Mistakes Were Made

Is it you? Is it me? Are you moving to Antarctica?? In this episode we talk about how and how not to end a relationship.

Mentioned in the episode:

@karamintheworld on Instagram

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Are the same dynamics screwing up our relationships also hampering our social movements? Sarah and Alex talk to activist and law professor Dean Spade about the romance myth, capitalism and love in this f*cked up world.

Mentioned in the episode:

Love in a F*cked Up World | DeanSpade.net | The Death Panel | Movement Memos

Also by Dean Spade:

Mutual Aid | Normal Life: Administrative Violence, Critical Trans Politics, and the Limits of Law

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Links to bookshop.org are affiliate links. Any proceeds will support this podcast!

Encore episode

Romance: what does it mean?? Sarah, Alex and Jess talk about their favorite romantic movies on the hottest day of the year. And finally answer the question: what IS romance? Or, do they just come up with 5,000 new questions? Listen to the end to find out! This episode first aired in August 2024.

Mentioned in the episode:

Say Anything (Cameron Crowe, 1989) | The Graduate (Mike Nichols, 1967) | Wayne's World (Penelope Spheeris, 1992) | John Mahoney | Limerence on Wikipedia | In Your Eyes

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by eroyn franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Last episode we started to talk about race in dating, and tbh…mistakes were made. So this episode we're doubling down! Ramsey shares his experience dating as a Black polyamorous man in Seattle, offers advice for white people dating other races, and asks us "taboo" questions about our own experiences.

Mentioned in the episode:

• Pacific Northwest BIPOC Polyamory group

• TV Shows & Movies Recommended by Ramsey:

• Atlanta

• Insecure

• A Million Little Things

• Moonlight

• I Am MLK Jr.

• The Boondocks

• Kindred

• This is Us Season 1

• Match's 2023 Singles in America Study

• Facebook - Free Emotional Labor Club

[email protected] * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

We had such an interesting side conversation with Reagan about her experience working with a dating coach that we had to make a bonus episode all about it.

Mentioned in the episode:

• Still True

• Reagan Jackson

• Anwar White, Dating and Relationship Coach

• Get Your Guy Podcast with Anwar White

[email protected] * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Links to bookshop.org are affiliate links. Any proceeds will support this podcast!

Sarah and Alex's skeptical monogamous friend Reagan Jackson is back to grill them about sex, jealousy, and whether they're just dating other versions of each other over and over.

Mentioned in the episode:

• Still True

• Reagan Jackson

• Sarah's interview in Psychology Today: Societal Implications of Consensual Non-Monogamy

• The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity and Love. bell hooks

• Queer and Questioning Men of Seattle Meetup Group

[email protected] * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Links to bookshop.org are affiliate links. Any proceeds will support this podcast!

Lissa joins the podcast to help us parse out the difference between polyamory and swinging. And Alex opens up about his not-so-hot sex party experience.

Mentioned in the episode:

• https://seattle-inclusive-matchmaking.square.site/

• Reach out to Lissa: [email protected]

[email protected] * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

TMI time! Sarah and Alex work on healthy habits for disclosing info about sex and feelings in their other relationships. What's an overshare? When is it hiding or deception? And what is the nature of truth anyway?

Mentioned in the episode:

• More: A Memoir of Open Marriage by Molly Rodden Winter

• Disclosure (Michael Crichton)

[email protected] * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Sarah and Alex make sense of the election results by talking about developmental stages, anti-social behavior, and oh yeah and also polyamory.

Mentioned in the episode:

• Voting patterns by income

• Thoughts vs Feelings

• Polywise

• Polysecure

• More about Kegan and "The Evolving Self"

• Winnicott on the Psychology of Democracy

• More about Winnicott (and the ideas he stole from his wife)

• People with more privilege have less empathy

[email protected] * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Welcome to season 4 of Mistakes Were Made! Today we're asking: How much conflict should you expect in a healthy relationship? In this episode Sarah, Jessica and Alex explore how to fight better (rather than avoiding fights altogether) by understanding our internal patterns and reaction styles. Logo design by Roy Franklin: http://whateverfactory.org.

Mentioned in the episode:

• The Waterline Model

Talk to us:

[email protected] * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast