One Broken Mom Hosted by Ameé Quiriconi

Back on One Broken Mom is a listener favorite, Wendy Behary. Wendy is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She is also the author of “Disarming the Narcissist…Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed” (New Harbinger Publications). Now translated in 15 languages. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them.  
Based on a listener question, Ameé and Wendy talk about how to co-parent with an abusive, manipulative, or narcissistic parent. In this episode you will hear:

• The four steps for handling a narcissistic ex 
• How dysfunction can impact our learned communication
• Understanding the nature of the narcissistic parent
• Knowing how to handle when a parent doesn't want to be in the child's life anymore
• Knowing how to deal with being gaslit by the narcissistic parent through the children
• What to do when worried that the children will adopt the narcissistic parent's worldview

Links from This Episode:

Disarming the Narcissist

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: https://susanstiffelman.com/narcissist-free-webinar/

 
Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

 Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, and more! 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

In this episode, Ameé speaks with Richa Badami, a personal transformation coach, author, and trainer about Richa's personal experience with becoming re-traumatized at work during at sales meeting.  The incident surprised her because it happened many years after she had undergone the healing work required due to her experience of being sexually abused as girl by her father.  However, at that time, her past was private and certainly out of awareness of her colleagues at her job.  And so during a sales meeting, in what was supposed to be a "motivating" comment, a male co-worker used misogynistic language that triggered Richa's deep feelings of shame around her abuse and things were never the same after.

The episode highlights the importance for organizations and leaders to see the need for trauma-informed practices in the workplace.

What you will hear on this episode: 

• Richa’s experience in the corporate world and the culture of the company she worked at
• Even years after events, trauma survivors still feel the impact of the events and can be re-triggered in surprising ways
• How insensitive, misogynistic, word choices and microaggressions can be triggers for trauma survivors
• How being triggered or re-traumatized can show up in our body through illness
• What could have been done at work that could have created better outcomes for Richa and the company’s culture
• How Richa and other non-White employees dealt with the constant gender and ethnic-based microaggressions allowed at her workplace

Resources:

https://www.richabadami.com/ 

Buy the New Book:

• Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide
• Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop
• Amazon- http://bit.ly/FearlessWomanAmazon
• Buy it on Audiobook.com

Need Help with Becoming a Trauma Informed Leader or Organization?
Contact Ameé today through her consulting practice website at https://www.activitygirl-llc.com/ or on LinkedIn

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

In this episode,  Ameé speaks again with Veronique Mead, a family physician and assistant professor who changed careers looking for a better understanding and more effective tools for working with chronic illness.

On her website www.chronicillnessstudies.com, she has collected and shared the abundance of new research showing how adverse life events increase risk for sensitivity to infections, toxins, and other environmental stressors that increase risk and trigger onset of chronic disease.

Because of the overwhelming effects from the events of 2020, Ameé wanted to revisit the links of health, illnesses, and trauma, with a focus on what can be done to improve outcomes and possibly even heal the psychological wounds that are triggering the physical ailments many people have. Using her own personal experience with rheumatoid arthritis, Ameé shares an update on the progression of her disease and the steps toward controlling and remission. 

In this episode you will also hear:

• How 2020 may have impacted many people
• The effects of trauma on the nervous system
• How mental health stigmas in culture and medicine prevented people from considering trauma as a source for their diseases
• The arguments against the connection of life experiences to diseases
• Effects of historical and systemic racism on health
• How diseases like Type-1 Diabetes, asthma, and others may be triggered by trauma in some people
• The influence of psychological or emotional neglect in people with chronic illnesses
• The relationship of CPTSD with poor health and chronic illness
• How certain therapies can help heal some chronic illnesses 

Resources & Links
https://chronicillnesstraumastudies.com/

https://chronicillnesstraumastudies.com/11-tools-healing-chronic-illness/

https://www.facebook.com/chronicillnesstraumastudies/

Buy the New Book:
Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Amazon- http://bit.ly/FearlessWomanAmazon

Buy it on Audiobook.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Elizabeth Cohen, therapist, repeat guest and author of a new book “Light on the Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You” talks with Ameé about deciding that divorce is the best option for a person or couple. 

In this episode, you will hear:

• How to know if divorce is the right option
• How to overcome the shame and guilt that comes from choosing to divorce
• What to do when other people try to shame us for our choice
• How codependency can impact how long we try to “save the relationship”

 

Links to Elizabeth & Her Book:

Give Away – Until May 20 – Click here for more info

Afterglow – Online Healing program with group support, private coaching, and online videos for people considering or going through divorce

Buy Light on the Other Side of Divorce on Amazon

 

Ameé’s Links

www.ameequiriconi.com 

Trauma Informed Leadership – www.activitygirl-llc.com 

The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business: What Every Woman Needs to Know to Be a Courageous, Authentic, and Unstoppable Entrepreneur

• Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide
• Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop
• Amazon- http://bit.ly/FearlessWomanAmazon

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Welcome back to another season of One Broken Mom! In this episode, Ameé brings everyone up to speed on the last several months and what is in store for the program and for the community in the upcoming year.

Links:
www.ameequiriconi.com
www.activitygirl-llc.com
www.thefearlesswomansguidetobusiness.com

KWU Presentations:
https://youtu.be/lcnX0h_qtlg
https://youtu.be/K0NELi8kWOs

Buy the New Book:
Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Amazon- http://bit.ly/FearlessWomanAmazon

Buy it on Audiobook.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

In this episode, Ameé speaks with Melissa Orlov is a marriage consultant, a top expert in how ADHD affects relationships, and an award-winning author.  She is the author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage, which was awarded "Best Psychological Book of 2010" by ForeWord Reviews.  Her latest book, The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD, with Nancie Kohlenberger won three book awards, including best psychology book of 2014.

Melissa has been writing and speaking about the topic since 2007, researching it since 2005.  She teaches couples, therapists, counselors, and coaches about how ADHD impacts relationships and offers private counseling to couples who wish to improve their ADHD-impacted relationships.  Her very popular couples seminar (by phone) has helped many struggling couples turn their relationships around.  Melissa blogs for Psychology Today, at this site, and guest writes for many others.   

In this episode, you will hear:

• What is ADHD & how is it diagnosed in adults
• The surprising ways ADHD affects marriages and relationships
• Rebuilding a relationship after ADHD has eroded it
• The couple's seminar that is available for help

Resources:
https://www.adhdmarriage.com/
The ADHD Effect on Marriage
The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

On this episode, Ameé has an amazing guest on the show. Dr. Carol Tavris's work as a writer, teacher, and lecturer has been devoted to educating the public about psychological science. Her book with Elliot Aronson, "Mistakes Were Made (But Not by ME): Why we justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions, and hurtful acts" (revised edition, 2015, and most recently updated in 2020 with a new chapter--"Dissonance, Democracy, and the Demagogue"), applies cognitive dissonance theory to a wide variety of topics, including politics, conflicts of interest, memory, the criminal justice system, police interrogation, the daycare sex-abuse epidemic, family quarrels, international conflicts, and business. 

She speaks to many people on the topics of self-justification; science and pseudoscience in psychology; gender and sexuality; critical thinking; and anger. And on this episode, Ameé and Carol talk about cognitive dissonance, what it is and why we ALL tend to justify our actions, behaviors and beliefs, no matter what anybody tells us. 

In this episode, you will hear: 

• A definition of Dissonance Theory and what it is 
• The Pyramid of Choice that pushes people further apart over time
• Identify our pre-packaged blind spots and biases, in particular naive realism, and privilege 
• Applying cognitive dissonance theory to all of the events of 2020, including Black Lives Matter, anti-racism, and the US Presidential elections
• How we can use social media differently if we know we really aren't going to change other people's minds & in fact, could be making matters worse 
• How we can become more skeptical and more aware of our biases so that we can be sure we are on the right side of the coin that is truth and dishonesty 

 Resources:

Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) Third Edition: Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Ameé has been an advocate for raising awareness about domestic violence, in part due to her personal experience with financial and emotional abuse.  While it seems help is just a phone call away for people in a domestic violence situation but there is also uncertainty of what happens when you do ask for help from strangers. And as we know from human behavior, we tend to chose the devil we know over the one we don’t. And so when we don’t understand how the resources work, we might be afraid to use them. 

That’s why this episode's guest is Ginny Ware, the Home Safe Program Director from New Beginnings – a Seattle area organization with a mission to empower survivors of domestic violence and to raise community aware and actions to end it. Ginny shares how these agencies and talks about what to expect when you contact them for help so that hopefully fewer people will be afraid to use them to help leave an abusive situation. 

In this episode, you will hear:

• Is there a threshold for when a person may reach out to get help with there situation
• What has changed in the service delivery for agencies like this during COVID
• Overview of the services available for people in a domestic violence situation
• What happens when someone calls the 24-hour helpline
• How can people support organizations like this
• How can domestic and gender-based violence be eliminated in our communities

Resources

New Beginnings Website 24-hour Help Line: 206.522.9472
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1.800.799.7233
Northwest Justice Project

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

In this episode, Ameé speaks with returning guest, Philadelphia based therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw.

Liz has her own practice called A Better Life Therapy and specializes in working with couples around a variety of topics such as relationship issues, infidelity, divorce, intimacy and sexual issues, premarital counseling, and breakups. 

Ameé reached out to her to talk about people-pleasing. Having had some personal and professional experiences with people who went out of their way to over-commit themselves, never speak up and say how they really felt, and then watched them spiral into balls of anxiety, stress and depression as a result, Ameé wanted to find out more about why people-please in the first place.

In this episode, you will hear:

• The definition of people-pleasing
• The opposite of people-pleasing
• Common traits and behaviors of people-pleasers
• How attachment styles impact our tendencies to say No or Yes to people
• The particular dangers for people-pleasers and abusive relationships

Resources:
Liz's Website: https://abetterlifetherapy.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Recently, the U.S. Department of Justice decided to drop the appeal on a 2018 Detroit ruling that overturned the federal ban on Female Genital Mutilation (FGM).  

For girls at risk of FGM, this federal ruling has put them in great jeopardy because it sent a signal to supporters of FGM that the practice is allowed, and the violence against girls, mostly around 7-8 years old in age continues. Therefore, it’s up to the states to outlaw the practice. 

What is female genital mutilation? Why is it practiced? How prevalent is it really? 

FGM is a human rights issue and is a form of gender-based violence and sexual violence against children. And it does not just happen in “other countries” or specific religions. In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control, an estimated 513,000 women and girls have undergone or are at risk of FGM in the United States, including girls in families of both Christian and Muslim faiths. Survivors of this horrifying practice rarely come forward due to the taboo nature of the practice and the backlash survivors endure at the hands of their own family and community. The practice is not about religion but about upholding patriarchy and is misogynistic control over women and girls. 

On this episode, Ameé speaks with Maryum Saifee, a former U.S. Diplomat, FGM survivor and advocate who is speaking out against the practice of female genital mutilation. And in her words, FGM is simply child sexual assault with a sharp object and conversations need to be had to normalize talking about it so that the practice can be stopped.

Sign the Petition to make Female Genital Mutilation illegal in Washington State:

https://www.change.org/p/washington-state-legislators-female-genital-mutilation-is-an-american-issue-states-need-to-protect-girls-and-ban-fgm

 

Resources:

Sahiyo: https://sahiyo.com/2020/02/05/voices-series-survivors-are-more-than-their-stories/

US Network to End FGM/C - https://endfgmnetwork.org/

Dahlia Project: http://www.dahliaproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/1924_Female_Genital_Trauma_Report_Web.pdf

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com