"I need some encouragement," the note ended.  The writer is a listener of my podcast and admitted the hard work that has gone into trying to save his marriage.

At the same time, another listener asked about whether this effort -- the work to save her marriage -- was just a "waste of time."  Could I, the writer wanted to know, point to some hope?  Some reason to continue the efforts.

If you haven't felt like these two writers, I'd be surprised.  And would be super-surprised if it did not emerge at some point in the process.

Working on a marriage crisis can feel like a slow slog through a deep bog, hip-high in quicksand and sludge.  It can feel like it threatens to pull you under.

Those are the times we need some encouragement and direction.  Some... as one asked... hope, and as the other asked... encouragement.

I don't believe in false hope.  I tell it like it is... and encourage you to take the steps you need to take.  I shoot straight and tell the truth.  So, first, let me say that I do not (and have never) claim that every marriage can be saved.  Even if you do everything right, your spouse may still refuse to move toward the relationship.

I also know that there are two good outcomes.  First is to save your marriage.  Second is to rest assured that you did everything you could do to save your marriage.

My encouragement:  There is one way through this.  And that is THROUGH this.  Regardless of outcome, YOU WILL BE OK.  And YOU get to choose how you respond to this and every other challenge in life.  So respond the best you can.  Do your best.  Rest in that knowledge.

Oh, and make sure you prepare yourself to do your best.  Equip and execute.  You've GOT this!

RELATED RESOURCES

Connection Versus Confusion

Can Every Marriage Be Saved?

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

"How I Saved My Marriage"

Control What You Can

You Need A Plan

The Save The Marriage System