Tony Overbay is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Certified Mindful Habit Coach, author, motivational speaker and the host of the award-winning podcast, The Virtual Couch. Tony is a convert to the church and has served as a Young Men president twice, taught early morning seminary for seven years, and started a Pornography Addiction Support Group in his stake. Beckie Hennessy is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, has been a therapist since 2007, and currently owns BRICKS Family Counseling, Inc. She has a podcast called The Path of Imperfection (changing soon to The Path of Connection) and has written a book, Ministering Through Connection. She currently serves as a Stake Young Women president.

Highlights

9:45 Anxiety in the times of Covid-19, and how anxiety can be confused with personal revelation

12:55 The unknown leads our minds to cognitive bias and confirmation bias, which then results in polarization

15:35 Anxiety that comes from what our minds think we are missing

16:25 Everyone is experiencing anxiety and worry because that’s what our brains do

18:30 Defaulting to agency and letting people choose how they will act

21:00 Framing the discussion by asking open-ended questions instead of shutting down people with assumptions

22:05 Empathy, being heard, and agreeing/being on the same team

26:45 The sacrament experience with church at home and how this can change how we approach the sacrament when returning to church at church: resetting our experience

34:20 Resetting the church culture

36:25 What about cleaning in the nursery?

37:35 Values pizza and how it could be applied to holding sacrament meetings

42:25 Defaulting to the socially compliant pizzas, and corrupting the culture with rules

43:50 Psychological reactants: instant negative reaction to being told what to do

46:20 TFTs: Terrible First Times and restructuring according to our values

49:25 Everyone is doing the best they can

51:30 Paying attention to the Spirit more than paying attention to what is happening around you, and identifying a focal point for the meeting

55:00 Handling feedback with empathy then counseling with others before making a decision

59:40 Story of using empathy with the ward member who wanted the air conditioning off

1:02:20 Spiritual trump cards from a leader’s standpoint

1:06:45 The Holy Ghost card/personal revelation and anxiety coming from an individual’s standpoint

1:12:00 Beckie’s experience with anxiety and returning to church: the need to be heard

1:17:30 Truth, Beauty, and Goodness: finding these values in the ward experience amidst change

1:29:30 The Measuring Stick and creating shame glitter: dangers of using behavior to determine truth of doctrine, to measure how well we are doing as leaders, or to measure someone’s righteousness

1:34:45 Shame has no part in unconditional love and the Atonement

Links

Beckie on Instagram: beckie.hennessy.lcsw

The Path of Imperfection/The Path of Connection podcast

BeckieHennessy.com

The Virtual Couch Podcast

TonyOverbay.com

Tony on Instagram: