Mt. Rushmore Podcast

Revenge: a dish best served cold. But it's pretty good piping hot as well. Just don't serve it at room temperature – when you do that, the revenge starts to congeal and it just turns gross.

We'd like to swear our revenge on our enemies, because that sounds like fun, but unfortunately, we don't have any enemies. We'd like some, though, so if you would like to be the Mt. Rushmore Podcast's bitter rival, please let us know.

Meanwhile, while we wait for someone to wrong us so we can exact our sweet justice, enjoy this week's new episode, where we talk about other people who were able to get revenge in ways big and small.

SHOW NOTES

• Dave Carroll, aka "United Breaks Guitars" (Richard's Choice)
• The Trump Presidency (Michael's Choice)
• "The Shawshank Redemption" (Richard's Choice)
• Lorena Bobbitt (Michael's Choice)
• "The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover" (Richard's Choice)
• "Fish Called Wanda" (Michael's Choice)
• Pierre Picaud (Richard's Choice)
• "The Stars My Destination" (Michael's Choice)

Listening to a live album is as close to the concert experience as you can get. Personally, I like to try and make it even more realistic by having a tall friend stand directly in front of me while I hold a watered-down drink in a plastic cup and listen through a speaker two inches from my ear that is blaring at maximum volume.

This week we're looking at our favorite concert albums of all time. Some remind us of bands we've seen before while others are snapshots of live acts we'll never get to see perform.

SHOW NOTES

• XTC, "BBC Radio One Live in Concert 1980" (Richard's Choice)
• Portishead, "Roseland NYC Live" (Michael's Choice)
• Johnny Cash, "At Folsom Prison (Joint Choice)
• Queen, "Live at Wembley '86" (Michael's Choice)
• Nirvana, "Unplugged in New York" (Richard's Choice)
• Talking Heads, "Stop Making Sense" (Michael's Choice)
• Cheap Trick, "Live at Budokan" (Richard's Choice)

This week we're looking at lone wolves - people who live by their own set of rules and don't need YOUR help. It's a longtime trope in pop culture and we have plenty of choices both real and fictional.

Arr-arr-awooooo!

SHOW NOTES

• Ted Kaczynski (Joint Choice)
• Omar Little (Richard's Choice)
• Crocodile Dundee (Michael's Choice)
• The Man With No Name (Richard's Choice)
• Rambo (Michael's Choice)
• "Stone Cold" Steve Austin (Richard's Choice)
• Kermit the Hermit (Michael's Choice)

Any schnook can break walls one through three... but it takes someone with true mastery of their art to make it on the Mt. Rushmore of Breaking the 4th Wall. This time tested trope of acknowledging the audience is as old as the art of storytelling, but it's not like all these old hacks have Ryan Reynolds good looks and charm in Deadpool.

Look, let's get something straight: robbery is bad. Unless you are robbing from the poor to give to the rich. Or are a suave gentleman thief who is more in it for the thrill than the score. Or if you are the ringleader of a gang that stole the Eiffel Tower.

The point is this: it's great to be a robber if you are cool. Here's our choice for thieves who had that something extra that puts them ahead of your common criminal in life's great police line-up.

SHOW NOTES

• Robin Hood (Michael's Choice)
• Bill Mason (Richard's Choice)
• Jack MacLean (Michael's Choice)
• Danny Ocean (Richard's Choice)
• Thomas Crown (Michael's Choice)
• The Great Train Robbery/Ronnie Biggs (Joint's Choice)
• Carmen Sandiego (Richard's Choice)

Gutzon Borglum chose the four Presidents who make up Mt. Rushmore because he thought they symbolized the birth (Washington), expansion (Jefferson), development (Roosevelt) and preservation (Lincoln) of the United States. Plus, he totally wanted a chance to carve Teddy's sweet 'stache.

But what if we had the chance to create a sequel: a Mt. Rushmore 2, Electric Boogaloo for Presidents who almost made the first cut or came along later? Who would be on this almost as impressive monument (probably in Montana or Wyoming)?

We attempt to find that out this week as we celebrate our 150th episode and make our picks for a new Mt. Rushmore.

A famous German philosopher once said "and when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." Of course, little did he know that within a few years after his death, Macedon would be ripped apart by civil war and in-fighting. What a dope!

Yes, all great civilizations come to an end at some point, whether it's for reasons catastrophic or simply the ravages of time. But that will never happen to us, right? WESTERN CIVILIZATION NUMBER 1 WOO HOO!

So join us this week as we discuss the empires that fell apart.

SHOW NOTES

• Atlantis (Michael's Choice)
• Easter Island (Richard's Choice)
• The Mayans (Joint Choice)
• The Vikings (Joint Choice)
• Godfellas from "Futurama" (Michael's Choice)
• Western Civilization from "The Terminator" (Richard's Choice)
• The Mole People (Jeff's Choice)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! You know what this time of year means. It's time to get really meta and review all of the best things that happened on the podcast this year.

Some might say that this is an excuse for us to get lazy and not do any research for an episode over the Christmas break. Others will contend that this is a form of wankery designed to make us feel better about our cute little podcast. To which we say: why does it have to be just one thing?

What was your highlight from this year? Anything you'd like to see us do more of this coming year? (Except for "shut up", I mean.)

If there is one thing that cool-guy hipster doofuses like us know: it's that holiday music doesn't have to be so dull and boring. This week we skim through our record collections to handpick the most essential holiday music for your bougie party on the Mt. Rushmore of Hipster Holiday Songs.

SHOW NOTES

• "Jesus Christ" by Big Star (Richard's Choice)
• "The 12 Days of Christmas" by John Denver and the Muppets (Michael's Choice)
• "Wonderful Christmastime" by the Shins (Richard's Choice)
• "Santa Claud Go Straight to the Ghetto" by Belle and Sebastian (Michael's Choice)
• "Father Christmas" by the Kinks (Richard's Choice)
• "Christmas Wrapping" by Save Ferris (Michael's Choice)
• "Your Christmas Whiskey" by the Minus 5 (Richard's Choice)
• "Come On! Let's Boogie to the Elf Dance!" by Sufjan Smith (Michael's Choice)
• "The Man in the Santa Suit" by Fountains of Wayne (Jeff's Choice)

What would you do if you were trapped on an island? Maybe look for a source of fresh water, or get a fire started? How about building yourself some sort of shelter from the elements?

OK, let's be honest - the first thing you'd do is get butt naked and let the warmth of the sun hit every forbidden spot on your body. But it's the things that would happen after the inevitable sunburn subsides that would determine your ability to survive on a desert island.

This week we're talking about everything from the crippling boredom of being alone to the possibilities of building a taco machine. So yeah, we're pretty all over the place, kind of like a fever dream you might have if you decided to drink sea water out of desperation.

SHOW NOTES

• "The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island" (Richard's Choice)
• "The Descendents" (Jeff's Choice)
• "Cast Away" (Richard's Choice)
• The Island of Misfit Toys from "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (Jeff's Choice)
• "Far Side" Cartoons on a Desert Island (Richard's Choice)
• "Godzilla vs. Gigan" (Jeff's Choice)
• "Survivorman" (Richard's Choice)
• Bringing something onto the island, such as a taco machine (Jeff's Choice)