoyed. We might believe we should feel the joy and peace of Christmas in abundance and all the regular challenges of life should just melt away under the warmth of the Season. But the truth is, whether it's Christmas or not, life still offers us up an abundance of the 50/50 of life, 50% good, 50% challenging. The struggles and challenges of life don't check the calendar before showing up in our lives. So learning to lean into the challenges, expect and anticipate the challenges rather than resisting them, is our best bet to actually feel more calm.

Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts:

#167 I Didn't Sign Up For This on Apple on Spotify

#172 Peace Misunderstood on Apple on Spotify

#175 Happy No-Drama Holidays to You on Apple on Spotify

#181 6 Tips For a Happier Holiday on Apple on Spotify

#219 The Truth About The Struggle on Apple on Spotify

#235 The Beautiful Mess on Apple on Spotify

#268 Drama Response on Apple on Spotify

#272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify

Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options:

Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion. You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching

Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me? Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/