In this episode, we talk about what we've learned from Internal Family Systems (a therapeutic modality created by Dr Richard Schwartz) and the value it's brought in allowing us to bring compassion and curiosity instead of contempt to the parts of us that have damaging or unhelpful behavior. If we can learn to do this for ourselves, we will actually have compassion and curiosity for our spouse instead of leaning towards contempt when we feel hurt by them.

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>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

In this short but sweet episode, Aaron & Jenna talk about the small moment between stimulus and response (as Steven Covey puts it) when you have the ability to choose. This comes into play especially when we feel defensive in conflict with our spouse. Between feeling defensive and our reaction to it, we have the ability to choose to listen without defending ourselves, regardless of what we feel. This takes time and practice but it essential to creating a marriage in which it is safe to share your heart.

Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!

Support the show

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>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

In this episode we interview our friends Angelo & McKenzie who vulnerably share with us the roles they played in their marriage for a number of years in which Angelo was the victim and McKenzie was the Rescuer (synonymous in this episode with "hero"). They share how these roles created some sense of comfort and yet kept them both stuck, Angelo without learning how to be powerful and show up in strength and McKenzie without learning that she had any needs at all.

Though they are both still in the process of growing into the powerful people they were created to be (aren't we all), we get a glimpse into some practical ways to begin to walk out of this dynamic that many of us get stuck in (including Jenna and Aaron). 

Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!

Support the show

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>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

In this episode we talk about how our personality and culture have shaped our normals and how those normals feel like absolute truths. The problem with viewing our normals as absolute truths is that it's a recipe for judgment and disconnection. We take this time to confess our own normals and how we've had a tendency to see the other's actions as value statements.

We talk about how we've learned to navigate addressing those normals and the pain that tends to be behind it.

At the end of the episode, Jenna talks about her upcoming Habit Lab Mastery Course and Aaron talks about his upcoming book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.

Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

We're back for Season 3! In this episode we talk about the small habits we've implemented to feed into our connection with each other. The smallness of our habits pushes directly against the natural all-or-nothing mentality that we've traditionally approached every area of our lives with. 

If you are wanting to grow your connection with your spouse, start small. It can be as simple as 5 minutes of chatting, cuddling, kissing or whatever. So often it feels like unless we can have a 3 hour date night, we can't be connected. The more time together the better, but when we are waiting for the perfect time or the perfect amount of time, we are going to be living in more disconnection than connection. Start small and you will see the power and sustainability of consistency over big sweeping changes. 

Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

We end this season still in the woods on our anniversary backpacking trip. Aaron shares a story about how he realized he wanted Jenna to feel like a failure and why he didn't want that to change. The key to opening the door to healing for them was in each of their willingness to engage Kindness and Curiosity instead of contempt. Jenna shares how she was able to locate her triggers with eating and never being satisfied with her current experience. Her journey into contentment required the same Kindness and Curiosity and led to incredible breakthrough as she declared each day, "I am Enough, They are Enough, He is Enough and Now is Enough."

Thanks for joining us in this second season of Marriage Lab! DM us on Instagram at ZintMarriageLab or JennaZint if you are local to Redding and would like to join us on June 3, 2022 at our house for our season 2 finale party. 

Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

We're coming to you from up in the woods in this episode! We went backpacking for our anniversary and brought our podcasting equipment with us. It was worth the few extra pounds. We dive into our own journeys with engaging our inner scientist instead of the judge. The job of the judge is to pass judgment. You are either good or bad, right or wrong, guilty or not. The job of the scientist is to get curious, "Interesting, I wonder what's happening or what happened?" Real change cannot happen with shame and self-contempt (which comes from your inner judge). It is a short-lived motivator. Real change happens when we get curious about what led to a specific behavior or event. Why is this true? Because curiosity engages our brain in such a way that we are willing to see things we've never seen before. Judgment (shame and self-contempt) cannot accomplish this. Romans 2:4 says that it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance, i.e. real and lasting change. If we are to be like him then we must engage ourselves with kindness as well. Curiosity invites kindness and vice versa. We want curiosity over contempt. 

Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

In this episode we talk with Dave and Jules Hill. They are the creators of HeartSmart (https://www.heartsmart.family/ and https://www.heartsmartv.com/browse) a curriculum for social and emotional learning used in over 500 schools around the world. We felt incredibly grateful for their vulnerability in sharing what Jules calls her unwinding that started about a decade ago. It was a painful season of her recognizing unprocessed pain and trauma and the ups and downs that go along with that. Dave shared how he was able to walk alongside Jules and discover how much growth was available for him in that season as well. 

Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

Michael and Lisa Kunz of KunzCoaching.com and TheDatingDiscovery.com join us this week. They talk about their marriage which is fairly young compared the 20+ year marriages they each had before their spouses died. They talk through their stories which had incredible parallels as they walked through grieving and trusting God after such a devastating experience. Their intentionality in pursuing an intimate connection with each other is inspiring and full of practical ideas on how to do it in our own lives. Their awkward sex story is more of an entirely awkward honeymoon where they both thought their previous 20 years of experience would translate easily into this new one. It was a beautiful look into the reality of learning a person more than "learning sex." 

Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

In this episode, Jenna shares how her own journey towards health has paralleled Aaron's journey out of porn addiction. She vulnerably shares how her relationship to sugar was more than just a "sweet tooth" but a solution to the real problems that started in adolescence and continued into adulthood. She speaks to using sugar as a tool for comfort, reward and boredom and the core emotions lie behind them. Together they speak to the incredible power of kindness in experiencing sustainable life-change and what real freedom looks like.

Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn