Midlife Fitness & Mindset for Women Feeling Stuck | Pursue Your Spark

Welcome to another episode of the Pursue Your Spark podcast. Today, I would like to talk about how to get more sleep and energy, and why sleep is so important. Sleep is the number one contributor to having energy, but it’s not the only factor to feeling well rested throughout the day.

You know, I’ve always been a good sleeper, even when I was little. My parents would joke that you could stick me anywhere and I’d sleep. Literally, we would go for a car ride, and once I sat in the back, I’d lie down and fall asleep. We'd go to grandma's house; I’d snuggle in a chair and go to sleep, no problem. To this day, I can go to sleep quickly .

But what has really affected my sleep is menopause. I can totally relate to waking up at 2 AM and not being able to fall back asleep. Sometimes my body just says, "Done. Let's get up and move." That makes for a terrible morning and a tough day to go through. So, I can totally relate to that not sleeping business.

So how do you know if you’re not getting enough sleep?

I am sharing the five telltale signs of not getting enough sleep

Followed by 12 strategies on how to combat all of these symptoms of under-sleeping so you can start feeling better now.

Finally four evening ritual you can start today

• Turn off electronics
• Take a hot shower
• Plan on downtime
• Turn out the lights. Darkness cues your body to release the natural sleep hormone melatonin, while light suppresses it.

I hope that my strategies are helpful to you and now you have a great plan here that you can implement right away. Pick the one that resonates the most with you and get started.

That's it for now. Until next time, where I want to talk about something that I struggle with, and that's trying to be perfect.

Listen to more cool podcasts here

Did get my FREE guide yet? If not here is the link to the '3 Bandits that steal your energy'

Love your day,

Heike

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Episode #11 I am talking about the three strategies that help you nail your nutrition goals.

You may have heard these statements before:

• eat when you're hungry
• listen to your body
• do what works for you
• be mindful

All this advice sounds great, but what does it mean when it comes to diet and nutrition?

When you're talking about diet and nutrition, you hear about all this “good” advice that sounds super simple and doable.

After all the diets you signed up for that you didn’t finish, or didn’t like, or didn’t produce results, this approach sounds so much better. That's why, in today’s episode, I want to talk about the three strategies that help you nail your nutrition goals.

After years of trying different diets and nutrition programs that did not produce lasting results, who knows what works well?

You got confused with the high carb diet. Your mind and body go haywire with the extra sugar, so then you switch to a high-fat diet, and that confuses your body even more.

You measure out your food, counting ounces and grams, but how much of each should you actually have?

All of the information is confusing, and you can’t keep any of it straight. I have to tell you, we're more confused than ever when it comes to diet and nutrition and the fitness industry does not seem to help clarify any of it.

Every day there's a new diet, a new approach, a new expert telling you what is “good” and “bad.” You're thinking, "Well, if I can't believe an expert who can I believe?" What does it mean when it comes to eating? You may feel embarrassed because you tried all of these programs that didn’t seem to work (if you even finished them in the first place).

3 reason why you may fail:

• you're not specific about your goals,
• you don't follow through consistently over an extended period,
• and you don't track or assess the outcome of your goals.

It is imperative to using assessment tools, worksheets or journals to get an objective way to evaluate eating patterns and habits. There is no guesswork; there is no hoping that hopefully, it will work this time, you can see clearly on paper or on a computer what works and what doesn't.

Let's dive into my three strategies that help you to nail your nutrition goals.

Strategy #1

Eat Slowly.

Pay attention to your meal and eat and try to savor it. You should take 20 minutes to eat a meal mindfully. How many times have you caught yourself watching TV, doing work on the computer, or reading your smartphone while eating?

I'm definitely guilty of that so let's start with strategy number one, eat slower.

Strategy #2

Eat until you're 80% full.

I'm sure that's what you're thinking. "What does that mean, 80% full?" Well, you need to know that overeating manifests itself much earlier before the actual overeating part. Overeating can be triggered by many things, like stress, eating alone, the time of the day you eat, and the smell of certain foods that trigger memories.

Strategy #3

Scan your body

It takes five minutes each day (whether it's in the morning, in the car, etc.) to check how you feel.

Are you merely tired and you want a treat?

Are you stressed from work, so you feel you deserve that pint of ice cream?

After the first 4 weeks are over, I want you to look at the patterns that have developed.

What are your stressors?

Are you overeating because of stress at work or are you shoveling food down because you don’t have time to sit and eat?

Here are my 3 strategies that help you nail your nutrition goals. They are simple and easy to do.

If you want to take it one step further, you may want to check out my 7 Days to Ignite Your Spark Planner. There are even more ideas and helpful tips that set you up for success in your diet and nutrition goals.

See you next time,

Heike

Join The Art Of Igniting Your Spark CLICK HERE

To share your thoughts: - Leave a note in the comment section - Ask a question over at heikeyates.com

To help out the show: - Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and review are so appreciated, and I read each one.

- Subscribe to iTunes or get the mobile app to get the latest updates  Not sure how to leave a review on iTunes?

It is about the third week of January, and I wanted to check in with you and see how the new year’s diet is working for you so far.  

This year the changes will last, and this year you will reach your goals.

The friend that told you about the new diet that she heard someone else doing that worked, "Just look at the picture," she says, "doesn't she have a rocking hot body?"

So you're scratching your head, and you think, "Okay, that sounds about right. I want to do this, and I'm going to be completely committed."

You went online, and you found out that all you had to do to start your new diet program is buy the book that goes with the program. You get bands and weights for your at-home training program so that you can do it all at the convenience of your home.

Then you look at the exercises, and they seem quite complicated and hard. You’re not sure how to do them, but they go with the program. Then you go to the grocery store with your new grocery list in hand. You would never buy any of those foods or ingredients because you don’t cook like this typically. But you think, “Okay, I can do this. Let’s see how this all tastes.”

But back in your mind, you're thinking, "Dang, that's a lot of money. I'm already blowing my budget, but this year I can justify the expenses and hassle because this year I am going to nail this program.

This year I’m going to look slim and sexy.

This year I will fit into that dress.

This year things will be different."

Maybe that's why I started to work in the fitness industry. I wanted to dispel the myth that women can’t be fit and fabulous at any age and any size.

We don't have to look like a cookie cutter Barbie, all the same size, all the same hair and so forth.

We most importantly don't have to stop our lives and turn everything upside down to see results.

So how do you achieve your goal? It's a lifelong commitment to yourself and your health.

The steps are easy, but the hard part is staying committed (at least most of the time).

All you have to do is do a little bit better than what you are already doing. You say, "But Heike, will I see results?"

Well, you're not going to lose 20 pounds in eight weeks and be fitting into that tiny dress next month. But you will establish lifelong healthy habits, and that is where you will see consistent results.

Do you want to know my three steps to healthy habits to help you go gangbusters with your new nutrition plan?

#1 Start cooking I’m not talking about something super complicated. You may roll your eyes and think,” Oh my gosh, here she goes. She wants us to cook these weird meals with 100 different ingredients.”

No, no, no. I want you to make it as easy as you want it to be. If you can cut up vegetables (or buy pre-cut veggies), then you can make a stir-fry or a salad.

If you have a blender, you can make my super shake (I’m a big fan of these shakes, they take 2 minutes and the shakes taste great. If you want the recipe for my favorite one, be sure to check my show notes).

#2 Move more I’m not talking a class or a video. I want you to get out of your chair and move more. You can walk around your neighborhood, dance around your kitchen, or bike into work instead of driving.

#3 Ask for help Many women feel that they can’t ask for help, that we should “get it together” on our own, or follow an expert making crazy claims about health and wellness.

Instead, turn to someone in your community that you know and trust. I have a Facebook group, The Art of Igniting Your Spark, that can give you a community of women who are just like you, on their fitness and nutrition journey. If you’re interested, I will post the link in the show notes.

Remember to ask your family for help. It has been proven that if your family supports your habits, you are more likely to succeed. I go running with my husband because we get to spend time with each other and do something that supports our healthy lifestyle.

It can be that simple, but consistency is the key. All of these little steps add up to help you feel more energized, stronger and lead to significant health gains in the long run. Just do a little bit more each day. Remember, you can always make things more difficult, but consistency is critical.

If you’re feeling like you don’t even have the energy to begin making changes, then check out my free training on how to stop the three bandits that are stealing your energy.

This might be an excellent way for you to learn how to gain energy and take back your focus. Head over to HeikeYates.com or check out the show notes for more information.

Are you feeling ready to have a gangbuster year with your new healthy habits? I sure am.

Thank you for listening! Until next time, Heike

Link to my Super Shake CLICK HERE

Stop the 3 Bandits That Steal Your Energy CLICK HERE

Join The Art Of Igniting Your Spark CLICK HERE

To share your thoughts: - Leave a note in the comment section - Ask a question over at heikeyates.com

To help out the show: - Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and review are so appreciated, and I read each one.

- Subscribe to iTunes or get the mobile app to get the latest updates  Not sure how to leave a review on iTunes?

Desktop version of iTunes: 1. Open iTunes on your computer 2. In the podcast store, search "Pursue Your Spark" 3. Click on the "Pursue Your Spark" podcast graphic 4. Click ratings and reviews 5. Click write a review 6. Give your review a title. Click a rating. Leave your review. 7. Click Submit

App version of iTunes podcast: 1. Open the podcast app 2. Select the search tab (far right) 3. Type "Pursue Your Spark" and click search 4. Tap on the "Pursue Your Spark" graphic 5. Tap the review tab 6. Tap write a review at the bottom 7. Enter your iTunes password to login 8. Tap the stars to leave a rating 9. Give your review a title. Leave your review 10. Hit send.

I hope that helps. Heike

As every business owner would, I take inventory by the end of the year. Trying to figure out what worked, what didn't and what I need to change to make my business run smoother and make it more profitable.

As a Fitnespreneur, I need a plan of action, not a "New Years Resolution." A solid blueprint that will help me guide my efforts during the year without feeling overwhelmed.

Here is an overview of this episode, and I hope you will be as excited as I am with what's to come in 2018.

Taking the leap from studio owner to Fitnesspreneur and running that part of my business online proved to be a much more significant challenge then I thought.

Why did I start my online business?

In my studio, I could only serve one person at a time and was not able to reach as many women as I can through online training.

How did I start my online business?

I thought that if I just do what I had done for thirty years in my studio, it will work the same. Not seeing the person right in front of me every week created a more significant challenge then I thought.

My major obstacles:

- I did not know who to put my passion into words. I thought I had to sound like someone else to be successful. I was so insecure!

- How do you get your programs and ideas online? It seemed so simple but who knew about click funnel and automation. I sure had no clue.

- My days training clients was packed, and I had no more hours other than late nights and weekends to produce content for my website.

- Writing is not my strength. English as my second language was much harder to write content, even though I am perfectly fluent in both languages.

This was not working!

After thirty years in the fitness industry, I could train clients, design training and nutrition programs, explain procedures, and I knew exactly what my client needed when they walked in the door.

Not so much, when it came to putting my brand online. I was stuck and frustrated.

Time to take action and get help!

My mentor Vito LaFata - Fitness Profit Systems resonated with his teachings, and I knew he was the guy I wanted to study with.

I joined the OBB (Online Business Builder) and one year later The Visionary Planner group. For the past two years, I studied under his guidance and inspiration plus the camaraderie of the students in each course made a world of difference how I shaped my brand.

My I am so very thankful for all that Vito has taught me, helped me discover and sparked my creativity. This experience was priceless, and I would not change it for the world.

It was not easy; I kid you not!

I build my first brand the Menopause Game Plan, only to find out that it was not the right fit for me and my message.

As I tried to salvage materials, I created and re-branded to Clear the Clutter. Now this made total sense to me as organized German that I am. Only to find out it was not a good fit again.

Talk about a learning curve, frustration, tears and I have to admit many glasses of wine later I found my spark! Let's not forget that all the materials created, website, funnels, videos, programs, and challenges all had to be re-designed. I was drowning in work!

Once Pursue Your Spark was born, it was the perfect fit. I felt right, and this brand set me on fire.

What did my life look like?

- Countless hours working deep into the night and weekends

- No work-life balance. My husband will confirm, that he as my partner in crime dedicated so much of his time to help me with many of the technical aspects that I just did not understand.

BUT I was determined and would find a way to share my passion and message with other women in the world.

What did I do this year?

- Launched an entirely NEW Pursue Your Spark brand

- Started my first podcast

- Launched my first webinar

- I took one day off from training clients and dedicated that day exclusively to my brand

- I hired my daughter to work as my editor

I also ran a marathon in Antarctica and married my son.

Talk about a busy year. Feeling overwhelmed is an understatement.

My biggest fear! What would people think of me online! I have to thank Amy Porterfield and her inspiring podcasts to help me overcome my fears. Thank you, Amy.

In conclusion, I found what suits my personality and strength. I can finally speak my brand's language, and I can't wait to share what I have in store for you next year.

Until then, thank you for listing, and I am so grateful you are here, and I can't wait to share my new valuable content with you. 

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"Microblading is perfect for those who want to fully reconstruct, define, cover gaps or fill-in over plucked brows."

That's where I come in, and after many years of plugging my browns, they were almost non-existent. But then I heard of microblading, and everything changed. 

Get the quick low down on how it works and what it is.

What is microblading? A special microblading pen is used to draw individual strokes to create a natural brow look.

Microblading vs. permanent make up (or tattoo)

- Microblading only goes to the second layer of the skin and is semi-permanent.

- Permanent makeup changes color over time and lasts a lifetime.

- Microblading needs refreshing after about a year.

What happens during a microblade session?

The shape of the brow is complementing the bone structure, the shape is drawn onto the face and later filled in with tiny strokes.

How long does the procedure last?

The first visit is 3-hours and final touch up after 30 days of the initial treatment about 2-hours.

Does it hurt? Not that much but they offer numbing cream.

What to expect when it heals? You get specific instructions but most important is no sweating on the brows for 10 days.

How long does the result last? Between 1 - 3 years.

Where do you find a good microblader? I saw Ida on Instagram.

What does it cost: Between $500 - $900.00

I would hands down recommend microblading and could not be happier with the result.

Check out my youtube channel and see the results

Follow me on Instagram

Go to my website for inspiration and education

How to find Ida Slaughter: The Baltimore Tatoo Museum

or Maryland Microblading

Today I want to talk about how to survive the holiday frenzy without going bonkers. The holidays are just around the corner, and it's time to party it up, and most of us go bonkers.

It's time to clean the house, fill up the fridge and the pantry with all the food that you know everyone loves. It starts with the pies, the cakes, the cheeses, the cream, including everything you deny yourself all year long. And the holidays seem to be just the perfect time just to cram it all in and stuff it all down without guilt because after all, it's the holidays.

It usually starts with Halloween. If you're a parent, you know exactly what I'm talking about. One year, my children brought home five pounds, not kidding you, FIVE POUNDS of Halloween candy.

So, what did we do with all that candy? Of course, they got their share, but as a parent, we most likely steal the candy we love and eat it all. There's already that candy, sugar, fat, chocolatey, oh-so-yummy’s starting. We're thinking, "All right. It's Halloween, and I will get out my holiday combat gear for that." What is your holiday combat gear, you wonder? Oh, easy peasy. Stretchy pants, oversized T-shirts or pullovers. They cover any weight gain and includes anything that you might feel guilty about.

November is the Thanksgiving eating marathon. Oh boy. Butter is everywhere, the eggnog is flowing (even the low-fat version) and football is on every TV in the U.S. The couches finally get the usage they deserve, and people just plop down, and sit, and eat.

I’m from Germany, and we don’t have any Thanksgiving there, so coming to the States, this whole turkey business was utterly surprising. Nowhere in Germany do you get together on a specific day to eat some turkey or pumpkin pies.

For years we made terrific feasts with all the bells and whistles. So, you're slugging it out with your eating marathon in November, and Thanksgiving is the blastoff for your eating marathon.

But wait. Then there's December. December has an avalanche of Christmas parties, office parties, family get-togethers, and shopping has become an event in itself of shopping, wrapping presents and then sending them off. As you know, stress is at an all-time high, because there is so much to do before we can enjoy the holidays.

And these times of the year, when it's freezing and gross outside and raining or snowing, seem like the best time to sit around, drink, and eat more food. If you're worried about eating and drinking too much, you think you don’t have to worry. You know why? Because you already see the cleanses, the fitness challenges or the 21-day fixes. These are supposed to make you feel secure in overeating and under-exercising. The next diet is already on the horizon to save you from who? Yourself, and perhaps to jumpstart you yet again.

In my opinion, they prey on the weakness of self-discipline that we have during the holidays. We all have it. I'm looking forward to a stuffed yummy turkey and pumpkin pie, with a big slap of whipped cream on top, and a whole bunch of glasses of wine. But we lack self-discipline because that's the only time of the year we eat these kinds of foods, and why not? There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing that within reason. These programs are there to theoretically help us because we eat ourselves helpless. Have you eaten yourself helpless? No, you didn't, because you already know what to do. It's every year you see the articles pop up. You read it everywhere.

They say the same things over and over again. Only eat one plateful. Eat before the party. Don't wait till you get there because you will be hungry. Stick only to the healthy foods. Do not eat anything with mayonnaise or cream on it. Take one piece of pie or candy from the Smorgasbord. Walk after the meal. It's the same recommendations every year, and we know them by heart. This is not what I want to talk about. I don't have to tell you these same old mantras. All you do is you feel guilty, and I don't want you to feel guilty.

I want you to take care of yourself and the people you love. So, here are my seven steps on how to survive the holiday frenzy without going bonkers.

#1 Book a massage.

If you have a little cash lying around, book a massage. You can't do anything better for yourself for an hour, being taken care of, and just relaxing and lying somewhere in a comfortable room.

#2 Go to the spa

Who says you can't? It's only you. Get pampered. Get a pedicure. Do some aromatherapy or whatever makes you happen.

#3 Take a bubble bath

If you don’t have the extra cash to go the spa, then how about taking a bubble bath? Buy one of those yummy delicious bubble baths, spend an hour in there and relax. No stress, no running around.

#4 Stop pleasing everyone around you

You don't have to break your neck to make everybody else happy, to cook the perfect dinner, to set the perfect table, to buy the perfect gift, to run around for everybody else. Stop pleasing everybody because they don't want you to be frazzled and running around.

Yes, they eat your fantastic cooked food, and yes, they would thank you for the fantastic gifts, but I'm sure that they are much happier spending time with you when you're relaxed with a glass of wine or beer in your hand chatting with them.

#5 Make your gifts

How about making the presents instead of buying them? I'm thinking of a very particular person right now. It has nothing to do with the holidays, but my son just got married, and his wife is incredibly crafty. She made terrific things for her wedding that she gave out to her guests. I loved it!

She made a clothes hanger that said “Mother of the Groom” on it with the dates, and on the back, it says “With love, from Megan.” It really touched me, and I just love it. When I look at the hanger, it makes me feel so special. How about making a few of your gifts instead of buying them? They’re so much more meaningful.

#6 Shop online

Or if you do want to buy new presents for someone, consider shopping online instead of heading to the mall. You can always return the items, and you get to stay in your peaceful home without having to deal with traffic and the hordes of people.

#7 Activities instead of objects

Give and do activities as a present. What I mean by that is give a gift certificate for an activity, such as a skydiving lesson. Another example is from this past year where instead of preparing this big meal for my family for Thanksgiving, we planned a family trip to New Orleans. We got an Airbnb, got the family together, and explored a new city. We went to Bourbon Street, my kids took a glassblowing class, and ate excellent meals that we didn’t have to prepare. It was the perfect time to spend time together and not run around.

These are my seven tips on how to survive the holiday frenzy without going bonkers. Remember that it's more important to spend time with the people you love than go shopping. You're not a loser because you blew your healthy diet. You're not stingy because you don't want to buy elaborate or expensive gifts, but you're staying sane and will have a fantastic holiday season.

You know, I want to let you in on a little secret. You don't have to go yet on another diet or fitness plan in the new year or make another New Year's resolution only not to keep it.

Why? Because all you do is go back to your right habits that you established throughout the year. There's nothing that changed in November or December. All that changed was that you ate a little differently. You may have exercised a little less, and maybe you traveled a little more. Work diligently on those habits you’ve already established. You don't have to reinvent the wheel. You don't have to join some crazy diet or challenge or cleanse to see results quickly. Go back to what you did. It's going to take a little bit longer to reach your results, but your habits are what brings you back to your healthy you.

   So, with that in mind, I want to wish you happy holidays, and I hope to see you next time here at the Pursue Your Spark podcast. Ciao until then.

For more inspiration and education go to my website: Heike Yates

Today’s episode is about how to steal back your energy by looking amazing. Many times in my podcast, I talk about food, and exercise, and how they relate to energy, but looking and feeling spunky and sexy is equally as important. When you look at yourself, and you think, "Girl, you're just looking awesome," that gives me a lot of energy.

Today I want to share with you my five kickstarter tips to feel amazing and gain back energy by looking amazing.

Let me explain where this started. I have been a studio owner and working in the fitness industry for a long time, close to 30 years now. When you picture us as personal trainers or fitness entrepreneurs, you see us walking around in those super comfortable yoga clothes with a t-shirt over it, and then a super comfortable jacket. Working in a pilates and yoga studio, I often walk around barefoot as well.

I love wearing this attire when I work with clients because I can move quickly and be comfortable all day, but when you need to go out for a quick bite or to the grocery store, you always look like a “fitness person.” There’s nothing wrong with that because these kinds of clothes have become streetwear, and athleisure is now “on trend.”

You see it everywhere, and many companies are selling these clothes to be worn from the yoga studio to the coffee shop. They can look super cute and make you feel good, but you know what? After 30 years living in those clothes, as comfortable as they are, I wanted a change. I tried to mix it up because I wanted to feel as cute as my clients and friends looked in their cute blouses and dresses.

As I talked about in my last podcast, my nest is empty, and I have a bit of extra money. I want to spend this money on changing my current look.

Recently I started letting my hair go gray. However, I still use some color and get it cut regularly. I like my partially gray hair, and it doesn’t look old or outdated.

The next part was the clothes. There are a couple of problems with this. I don’t shop well. What does that mean? Number one, I hate to go to the mall and go shopping. Number two, I hate trying on clothes. The whole business of putting clothes on, taking them off, then another round of clothes. You start sweating; things don’t fit correctly, then you can’t find anybody to help you find a different size. I just hate it.

Another thing I don’t like is spending a lot of money on clothes. I have to admit that for years, I’ve shopped at Target. There’s nothing wrong with Target if that’s where your budget is at the moment, but, for me, I can spend more yet have continually opted for ill-fitting summer dresses and blouses.

My next problem is that I don’t know what looks good on me. I looked back over the years and at how I dressed. At some point, I dressed like my daughter, and I looked way too young for me. Then I would dress the opposite way and look old and dowdy.

Finally, my last problem is that I never felt like I found clothes that fit my age, but also fit how old I feel. I’m 56; I feel young, I feel spunky, I exercise regularly. I love my body, but I just do not know how to dress it. I always go for the same striped shirt and jeans look, and then I pick between 2 dresses when I “dress up.” If you’ve seen me on facebook, then you’ve probably seen my favorite outfits more than a few times.

It has gotten to such a point that even my daughter commented that I need to buy different shirts. At that point, I hadn’t thought about the type of clothes that I’m drawn to. I love my striped shirts; they’re comfortable. I felt I needed that comfort. I don’t need something that ties me in at the waist so I can’t breathe or lift my arms.

These are my problems I’ve had while overhauling my look, but I also have learned some tricks to help me overcome these insecurities. Here are my five kickstarted tips to feel amazing and gain energy because you like the way you look.

#1 - Clean out your closet.

When you look at your closet, you may have everything nicely organized, or everything shoved in haphazardly. Everybody’s different, so I want you to look in your closet and pull out one stack. Look for the clothes that are worn out, frayed, have a stain, or are just not flattering anymore

Remove all of the clothes, shoes, purses, belts, that fit into this category. I am not saying throw everything away, but use a critical eye while going through your clothes. When I did this, I found that one of my favorite shirts had a big, ugly stain in the center. Of course, nobody tells you that there’s a stain on your shirt, or that it’s starting to fray on the ends.

This process can take as long as you need. I know that throwing away possessions can sometimes cause anxiety, so we want to do this nice and easy and have the process be a fun one.

#2 - Reassess the pieces that are in excellent condition

Look at the cloth that you have not worn that you think are still in good condition. You can take these pieces to a consignment store and sell them, or see if you can have them altered to fit so that you will wear them.

If you’re having the item altered, check to see if the price is appropriate, or if it’s more cost effective to sell or donate the item. For example, I recently re-discovered my wedding dress. You typically wear your wedding dress once and then never again. I came across the idea on Pinterest where a woman altered her wedding dress for a Halloween party. This may not be for everybody, but it could certainly be a fun way to reuse a dress that is usually single use.

#3 - Use Pinterest for ideas

An excellent source of clothing inspiration for me has been Pinterest. If you don’t know what Pinterest is, it’s a virtual picture board where you can add photos about literally everything - hairstyles, outfits, recipes. One of my boards is “Women Over Fifty.” On this board, I save all the pictures of outfits that I come across that I would potentially wear. When I am going shopping, I will first go through my Pinterest board to focus on precisely what I want, like a cute jacket. I then compare shop based on of what I have already Pinned.

#4 - Online shopping

Online shopping has been a saving grace for me. I don’t have to go to the store, and I can still get cute clothes. I’ve also used an online service that selects clothes for you every month, and then sends them to your door.

So how does that work? Well, I went with a service through Nordstrom that matched me with a clothing consultant. I will go to her and say, “Hey, I want a dress for spring.” She will then discuss with you online about what exactly you are looking for - style, colors, fabrics. Then you get a board of options, and you can say precisely what you do and do not like. In my most recent box, I got 15 pieces - it was everything from pullovers to jeans to boots. Some things were not my style, but three of those pieces I really liked and ended up keeping. Three may not sound like a lot, but when I usually go shopping, it’s hard for me to even come home with one piece.

Having someone else picking your clothes can be a matter of trial and error. However, once you have someone who really understands your style, then these tools can be a great alternative to shopping. It started me off in a different direction, and now I am looking at things that I would never think to buy because I thought they were “too edgy” or “too different” from the style that I currently had.

#5 - Go shopping with a friend.

Shop with a friend whose style you like, but also someone who can help you push your boundaries of what you wear without dressing you up as her. Then you can have a fabulous girls afternoon, whether shopping in person or online and maybe even get some new clothes out of it.

Now when I look in the mirror, I like the way I look. I feel spunky, and I feel sexy. I have even now been branching out without my consultant and trying new styles on my own. Sometimes I will still consult my husband or daughter about a specific piece that I am not 100% sold on, but they’re just reassuring what I have already developed

I am so excited about my new wardrobe, so I hope that you've found some inspiration in my kickstarter tips, and don't shy away from trying something new.

Next time, I want to talk to you about how to survive the holiday frenzy without going bonkers. Until then, I'll talk to you next time. Ciao.

For inspiration and education head on over to my website!

Head on over to my Pinterest board and see what I like.

If you're a parent, you know or have heard about empty nest syndrome. So, all parents, listen up. Why do we feel so lonely after the kids leave?

When we raise our kids, and then they leave, the house is empty; you feel lonely. There's nobody there other than (potentially) a significant other, and we feel like we're not involved in our kids lives anymore. I'm sure you can relate to that. There's emptiness, nobody talks back, and nobody asks us to do stuff for them.

When my son Jesse left for college, I still had my "little one," my daughter Melanie at home. The house didn't feel as empty because I still had someone to care take of

Here's the funny part about his leaving. I dropped my son off at college, and I assumed he was living his college life, but little did I know that he too must have felt some separation or his empty nest syndrome. Because lo and behold, Jesse would come back every week. Jesse had excuses that, “Oh, I need to wash my laundry.” The next time he needed something from the house, so every weekend he would show up at home. I asked him whether or not he needed change to wash his laundry in Baltimore and he said, "Oh, mom, it's much cheaper if I wash it here with you."

Years later I asked, "Listen, why'd you keep coming back?" He said, "Mom, honestly, I was so much happier being accepted at a college close to home, because I wanted to be home. I was not ready to embrace going away to college." You see? Not only are we impacted by the empty nest syndrome, so are our kids, whether they like to admit it or not.

How does the empty nest syndrome impact many of us?

There is that sense of loss when our kids leave because suddenly you are not needed anymore. They don't ask you for advice. They don't barge in the door and go, "Hey mom, what are you making for dinner?"

It's a tough situation for many of us and some women I talk to feel that they are going through an identity crisis. You have been a mom for 18 years (or more), and suddenly the role of mom is gone, and so you’re spinning in place, trying to figure out, "what do I do next?" Up until now, the children had been the prime focus.

Relationships are impacted by this empty nest syndrome quite a bit. Think about what you and your spouse focused on all those years. It started with changing diapers, then finding a daycare center, then locating a good grade school. Then once they're in school, you drive around to go to soccer practice, to dance recitals, to all these extracurricular activities.

Little time is spent eating dinner together or personal time together because there's always so much to do. There's very little space left for intimacy, and even on vacations, you are never alone. So the prime focus has become the kids, which it should be because you're their parent, you're their caretaker, you're the person they look up to as a role model and the person that they admire. Because of that, you're losing touch with your significant other.

In my case, I was the person that stayed home with the kids. When I decided to stop working, my first husband worked to support us. Our goal was not to hire a nanny. My job was not something I was crazy about going back to, and I was glad to be out of the office. I loved spending time with my kids, but I missed not making my own money. I lost that financial freedom that I had before the children.

One thing to consider is that when the kids are moving out, you have more time. This moment seems to be for some parents just the right ticket to move forward with their lives. It sure was for me, and I got back into traveling with my husband.

Compare your experience to that of others. I'm sure that my mom felt the same way when I moved away 32 years ago. I was 23 at the time, and I had planned to be in the US for a couple of years, and that's what my mom thought too. I thought I would be back in a jiffy, and we would go out to dinners, cook together and just spend more time together. But instead, I ended up staying in the US and raising my kids here.

We were missing out on our time together. I can relate to my mom so much more, thinking back to how she must've missed me and had to move forward with her life.

Keep in touch.

A coping strategy that helps alleviate empty nest syndrome is to stay in touch with your kids. My mom and I missed that boat a little bit when I left the nest. We lived our lives in different countries and did not make an effort to call each other more often.

I'm making an extra effort with my kids. I text them or I WhatsApp them, as my kids live in opposite parts of the world now.  I want to hear what's going on in their lives. I want to listen to their stories, and when my son moved out to the West Coast, I called him, and I was afraid that I would bother him. He said, "Mom, you know what? I would tell you if you bother me, and then you just have to wait till I have a little bit of time so I can talk to you," but he encouraged me to stay in touch as well. I think it's super important, that as parents we respect our kid's space.

Seek professional help if necessary.

In some cases, you may have dug yourself into an emotional hole that you can't climb out on your own and maybe finding professional help is the right solution for you.

Stay positive.

A positive outlook is something that I can't emphasize enough. Think of the kids moving away as a positive thing. I've raised my children to become an independent person. I raised them to be successful, happy, and enjoying life. That is what they want for you too!

Can you prevent the empty nest syndrome?

When the first one leaves, it's not that bad because you've maybe got number two (or three or four) still hanging around. In my case, my daughter Melanie was with me for a whole bunch of years. One thing that was tough for me as her mom was, that she kept moving in and moving out. Each time I had to separate myself emotionally from her. Have you experienced that?

My daughter Melanie moved to Nashville, and I'm like, "Yay, okay, she's good, she's happy, and found a place where she would like to live." Two years later she moved back in.

I've gotta tell you, that's hard. I felt that I went back into the “mom thing," you know what I mean? The, "Oh, I will solve your problems for you. Oh, of course, I will make lunch. I'll go to the grocery store for you. Just tell me all those things that you need to get done that you don't have time to do."

Oh my goodness, I had to hold back because as a mom you can be overbearing. Most importantly, she didn't want me to take over.

It is about you, your happiness, your fulfillment in life and I feel that the more peaceful we are, the more pleased our kids feel.

3 Empty Nest Survival Tips

Here are my three empty nest survival tips that have made the difference for me. I hope that you can apply these survival tips to your life as well.

#1 Stay Involved In Your Community

What do I mean by that? A big part of my life is my running and triathlon community. These are the people I hang out with on the weekend and in my spare time.  Each season, I sign up for training courses. This winter it’s the half-marathon program, with a goal of running a race in the spring.

That means that twice a week I would meet a particular group of people at different places; we run together, we talk, we have fun, we share our stories. We share our "empty nest stories" too because many of us are in the later stages of life. The younger parents are listening very carefully to those conversations as I found out. They are interested in how their lives might evolve as their kids get older. My running community has been my support, my go-to group, and my outlet, over these years as my kids moved away. Through the years, I became a certified running coach to help others become better runners and help them stay injury free.  

#2 Take On A New Challenge

Take on a new professional or personal challenge. I dove into creating my new brand: Pursue Your Spark. This podcast is part of my new online brand, and it allows me freedom of location.  I have a beautiful, small studio here in Maryland where I see people on a one-on-one basis. But I wanted to be able to visit my kids and still serve my community. I am finally able to put the work into my project that it deserves. I love it. I'm enjoying being able to reach more people - like you right now - through my podcast.

Think of what you can take on, or would like to take on. It could be merely stepping up in your business to take on a new role.

#3 Extra Cash!

Now that college is paid for, and you've got some extra cash lying around, put it to good use! We are remodeling our basement, and a portion of that extra money goes towards our travel. Trips that we previously couldn't afford are now part of our expense account, and we love it.

I have to admit that I took a little bit of that money just for me, and I am changing the way I dress and look. I’ll have a podcast coming later about this new change.

Today I want to encourage you to enjoy your kids' company and enjoy your life. I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed seeing my kids become these independent, strong people that make amazing choices in their lives. I can see myself in their choices, and how they live their life and the values that I instilled in them. I couldn't be a prouder mom. I hope my three empty nest survival tips guide you in the right direction. I'd love to hear how they helped you and changed your life.

Women On The Move - The Food Truck Owner, is about how one woman took a chance to change her life.

My guest: Debbie Ciardo,  Food Truck Owner + Chef of La Strada.

This is one of several interviews titled: "Women On The Move." The stories are about women that made their dreams become reality. Women that live the life they want and deserve. Strong women with the focus and determination to pull out all the stops in their life.

Watch the Youtube cooking video, to see how Debbie cooks the perfect Italian pasta and what's happening inside an Italian food truck. Click the link below to get the pasta recipe.

To reach Debbie Ciardo: [email protected]

Watch the cooking video

Get the Italian pasta recipe

You can read about other strong women taking charge of their life on my website.

As a mom, Ultrarunner, wife, and fulltime nanny Patricia follows her dreams.

My first interview is with my dear friend and fellow runner Patricia Scott. I can't wait to share her amazing story with you.

The stories are about women that made their dreams become a reality. Women that live the life they want and deserve. Strong women with the focus and determination to pull out all the stops in their life.

Read the interview on my blog: https://heikeyates.com/women-on-the-move/

For questions about running training/coaching contact Patricia Scott email her at: [email protected]