Model Minority Moms

As Asian-American first-generation women, we were marinated in all the unspoken rules of food throughout our childhoods. And even though almost nothing was taught explicitly, those food rules are still very much alive and well within us, kicking us to do certain things in a certain way, holding others to certain expectations, taking us on guilt trips when we opt out. We feel this doubly as we operate in a world where many others don't share (or even know about) those unspoken expectations, which can lead to disappointment, resentment and dare we say occasional rage? Join us on this episode where we get explicit about the unspoken rules of the last bite rule, and other things to know about eating with Asian ladies

Did you know that you have to feed kids (and adults) every day? Multiple times a day, it turns out. And each meal made at home involves some sort of plan, grocery shopping, prep (washing, chopping, measuring, mixing), cooking and clean up. Though it might have been a hobby or an afterthought in pre-kid life, the logistics around feeding the family becomes a whole system of tasks in and of itself post-kids. 75% of American women report being their household's primary food preparer and they spend an average of 1 hour per day just making and cleaning up the food, which doesn't include grocery shopping, meal planning and cleaning out the fridge. If you have a full-time job, that's 12% of your outside-of-home work, non-sleeping hours. So realistically, how does this work? The three of us lay out the current realities of managing the feeding of our families, day in and day out.

We are starting an episode series on food and looking at it through the lens of our families, Asian-American culture, our situation as working moms, gender and everything else. For all three of us, we grew up with food as our 'sixth love language'. But it also came loaded with its own baggage of gender expectations and time costs. And now we're operating in a completely different context than our parents' and grandparents' generation in terms of how we want to spend our time, how we want to relate to our spouse, our own ambitions and the cultural context. How do we navigate all of this? Listen in as we unpack our love/frustration, joy/tiredness, and devotion/confusion around that central pillar of Asian-American life: food.

What does "American" mean in "Asian-American"? Does it mean legal status, shared culture, shared language, shared benefits, shared commitment and sacrifice? How does that differ for our parents' generation vs ours? How do we reconcile that with the fact that despite being Americans, we as people of Asian descent still face discrimination and more recently even violence at the hands of other Americans? Take a listen as Susan, Jeanette and Kate all bring their different perspectives and personalities to this sometimes uncomfortable but important question of what being American means to each of us.

So how do you really really feel about abortion? And do you have anywhere you can talk about it? With Roe v Wade being overturned by the Supreme Court, we dig into where we stand with respect to abortion rights and how we got there. Wherever you are on the issue, we can all agree that it's important, especially for women. At the same time, our cultural and political environment feels super-polarized right now, eliminating spaces to voice different views in a civil and safe space. In this podcast episode, we seek to reclaim that in our own way... by creating a space for three smart but supportive friends to talk openly about this critical, timely and sensitive issue.

For those of us coming from families with deep dysfunction and/or trauma, we often choose different ways of coping - achievement, power, money, control, even addiction. Anything but despair right? For poet, writer and artist Shin Yu Pai, she chose the path of self-expression through language as a way of making sense of her past, present and future. Her experience of growing up in 1980s Riverside, California as the child of Taiwanese immigrants has profoundly shaped her projects, as well as her relationship to her son. We got to know her as the creator of The Blue Suit, a limited-series podcast from Seattle's NPR station KUOW that features the stories of Asian Americans through the lens of every day items. Join us for this thoughtful conversation about her choice to choose the creative professional path, how her life experiences have shaped her work, and what makes her choose the work she does every day.

For more on The Blue Suit podcast and Shin Yu Pai, check out these links: 

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Between COVID and flus/colds/random GI virus raging through our communities, it can feel like moms just can't catch a break. When your kid is sick home from care, how do you manage to care for them while keeping a toehold at work and keeping everything running in the household? We get real about what life looks like for working mamas when their little ones get sick.

Capping off our series on career decisions as Asian Americans, working parents, immigrant kids and products of elite schools, we talk about finding meaning in our careers and how that has evolved from our teens into our thirties. What does meaning in a career even mean? Our discussion took us to a somewhat unexpected destination that perhaps will resonate with you too.

Matchmaker, co-founder of a magazine for Asian-American teenage girls, co-founder of the Gold House collective (a leading AAPI organization for advancing media representation and commercial success), former management consultant, former chief of staff to Tony Hsieh the founder of Zappos, now a venture capitalist with Andreessen Horowitz... Maggie's career has been interesting and impressive to say the least. On this episode, she shares her career management philosophy with typical MMM candor and how parenthood and career have influenced each other. Listen for some great inspiration for anyone's career journey.

What's money got to do with your career? Is it everything, nothing, somewhere in between? How does the level of compensation influence how you feel about your job? What was your parents' message to you? What's your message to your kids? We tackle these questions and more in our episode on career and money, and our experiences trying to navigate these sometimes treacherous and confusing waters.