Neurodivergent Conversations | Autism, ADHD, AuDHD, PDA, Emotional Regulation, SEND parent, Meltdowns, Special Needs Parent

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If you have ever built the perfect color-coded chart, laminated it, felt so proud of it, and then watched it fall apart by Tuesday, this episode is for you.

Greer opens with a picture you might recognize: 7:42 in the morning, cold coffee, a child on the kitchen floor over socks before shoes, and that sinking thought, "I did everything right. Why is the system not working?" Here is the gentle truth she landed on. The system was not broken. The expectation was.

This whole episode is about one quiet shift that can change the feel of your home: trading rigid routines for simple rhythms. A routine runs on the clock. A rhythm runs on the flow. A routine shatters when the day goes sideways. A rhythm just bends, and then it comes right back.

Greer walks through why rhythms work so well for neurodivergent brains. Underneath everything, our nervous systems are asking one quiet question, "Am I safe? Do I know what is coming next?" A rhythm answers that with the predictability of "this comes after that," minus the pressure of the exact minute that sets so many of our kids off.

You will also hear the after-school example so many of us know by heart. That 3pm crash where your kid walks in the door and melts down ten minutes later. It is not bad behavior. It is a nervous system finally letting go in the one place it feels safe enough to. Greer shares the simple, no-clock flow that softened it in her own home: shoes off, a snack already waiting, the lights down a little, and no questions about their day for the first twenty minutes.

And because real life is not tidy, she talks honestly about the days it all falls apart, why missing the rhythm is not the same as failing it, and why you get to be the thermostat in your home, not the thermometer.

If you walk away with one thing, let it be this. You do not need a better chart. You do not need to overhaul everything by Sunday. You just need one small rhythm, anchored to the part of the day that hurts the most. Start there.

You are not doing it wrong. And you are not doing it alone.

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Have you ever tried to talk your neurodivergent child through a big feeling and just hit a wall? Same. In this episode I sat down with Katherine, a neuro-affirming counsellor and craniosacral therapist, to talk about why words are not always the way in, and what to reach for instead.

We start somewhere that might gently rearrange how you think about feelings. You know the “name it to tame it” idea? Katherine reminds us that naming a feeling is actually the last step, not the first. For so many neurodivergent and highly sensitive kids, the felt experience in the body comes long before the words, and honestly our language is too small to hold all of it.

She also says something I have been shouting about for years: we are not meant to tell our kids how they feel. Instead of “I see you’re sad,” we can get down on their level and ask, what is happening in your body? What do you notice in your heart, your tummy, your feet? Is there a colour for this? An animal? A character? For the kids who love to get into character, this can open a door that “use your words” never could.

We get into the vagus nerve too (yes, I am obsessed, and no, you are not crazy for finding it fascinating). Katherine breaks down how our nervous system is constantly scanning for safety, why co-regulation matters so much, and why she is not a fan of the word “regulation” at all. A lot of what gets called regulation, she says, is really just asking our kids to keep their feelings in and perform calm for the world.

And then there is the part for you, mama. Because you are co-regulating everyone in your house, often while running on empty. Katherine shares simple ways to come back to your own body so you can respond instead of react, and she even guides us through a short somatic exercise called the salamander (from Stanley Rosenberg’s book Accessing the Healing Power of the Vagus Nerve). It takes a couple of minutes, and I felt the shift in real time.

A gentle note before you listen: Katherine is sharing from her own training and experience as a counsellor and craniosacral therapist, so think of everything here as encouragement and ideas rather than a prescription. You know your family best, so take what fits and loop in your own care team or practitioner for anything specific to you or your child.

If you have ever felt like the talk-it-out approach just is not landing, this one is for you. Come listen, take a breath, and remember you are not doing any of this alone.

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If mornings in your house feel like a pressure cooker that goes off before you've even had your coffee — this episode is for you.

Greer sits down with Rob Edmonds, co-founder of MindShift Mentors and a strategic psychotherapist and clinical hypnotherapist, and Carl (Col), a movement coach who has worked with over 3,000 families. Together, they've created a program called Morning Wars — a dual approach that combines intentional movement with cognitive pattern reprogramming to help ADHD kids (and their whole families) actually change the morning experience.

What they share in this conversation is both validating and genuinely hopeful. Because the message isn't "your kid needs to be fixed." It's that nobody is the problem — the patterns are. And patterns can change.

You'll hear them talk about why ADHD brains respond so powerfully to movement, how building a "bank of morning victories" can reduce meltdowns later in the day, and why what happens in your household before the school run is often less about your child's behavior and more about the loop the whole family is running together.

There's something really grounding in this conversation about the idea that regulation is contagious — in both directions. When mum or dad wakes up already braced for a hard morning, that stress transfers. But when kids start the day doing something that builds their confidence, something shifts for the whole household.

They also get practical: one instruction at a time, preparing the night before, specific guided audios and nighttime stories designed for little ones aged 3–10, and movement exercises that get the brain and body actually talking to each other.

If you've been doing the same thing every morning and wondering why it isn't working, this episode offers a genuinely different way in — without blame, without pressure, and with a lot of warmth.

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If you've ever crouched next to your child mid-meltdown, saying all the right things, and watched it make zero difference — this episode will finally explain why. And more importantly, it will make you feel a whole lot less like you're doing it wrong.

Greer sits down with Nikki, founder of HushAway — a gentle, sound-based platform built specifically for neurodivergent children aged four to ten — for a conversation that is equal parts science and soul. Nikki has spent years in early education, coaching, and neurodivergent-inclusive mentoring, and she created HushAway after noticing the same gap everywhere she looked: the tools we hand children in moments of overwhelm require the exact part of the brain that's already gone offline.

In this episode, Nikki walks through what's actually happening in a child's body during a meltdown — from the prefrontal cortex going offline, to cortisol flooding the system, to the amygdala firing as if there's genuine danger. And she explains, so clearly and so kindly, why "calm down," "take a breath," or "imagine a peaceful beach" simply can't land in those moments. It's not that they won't. It's that they can't.

Then she talks about sound — and why it's different. Sound travels through the ear, through the cochlea, directly into the brainstem and the autonomic nervous system in milliseconds. Before a child has a single conscious thought, their body is already responding. No language required. No cooperation needed. Just softness, doing its quiet work.

They also get into the 3:30pm wall — that moment when a child who has been holding it together all day at school walks through your front door and falls completely apart. Nikki reframes it in a way that will genuinely stay with you: that isn't bad behaviour. That is a child who trusts you enough to finally let go.

HushAway uses soundscapes, gentle frequencies, somatic storytelling, and ASMR-inspired sounds — all curated to help a child's nervous system find its way back to safe. And it's currently heading into formal EEG research at the University of East London, which means the science is catching up with what a lot of parents are already experiencing at home.

This one is for every mum who has felt helpless in the middle of the storm — and needed someone to hand her something that actually works.

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If you've ever looked back on your life and realized how much energy went into just fitting in, this episode is going to feel like a deep exhale.

Greer sits down with author and ADHD coach Caroline Maguire for an honest conversation about friendship, masking, and what it really means to find your people as a neurodivergent adult — and to help your kids do the same.

Together they talk about why "just fit in" was never good advice, why unmasking is a journey rather than a switch you flip, and the difference between masking out of fear and choosing to keep yourself safe in a room that isn't safe yet. Caroline also shares one of her favorite parenting reframes: trading "why can't you be like everyone else?" for a curious "what happened, buddy?"

You'll hear why interest is the real fuel for connection, how starting small (even one activity) beats trying to do it all, and the permission so many of us need — to stop collecting any-old friends and start finding people who actually treat us well.

If you're tired, stretched thin, and wondering where friendship even fits right now, consider this your reminder: you're doing the best you can, and you get to choose.

Caroline's books, Why Will No One Play With Me? and Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults, are linked below, and you can find her on Instagram

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Join us for Christmas in July as we connect, celebrate, and have a little fun!

If you've ever cancelled plans not because you didn't want to go, but because there was just no capacity left in the house — this one's for you.

In this episode, Greer sits down with Tracey Jewel Constable, a late-diagnosed neurodivergent mum raising her son Frankie, who is autistic and navigating ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder). Together, they get into the honest, unglamorous, and also genuinely beautiful reality of parenting a child with additional needs when you're also managing your own nervous system.

Tracey talks about what "extra time" actually means in their house — and why it's not minutes, it's sometimes hours, or sometimes it means canceling everything and ordering Uber Eats. She shares how she and her husband use a simple battery-level check-in (think Brené Brown energy) to navigate days when capacity is low for one or both of them, and why pushing through doesn't help anyone when the tank is empty.

They also dig into Frankie's ARFID journey, including what it looked like before his PEG tube — and the beautiful shift Tracey has witnessed since he's been getting the nutrition his body needs. There's so much warmth in the way she talks about his stims and zoomies coming to life.

And then there's the social side — the invisible nature of neurodivergence, the comments from strangers in grocery stores, the friends who quietly drift away (Greer calls it "the silent slip away" and honestly, it's the most accurate phrase). Tracey and Greer both share how finding their people online changed everything — not a big circle, but a real one, where you don't have to mask or say you're fine when you're not.

This episode ends with something worth sitting with: it's not just awareness we're after anymore. It's acceptance. And that starts with meeting people where they are — with kindness, with dignity, and with the understanding that compassion doesn't cost a thing.

If you've been feeling lonely on this road, you are not alone. This community is out there, and it is waiting for you.

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If you've ever wished the people around you just got it — this episode is for you.

Greer sits down with Jennifer Kaufman, school principal, author, and grandmother to a grandson with autism, to talk about what it actually looks like when extended family shows up well — and what gets in the way.

Jennifer brings a rare perspective. She's spent her career in autism education, but when her own grandchild was diagnosed, she had to learn something different: how to set aside the expert hat and just be grandma. That shift wasn't automatic. It was intentional.

Together, Greer and Jennifer get honest about the expectation piece (the holiday table you imagined vs. the one that's actually yours), the advice trap that even well-meaning grandparents fall into, and what it really means to be a safe space — not just a safe person.

Plus: the small gestures that land hardest, why an offer feels so different from a request when you're already stretched thin, and a reminder worth holding onto — neurodiverse people aren't giving us a hard time. They're having a hard time.

📖 Jennifer's book is linked below.  Also mentioned: The Blue Envelope Program — a simple tool to help keep neurodivergent people safer during police encounters. Search "Blue Envelope Program" to find it in your area.

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What actually changes when a child with ADHD becomes a teenager?

In this episode, Carla names something so many families are living: as kids grow, the support systems drop (parents reminding, teachers prompting, schedules structuring)… but the expectations rise (more deadlines, longer projects, less supervision). And for ADHD brains—where the planning and regulation center is still developing—this creates a painful gap between what’s expected and what’s neurologically ready.

Carla reframes what parents often interpret as “lack of motivation” as something else entirely: a regulation + structure need. She explains why teens might say, “I know what to do, but I just can’t start,” and how that isn’t defiance—it’s overwhelm and executive overload.

You’ll also hear how constant reminders (even well-intentioned ones) can turn a teen’s name into correction… and how that can quietly erode self-esteem over time. Carla offers small, practical shifts that help teens feel less attacked and more supported—like pausing before speaking, lowering your voice, using “we” language, and asking “What’s the first step?” instead of “Why haven’t you started?”

This is a deeply grounding conversation if you’re parenting an ADHD teen and you’re tired of the power struggles. It’s not about letting everything slide—it’s about building the kind of structure that helps your teen’s brain quiet down, so they can access their skills… and keep their confidence intact.

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Have you ever asked your partner to pass you something and gotten a "why?" in return — and thought, wait, what just happened? If that moment felt strangely familiar, this episode might be for you.

Greer is getting honest about something she doesn't see talked about enough: what it's like to be married to someone who may have PDA (pathological demand avoidance). Not from a place of frustration or blame — but from a place of real, lived experience, ongoing learning, and genuine love for her husband and their marriage.

She walks through what PDA actually is, why it can look like defiance even when it isn't, and the two things that have made the biggest difference in her own relationship — neither of which she came to perfectly, or all at once.

What you'll hear in this episode:

Setting expectations before the moment matters — way before. Not at the airport. Not when you're already frustrated. Greer shares how pre-loading expectations (sometimes weeks in advance) has quietly lowered the demand pressure in her home and made daily life feel a little more like a team effort.

Bringing your partner into the solution — not as a strategy to "trick" them, but as a genuine invitation to be part of the answer. It doesn't always look the way you'd do it. And Greer's honest about the fact that she's still figuring this out (the missing lightbulb is proof).

She also talks about the importance of low-demand evenings, why adults with PDA are often holding so much together during the day, and why asking your partner what actually helps them is always worth trying.

This episode won't hand you a perfect system. But it will remind you that you're not alone in this — and that both of you are learning, even when it's hard.

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If you've ever felt like you're paddling your kayak alone while your partner watches from the shore — this episode is for you.

Harry Psaros is an autism advocate, author, and dad to Gus, who is graduating from Kent State University this week. Harry joins us to talk about something we don't hear enough of: what it actually looks like inside a dad's head when their child is diagnosed with autism — and why so many of them go quiet.

Harry gets real about his own journey. He wasn't the hero in the early days. His wife Michelle was. She saw the signs, pushed through dismissive pediatricians, and kept advocating while Harry wrestled with his ego and his fear. It wasn't until they sat in that car, driving home from Cleveland, that something shifted — and Harry made a choice to be all in.

In this conversation, you'll hear:

Why dads often go silent after a diagnosis (and what's actually happening underneath that silence), the two types of dads Harry sees in his counseling work — and how to reach both of them, what it looks like to build your village when you're new to all of this, how to protect your relationship when the stress of parenting a neurodivergent child starts pulling you apart, and why Harry believes his son Gus — a happy hippie who looks for the good in everyone — is not a scarlet letter. He's a blessing.

This episode is for the moms carrying the mental load. It's also for the dads who want to do better but don't know where to start. And it's for anyone who needs a reminder: your child was born out of love, and that love is still your compass.

Harry's message is warm, direct, and full of hard-won wisdom from two decades on this road. You're going to want to share this one.

The Wonder Project: Subscriber support makes more great content like I Gotta Ask with Annie F. Downs possible. The Wonder Project subscription on Prime Video is available in the U.S. for $8.99/month or $89.99/year after a 7-day free trial.Visit IGottaAsk.com to learn more!

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