My Delight with Sarah Bartel

Ladies, this is your invitation from Sarah to join her on a "Daughters of Grace" Women's pilgrimage to France in May 2026!

It's this May 4-13th, in the footsteps of St. Thérèse, her mama St. Zélie, St. Joan of Arc ("I was born to do this!"), and of course, all guided, inspired, and devoted to Our Lady. You'll pray at Notre Dame cathedral, the Chapel of the Miraculous Medal, Mont St. Michel where we'll seek the archangel's strength and protection, and culminate with a healing of hearts at Lourdes.

The themes of the dignity of women, feminine genius, the theology of the body throughout  a woman's life cycle, and healing the heart of a woman will all be woven throughout the pilgrimage.

Sarah shares her pivotal memory of encountering St. John Paul II at World Youth Day in Paris in 1997 in an atmosphere of joy, gathered with thousands of youth from around by the Holy Spirit. 

In this episode, Sarah shares seven reasons why she loves France and wants to take you there with her. 

1. The country's devotion to Our Lady

2. French saints! 

3. Breathtaking cathedrals (French Gothic architecture 😍)

4. Beauty 

5. Intelligence + Elegance

6. The French Language

7. The Food

The pilgrimage costs $4,199 for the land-only package in which you arrange your travel to and from France, or $4,999 flying from Seattle. 

More info at

https://canafeast.com/france

Want to go, but can't? 

Pray this novena to see if a way might open up through the Little Flower's prayers!

My Novena Rose Prayer

O Little Therese of the Child Jesus, please pick for me a rose
from the heavenly gardens and send it to me as a message of love.

O Little Flower of Jesus, ask God to grant the favors
I now place with confidence in your hands . .

(mention in silence here)

St. Therese, help me to always believe as you did in
God’s great love for me, so that I might imitate your “Little Way” each day.

Amen

Want to join the free online formation on the pilgrimage themes? 

Sign up at:

https://canafeast.com/france

 🔥 Free Guide to 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit for Improving Intimacy for Catholic Wives 

https://canafeast.com/MyDelight-9-Skills

🤔 What is Allowed for Catholics in the Bedroom? Find out in the 19-page "What's Allowed List" ($10)

https://canafeast.com/mydelight-whatsallowed

Support the show

Want to learn 10 Truths for Good Sex for Catholic Wives? 

Free "10 Truths" download.

https://canafeast.com/10truths

Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)

Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10)

What should you wear as you climb into bed with your husband for a lovemaking night?

Sarah invites you to consider:

Wearing something that makes you feel good. 

1. It might feel good in terms of comfort. It might feel cozy and comforting on your skin and keep you warm. 

2. It might make you feel good because it looks good on you. It's your color. The cut and fit suit you and flatter you. That's another wonderful reason to wear something to bed! 

3. It might make you feel good because it feels sensual, with slinky, soft fabric.

4. Maybe it feels good because you feel feminine, sexy, or confident in it. That can help you get in the right attitude for lovemaking. 

Lingerie is okay. You don't have to wear it, but you can. There's nothing immoral about it, and in fact, it is quite likely that some of the lace made by St. Zélie Martin's workshop was for lingerie.

If you want to wear lingerie, consider a model-free store such as  Mentionables. (Get 10% off with the affiliate link: https://www.shopmentionables.com/BARTEL)

Or, consider the unique, hand-made, fair-trade pieces made by Ginger and Peach. https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com

Another tip is to go to an upscale department store, try on some chemises and nightgowns to see what you like, and then see if you can find them for a fraction of the price on eBay.

Imaginary lingerie is another great way to go! It fits perfectly, looks great on you, doesn't itch, scratch, or ride up, and it's FREE! 

5. Don't do this if it's bringing you down!  Is ratty, stretched-out sleepwear dragging your energy down and making you feel frumpy and un-sexy? You deserve to feel good. If it's dragging you down, ditch it, and make an intentional choice to wear something that makes you feel good as you climb into bed to meet your husband.

 🔥 Free Guide to 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit for Improving Intimacy for Catholic Wives 

https://canafeast.com/MyDelight-9-Skills

🤔 What is Allowed for Catholics in the Bedroom? Find out in the 19-page "What's Allowed List" ($10)

https://canafeast.com/mydelight-whatsallowed

Support the show

Want to learn 10 Truths for Good Sex for Catholic Wives? 

Free "10 Truths" download.

https://canafeast.com/10truths

Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)

Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10)

What is a sex sabbatical? How do you know if you need one? What do you do during it, and how do you change up your dynamic afterwards?

In this episode, Sarah shares how a sex sabbatical can be a helpful way to reset your love life in marriage. If you're in a cycle of obligation sex, forcing yourself to have painful sex, or just feeling burnt out, used, or resentful about sex in your marriage, a sex sabbatical can be just what a wife needs. It can give her the time to reflect on how she got to this point, it can give her space to research and learn more, and it can give her time to plan out and design a better chapter going forward, after coming together with her husband again.

A husband and wife can use this time to develop other areas of intimacy in their marriage that may have gotten neglected. They can work on their communication, deepen emotional intimacy, and expand their repertoire of non-sexual touch. 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Mary Bruno, Missing Pieces: Female Perspectives on Sex for Catholic Women (book)

Cana Feast Retreat Library (at-home Catholic date night retreats for a small dose of cemotional connection)

Abundant Catholic Marriage Course (comprehensive online program for a big dose of emotional connection)

Ruth Buezis, Awaken Love: The Truth about Sex That Will Transform Your Marriage (book)

 🔥 Free Guide to 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit for Improving Intimacy for Catholic Wives 

https://canafeast.com/MyDelight-9-Skills

🤔 What is Allowed for Catholics in the Bedroom? Find out in the 19-page "What's Allowed List" ($10)

https://canafeast.com/mydelight-whatsallowed

Support the show

Want to learn 10 Truths for Good Sex for Catholic Wives? 

Free "10 Truths" download.

https://canafeast.com/10truths

Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)

Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10)

What does the Blessed Virgin Mary have to do with your love life as a Catholic wife? Is it even appropriate to turn to her for help in this area, seeing as she is a virgin--the Virgin of virgins, in fact?

Yes! She is the passionate spouse of the Holy Spirit, and you do not need to be shy of asking her help with this intimate sanctuary of your marriage. 

-Mary is the perfect model of active receptivity. This concept can help you grow in your love life. Some women need to develop the "active" side of this more, and for others, perhaps it's the "receptivity" they need to work on. Meditating on what "active receptivity" means for you can be helpful.

-You can ask Mary's help by praying a novena to Our Lady, Undoer of Knots for help undoing knots of shame, ignorance, wounds, and other obstacles holding you back from enjoying peace, freedom, and wholeness in your love life.

-St. John Paul II was deeply devoted to Our Lady, and he is also the pope who has written and spoken most on sex and marriage.

-Consider consecrating yourself to Our Lady, praying the Rosary, and approaching her for help. Her help and protection are powerful. 

• St. Maximilian Kolbe's Consecration to Mary (read about the preparation as well):

https://militiaoftheimmaculata.com/act-of-consecration-to-mary/

• St. Louis deMontfort's Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary
• 33 Days to Morning Glory: A Do-It-Yourself Retreat in Preparation for Total Consecration, by Fr. Michael Gaitley

 🔥 Free Guide to 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit for Improving Intimacy for Catholic Wives 

https://canafeast.com/MyDelight-9-Skills

🤔 What is Allowed for Catholics in the Bedroom? Find out in the 19-page "What's Allowed List" ($10)

https://canafeast.com/mydelight-whatsallowed

Support the show

Want to learn 10 Truths for Good Sex for Catholic Wives? 

Free "10 Truths" download.

https://canafeast.com/10truths

Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)

Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10)

So many moms feel touched out by the end of the day and don't want their husband to touch them, especially not in lovemaking. 

How do you handle this?

In this episode, Sarah shares 4 tips for handling that touched-out feeling that affects moms with young kids as well as other hands-on caregivers.

1. Set boundaries with your kids to save yourself from some of the unwanted touches throughout the day--for example, teach them not to tug at your clothes, if that drives you nuts. 

2. Take the time you need to reset and regulate after a high-touch day. You can calm your nervous system down. Scrolling and screens won't do this; a walk, a book, quiet time by yourself can. After you reset, you might be more open to touch than you thought you could be.

3. Your back, feet, and legs probably aren't touched-out. It's usually your arms, upper torso, head, and maybe core/ lap area that are. After you reset, invite your husband to touch you in those places that haven't been overstimulated. Try a back massage, a foot rub, or a leg massage first. Once you're feeling good from those touches, you will likely feel more open to touch in your upper torso, arms, head, and core/pelvis/lap area. 

4. Are you an HSP? Take the quiz to see if you're a Highly Sensitive Person. https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/ Learning that you are an HSP can help you learn how to take care of yourself better. Know that overstimulation from touch will affect you more than others, and give yourself extra reset time and white space in your day. 

Learn more about the superpowers and sufferings of being an HSP at hsperson.com, and learn to talk with your husband about your bubble. Sometimes your bubble of personal space will be big, other times smaller and more porous. Use this, or some other image, to communicate with your husband about whether coming in for some touch is welcome or not at any given time.

 🔥 Free Guide to 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit for Improving Intimacy for Catholic Wives 

https://canafeast.com/MyDelight-9-Skills

🤔 What is Allowed for Catholics in the Bedroom? Find out in the 19-page "What's Allowed List" ($10)

https://canafeast.com/mydelight-whatsallowed

Support the show

Want to learn 10 Truths for Good Sex for Catholic Wives? 

Free "10 Truths" download.

https://canafeast.com/10truths

Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)

Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10)

Mary Bruno wrote Missing Pieces: Female Perspectives on Sex for Catholic Women in response to a lack of women's voices among the popular speakers and authors who are most well-known for bringing messages about theology of the body and Catholic teachings on sex and marriage.

The theology and teachings are beautiful and true, but they implicitly assume that sex will be pleasurable. 

What if it's painful, as up to 75% of women will experience at some point in their lives? 

What if they desire it more than their husbands do? 

What if they don't realize that there's skill to learn in this area, and incorrectly assume it will be amazing right off the bat, starting from the wedding night? 

These are some of the experiences Mary addresses in her book. Join Sarah and Mary in a fascinating discussion in an area that needs more attention!

Mary Bruno, Missing Pieces: Female Perspectives on Sex for Catholic Women, 2024. 

Find Mary on her website, marybruno.com

Follow her in IG @whitelotusblooming

 🔥 Free Guide to 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit for Improving Intimacy for Catholic Wives 

https://canafeast.com/MyDelight-9-Skills

🤔 What is Allowed for Catholics in the Bedroom? Find out in the 19-page "What's Allowed List" ($10)

https://canafeast.com/mydelight-whatsallowed

Support the show

Want to learn 10 Truths for Good Sex for Catholic Wives? 

Free "10 Truths" download.

https://canafeast.com/10truths

Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)

Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10)

How do you find time for sex when you'e a busy mom with young kids?

First, Sarah shares three mindset shifts, plus a bonus note on attitudes about motherhood:

1. You NEED to make time for your marriage. You don't find it, you make it. You need to make time for emotional connection with your husband, and also for sex. Ideally, you want both of them together, but if you only have time for one, consider prioritizing emotional connection first. Consider scheduling it, and have an attitude that accepts that preparation will make it better--just as Mass is scheduled, and entails many layers of preparation (the homily, music, flowers, usher plan, etc.).

2. Emotional connection is so important for making lovemaking meaningful and pleasurable. Women are designed to thrive sexually in an atmosphere of heart-to-heart connection with their husband, which includes that feeling of being truly known and seen. 

3. Good lovemaking takes time: ideally, 15-60+ minutes per session. If you don't care about it feeling good and bonding, or you don't care about feeling mutual pleasure, you don't need much time. However, that is likely to lead to you, the wife, feeling left behind, used, and resentful. You will be more likely to see sex as just another chore to check off your list. 

4. Motherhood does not have to mean you are frazzled and exhausted. That is not a sign that you are doing it right. It is incredibly demanding, but look for where you can bring in help and make space for more in your life than just caring for your kids. Make time to cultivate your mind, your friendships, your hobbies... and your idea of yourself as a lover, not just a mother. 

That said, here are four ideas for making time for good lovemaking in marriage:

1. Weekend afternoon, during the little one's nap. Put on a movie and set out snacks for the bigger kids. Then, Mommy and Daddy go to their bedroom to have "a little nap." 

2. Cereal Night. This is a weekday night in which you serve the easiest dinner possible--maybe even just cold cereal, in plastic bowls! Streamline the bedtime rooutine. Make it the simplest, easiest possible version of dinner and bedtime. Then, once the kids are in bed, Mom and Dad make a bee-line for their bedroom WITHOUT PICKING UP THEIR PHONES, laptop, or tablets first. (Those screens are "thieves in the night" that will steal your precious opportunities for emotional and sexual connection! They're a trap. Stay off, or an hour later you'll find yourselves scrolling or surfing, and then too tired to really have good lovemaking.) 

3. Set Your Alarms for the Middle of the Night. Get in one solid sleep cycle, and set your alarm for 4 hours after your heads hit the pillow. Then, wake up, make love in the dead of night, and go back to sleep for the rest of the night. 

4. Arrange Babysitting Just for Sex Time.  You can do a babysitting swap with another couple with young kids, bring the kids to in-town parents for the evening, or have a babysitter over while you two go to a faraway part of the house to "do your taxes" or "have a business meeting." Get a white noise machine if you want to. 

 🔥 Free Guide to 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit for Improving Intimacy for Catholic Wives 

https://canafeast.com/MyDelight-9-Skills

🤔 What is Allowed for Catholics in the Bedroom? Find out in the 19-page "What's Allowed List" ($10)

https://canafeast.com/mydelight-whatsallowed

Support the show

Want to learn 10 Truths for Good Sex for Catholic Wives? 

Free "10 Truths" download.

https://canafeast.com/10truths

Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)

Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10)

In this episode, Sarah welcomes special guest Nathan Bartel... her husband! 

Sarah asks Nathan about what led him to create his Holy Desires course for husbands. Along the way, they chat about:

• Philosophy (Nathan's Master's degree from CUA and his love of Aristotle)
• Virtue
• Struggles Husbands Face (mismatched libidos in marriage, not knowing how their wives' sexuality works, and finding the time amidst work and kids)
• Sex in Three Acts (Act I: Beforeplay + Foreplay, Act II: Intercourse, Act II: Afterglow)
• Men are Helicopters, Women are Jet Planes (Nathan reacts to a metaphor Sarah is testing out to help highlight the difference between men's and women's sexual responses.)

Nathan's 6-week Holy Desires class open through Friday, Oct. 10th, and won't reopen until March 2026. Check it out here if interested.

Want his free guide, Three Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams? Here you go!

 🔥 Free Guide to 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit for Improving Intimacy for Catholic Wives 

https://canafeast.com/MyDelight-9-Skills

🤔 What is Allowed for Catholics in the Bedroom? Find out in the 19-page "What's Allowed List" ($10)

https://canafeast.com/mydelight-whatsallowed

Support the show

Want to learn 10 Truths for Good Sex for Catholic Wives? 

Free "10 Truths" download.

https://canafeast.com/10truths

Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)

Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10)

If you're using NFP to avoid pregnancy (TTA), how can you thrive in your marriage with the abstinence period in your fertile window? How do you stay close? What sort of physical affection and touch is appropriate? (No genital stimulation for intentional arousal.) How can you harness the extra boost from the ovulation hormones to set yourself up for better lovemaking once you get the green light again?

 🔥 Free Guide to 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit for Improving Intimacy for Catholic Wives 

https://canafeast.com/MyDelight-9-Skills

🤔 What is Allowed for Catholics in the Bedroom? Find out in the 19-page "What's Allowed List" ($10)

https://canafeast.com/mydelight-whatsallowed

Support the show

Want to learn 10 Truths for Good Sex for Catholic Wives? 

Free "10 Truths" download.

https://canafeast.com/10truths

Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)

Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10)

Maybe you're a Catholic wife with sex struggles in your marriage, but you think, "Oh well, that's just how it is." In this episode, Sarah lays out five reasons why it's worth your bother to figure out how to make things better for you. 

1. You're worth it. 

2. Sex is the body language of the wedding vows, so learning how to communicate the messages of love in those vows well is important.

3. The practice of improving your experience of your love life can strengthen your marriage. 

4. You want to model a healthy, holy, positive view of sex for your kids.

5. It's not going to get better on its own.

 🔥 Free Guide to 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit for Improving Intimacy for Catholic Wives 

https://canafeast.com/MyDelight-9-Skills

🤔 What is Allowed for Catholics in the Bedroom? Find out in the 19-page "What's Allowed List" ($10)

https://canafeast.com/mydelight-whatsallowed

Support the show

Want to learn 10 Truths for Good Sex for Catholic Wives? 

Free "10 Truths" download.

https://canafeast.com/10truths

Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)

Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10)