At fifteen weeks into her first pregnancy, Caroline began experiencing kidney pain, and was eventually diagnosed with a swollen kidney. Fear started to take root as she saw different specialists, all with different opinions as to how to resolve it.

After a horrible experience with a nephrostomy bag (a bag to drain the kidney of pee that is attached to one's back), Caroline consented to corrective surgery, at twenty two weeks pregnant, which then required a second follow up surgery.

Throughout her experiences with these medical procedures, ensuing complications, and fear for how they may impact the pregnancy, there was very little true informed consent from her care team.

Throughout this ordeal, she felt her trust in her body deteriorating.

Despite her kidney issues, and ultimately two surgeries, Caroline was able to have her planned-for home birth. After the baby was born, however, the midwife rushed her to transfer to the hospital for a reason Caroline now feels was not a true emergency.

Caroline says her journey included many tough lessons, among them to be very selective about who to let into the birth space and on her birth team. She is practicing forgiveness, both for self and others.

Follow Caroline @carolineofenstein

Find Caroline's podcast at Naturally Caroline

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Intro / outro music: Dreams by Markvard