MindBody Alchemy

You've hit a wall and you're not sure how you can fix these lingering self-sabotage behaviors. You're about 1 day from calling it quits and deciding that if it's going to be this hard, you might as well just eat about it.

That is when it's time to go deeper. Your mess is calling you in and asking you to look at the things you've been turning away from.

There is a reason we say that it's not about the food, and this is the podcast that tells you exactly why that is. Ready?

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Sometimes we outgrow a goal, sometimes we need to trust ourselves to just keep going, and other times we get the urge to say that we are ready to walk away from the goal because it isn't important anymore; when in reality life feels hard and the goal has taken a backseat.

The skill you lack is learning to ride the waves without quitting.

This is perfectionistic thinking incognito. You start to feel overwhelmed by keeping up the initial intensity of effort you had in the beginning.

Rather than asking yourself how to ride the wave, or get some extra support, you decide to justify the urge to walk away by telling the story that it just doesn't matter anymore. But will it matter in 6 months? Will it matter in a year or two?

If you know the answer is yes, stay with it and dial back the intensity of effort. If you don't know for sure, stay with it long enough to be sure.

Quitting can be a revelation and a gift. Sometimes we stay with things out of fear or guilt that we've spent so much time on that goal already. That kind of quitting comes from a place of growth. It's aligned. It usually comes after a period of growth and discomfort, not in the middle of it.

But if quitting gives you a sense of relief from the burden on your mind, but doesn't have an aligned reason, then that relief is more about avoiding the discomfort right before the real growth happens.

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The only way out is through. This is a hard truth, but it is always said with love.

It's time to stop looking for reasons why things won't work and justifying crappy thinking with excuses and blaming.

Most programs will have some things that fit great, and some that you struggle to implement. Sometimes a strategy works right away, and other times it has to marinate for a while.

What we know for sure is that change requires repetition and responsibility.

Here are some examples:

You can blame, justify, excuse, and complain until the cows come home. Hell, you may even be right to do so, but how does that serve you? How does that get you to your next level of success?

When you take responsibility for what you can control, you are open to solutions and you have control. You can change things that you take ownership over.

When you choose to double down on why everyone or everything else was wrong, you stay in victim mode and rely on everyone but yourself to change the way you think and feel, and ultimately you relinquish your ability to get a better result.

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If this is how you feel, you're in good company. Many people feel like this and they too are missing out on the potential that self-acceptance offers you in your journey to your goals.

In this episode we are talking about how to use self-acceptance to move you forward instead of falling for the quitters narrative. You'll learn about what acceptance really looks like, how it can help you refocus your attention to where you want to be heading.

This is your opportunity to learn how to love the ugly child, and finally get out of your own way.

Doors open for the next round of group coaching on October 12, and I will be sharing the sign up links with you on Instagram. Mark your calendars! This program is a total makeover, and better than ever. We are going deep and I can't wait to see you transform.****

Thank you so much for your awesome feedback on the podcast! I have the coolest listeners!

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It's challenging to know where to point the finger. Are we weak-willed gluttons or is the food out to get us and life isn't fair?

I would suggest that there is probably a little of both (haha), but the reality isn't so sinister. We just need to understand how pleasure is related to pain, and what we actually do have control over.

When it comes to having a difficult relationship with food, we have to be on the lookout for our pleasure leaks.

This episode simplifies these systems and shows us that we aren't out of control around food, we just haven't quite learned how to work with the systems we have.

Find your pleasure leaks, change the way you reward yourself, and watch your relationship with food change along the way.

*Shout out the Andrew Huberman of Huberman Labs for making these concepts around dopamine, pleasure, and pain so easy to digest. If you love to geek out on neuroscience as much as I do, be sure to give that page a follow.

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You will always hear me go to bat for finding the most pleasurable way to reach your goals, and that it is the secret sauce to consistency. So why then, after seeking pleasure are you still struggling to get where you want to go?

The answer lies in your binary language. Pain, frustration, and desperation will make it easy to fall into the trap of all-or-nothing thinking. It's useful at the beginning of any goal, as it helps you stay committed to doing all the things.

What eventually happens though, is your all-or-nothing thinking gets mixed in with your old habitual thought and behavior patterns. This leaves you feeling entitled to feeling differently about doing the same old thing. That isn't how it works.

Pleasure is a bigger experience than just finding the path of least resistance. Finding the nuance and committing to a bigger picture of pleasure will help you stay in the long game and get you to your goals.

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The story goes something like this.

At first, it feels very validating because finally someone gets what you are going through and they have answers. Yipee!

But after a while, the enthusiasm dies down and you start to feel the familiar slow quit creep up. Why does this happen? Overwhelm.

An innocent habit of consuming information has left you feeling broken, and overwhelmed by all the things you have to work on. You may even start questioning whether or not the path you chose is the right one. All of the sudden it feels too big. It's too much. You're uncertain.

Since it feels insurmountable, you lose that early surge of belief in yourself and you start letting things slide. Why bother anyway?

Survival mode kicks in and before you know it, you've gone back to the old comforts of your old habits with a fresh dose of self-loathing to tend to.

But it doesn't have to be that way, and this episode is going to teach you how to stay committed to your goal in the midst of all the overwhelming information that is out there.

Are you ready to get unstuck and keep your cool? This is the episode you didn't know you desperately needed.****

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It seems innocent enough, but it's one of the top ways you are obliterating your chances of success. The scariest part is that it's so habitual, that it's unconscious and forgettable.

Read that again. Not only do you barely know you are doing it, but you don't remember doing it. When you aren't present to your choices, and you let the little things slide without acknowledgment, you can't make corrections.

This leaves you feeling frustrated and confused because your efforts aren't working.

My suggestion? Tell yourself the truth, always. Bring compassion and love, but always from truth.

Easier said than done, but always worth the effort.

Are you in? Shoot me a message and let me know!

Thoughts on this episode or ideas for future episodes? Contact me below. I love hearing from you!

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Post-Covid weight gain have you hiding under the bed when the invite for the happy hour comes through?

Should you feel shame and get your act together or should you accept what is, and slam the door on your social life?

How about neither.

In this episode, I'm showing you why this may have happened, why your weight isn't a problem, and clearing up the confusion that comes from the two social media camps that are pulling you in different directions.

Spoiler alert, you deserve to experience joy, take up space, and decide for yourself if you want to lose the weight you've gained. Oh, and you aren't alone!

No matter where you stand on the issues surrounding this pandemic, a huge dose of collective compassion is past due.

Let's get to work.

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Wishing time away is a waste! Not just a waste of time, because ironically it is, but it's a wasted opportunity to experience pleasure and joy all the way through.

Every mistake can either bring you closer to quitting or closer to your goal, depending on how you choose to think about it.

If you loathe what you do, but feel it's all going to be worth it in the end, you're sorely mistaken. The process is the reward. I know it sounds cliche, but what is the alternative?

How many times have you reached a goal, only on the heels of setting another one or letting it all go when it doesn't feel the way you expected it to feel?

We celebrate the scale going down, but we don't celebrate how great it feels to walk away from food that you want to eat but you're not hungry. We celebrate getting into a smaller size, but how often are we saying good job for drinking our water?

We don't stay in that state of celebration and euphoria because we reached a goal. We stay there because we choose to cultivate it for ourselves all along the way. We don't have to wait for an end result in order to feel that way. In fact, I insist that you don't. End results are fun but fleeting moments of excitement. I'm interested in living a more full life every day, not just the day I can fit into a smaller pair of jeans.

Start learning to celebrate every win, every milestone, and every screw-up that you learn from. The mundane daily tasks are the real champions of our story, and they never get the credit they deserve.

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