Get Naked with Dr. Kate

What happens when a survivor's fight for safety is labeled a crime? In this powerful and essential episode, Dr. Kate Balestrieri sits down with investigative journalist Justine van der Leun to explore the harrowing reality of "criminalized survival." Justine spent years inside prisons, listening to women who killed, maimed, or broke the law, not because they were monsters, but because they were survivors who ran out of options.

Her book, Unreasonable Women, tells the unforgettable stories of these women, revealing how the legal system often erases their histories of abuse and paints them as cold-blooded perpetrators instead of victims of intimate partner violence. In this conversation, Justine and Dr. Kate discuss the thin, blurry line between victim and perpetrator, the sexist and racist tropes used to prosecute women, and the profound lack of support that sets survivors up for failure.

This isn't just their story; it's a stark examination of who society allows to be violent and who is expected to endure it. Tune in for a moving conversation that will change the way you see justice, survival, and the women the system has deemed "unreasonable."

Key Topics Discussed:

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Today’s video contains a guest appearance from Laura Danger, both an educator as well as an advocate for domestic equity. In today’s video, Dr. Kate Balestrieri and Laura Danger explore relationship inequity, emotional and domestic labor, and how mismatched definitions of “trying” create friction, resentment, and loss of desire. They cover various themes surrounding relationships such as: 

They collaborate on what it means to have a partner that weaponizes incompetence and how unresolved could corrupt the foundation of relationships.

00:49 Podcast Return and New Book

01:36 Meet Laura Danger

02:39 Why Equity Becomes Conflict

04:59 Listener Question Bare Minimum Partner

05:58 Good Faith Effort vs Incompetence

08:22 Cant vs Wont and Defensiveness

12:42 Mental Health and Capacity in Couples

16:53 Boundaries and Resentment Spiral

21:53 The NAG Paradox Explained

22:25 Honey Do Trap

23:21 Power Imbalance Loop

24:53 New Parent Resentment

27:42 Repair With Check Ins

29:17 Fair Play Framework

30:35 Regulating Conflict Cycles

35:27 Anger As Information

42:54 Somatic Anger Cues

44:37 Closing And Resources

About Laura Danger:

Laura Danger, is an educator, author, facilitator, and advocate for domestic equity and equal distribution of the mental load. She is a prominent voice, who popularized topics regarding care culture and fostering equitable dynamics within a relationship.

Instagram & TikTok: @thatdarnchat

Website: www.lauradanger.com

Book: No More Mediocre https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593474783/?bestFormat=true&k=no%20more%20mediocre&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-bk-ww_k0_1_16_de&crid=35U7ZEMYGXUV9&sprefix=no%20more%20mediocre

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When a child discloses sexual abuse, the immediate focus is understandably on the survivor's healing. But what happens to the parents in the aftermath - specifically, to their romantic and sexual relationship?

In this episode, Dr. Kate Balestrieri speaks with Dr. Imani Reynolds, a clinician at Modern Intimacy, whose pioneering research explores the hidden third relationship often overlooked in the healing process: the one between the parents.

Dr. Reynolds’ work reveals the profound and often invisible impact that a child's abuse can have on a parent’s own sexuality, desire, and intimacy with their partner. They discuss the jarring experience of secondary traumatic stress, how intrusive thoughts can alter sexual fantasy and desire, and how partners often react and cope in vastly different ways, creating a new set of challenges for the relationship.

This conversation offers a vital and compassionate look at how the entire family system is affected and provides a crucial perspective on the importance of parents addressing their own well-being.

Key Themes Include:

For more support, schedule a complimentary consultation, to explore how working with a clinician at Modern Intimacy might help.

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Share it with a friend or partner who might need to hear this vital perspective. We want to hear from you!

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We often think of intimacy as the meeting of minds and bodies, but what happens when your emotions—frustration, anxiety, or shame—hijack the moment? In this episode, Dr. Kate Balestrieri sits down with psychologist and author Dr. Ryan Martin to explore the critical link between emotional regulation and relational health.

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Think deepfakes are just a privacy issue? Think again.

We are conditioned to see sexual deepfakes as a crime against an individual’s reputation. But what if they are actually a weapon of mass control? 

In this episode, Dr. Kate Balestrieri sits down with author Soraya Chemaly to blow the lid off the mainstream narrative. They argue that these digital violations aren't just about consent. 

But in fact, they are stochastic terrorism: a systematic, male-supremacist tool designed to police women’s behavior through sheer terror. 

They dive into the ugly underbelly of the "boy crisis," the tech industry’s victim-blaming band-aids, and why changing the way we think about sex and equality is the only armor that actually works against imposed sexualization. 

If you’ve ever felt like the world is getting more dangerous for everyone online, this conversation will give you the language to understand why—and the tools to fight back.

For more information about Soraya Chemaly, including all of her books and social media, visit https://www.sorayachemaly.com

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Dr. Kate Balestrieri interviews University of Washington professor Dr. Nicole McNichols who has taught “The Diversity of Human Sexuality” for about 15 years. They discuss McNichols’ book, “You Could Be Having Better Sex,” and answer a listener who wants to improve an already good sex life.

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How do you embrace sex positivity if you grew up surrounded by social messaging filled with shame? Dr. Tara is ready to help you answer this question, and share her journey to sex positivity as well!

This week on Get Naked, the doctors are in session – Dr. Kate and Dr. Tara, who will be on 90 Day Fiancé, sit down to discuss:

• First sexual experiences

• Defining sex positivity

• Unpacking the judgement and backlash that sex positive individuals face (and why)

• The macro- and micro-communications about sex

and so much more!

Dr. Tara is the internet's resident sex expert for GenZennials, on a mission to show that women can at once be sexual, intellectual, and powerful. She is a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication, and quantitative research at California State University Fullerton, an award-winning researcher, the TV host of Celebs Go Dating, an award-winning sex researcher, a TEDx speaker, host of the Luvbites by Dr. Tara podcast, and an in-demand sex and relationship coach based in Los Angeles.

On TikTok, Dr. Tara is sharing bite-sized nuggets of wisdom to an audience eager to step into their power in sex, life, and beyond. Translation: she's making some serious moves destigmatizing sex, and having a blast while doing it.

Sponsor:

Lume - use code GETNAKED for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com

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In this enlightening episode of "Get Naked with Dr. Kate," we welcome Pamela Madsen, the visionary behind Back to the Body. Together, Dr. Kate and Pamela dive deep into the world of embodied sexuality, desire, and vulnerability. Pamela shares how women can reclaim their pleasure and sovereignty by embracing their eroticism and shedding the shame that often surrounds sexual exploration. This conversation touches on the significance of immersive practices, the challenges of arousal imprints, and how sexual healing transcends the bedroom to affect all areas of life. Tune in for an empowering discussion that will leave you inspired to reconnect with your body and embrace your authentic desires.

For more information about Pamela Madsen, you can find her here:

Website: https://backtothebody.org

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepamelamadsen/

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In this episode, Dr. Kate and renowned author, Soraya Chemaly, explore the misconceptions and dangers of resilience, highlighting the lack of social care and the value of care in society, highlighter in her new book: The Resilience Myth: New Thinking on Grit, Strength, and Growth After Trauma.

Some of the key points include:

- Resilience can be misconstrued and work against us when there is a lack of social care and value for care in society.

- The concept of resilience has become detached from science and has proliferated as an ideology.

- The science of resilience has biases and limitations, particularly in relation to gender and vulnerable populations.

- Healing and resilience are not solely individual endeavors, but require community, relationships, and reflection.

- Traditional notions of masculinity can hinder resilience and adaptability to change.

- The idea of bouncing back to a pre-trauma state is a myth, and healing involves assimilating experiences and evolving as individuals. Rigid notions of masculinity can be harmful and lead to a lack of resilience.

- Marginalized communities may overcompensate in one area to compensate for marginalization in another.

- Cultivating an embodied awareness of our environments is important for resilience.

- Resilience should be viewed from a relational perspective, emphasizing interconnectedness.

--

Soraya Chemaly is a renowned journalist, activist, and author. Her work focuses on the words we use, the images we make, and how to act to build a better world. Her work will make you think, and give you plenty to talk about!

Get Soraya Chemaly's books here:

The Resilience Myth: New Thinking on Grit, Strength, and Growth After Trauma

Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger

Follow Soraya Chemaly:

Instagram: @rageandresilience

Website: https://www.sorayachemaly.com

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In this episode, Dr. Kate Balestrieri and Brooke Brownlee, APCC (Clinical Associate at Modern Intimacy) discuss a listener question, about how to navigate a partner's inflation fetish.

They address questions about what an inflation fetish involves, how to ensure safety during activities, and how to support a partner's interests without feeling uncomfortable. They also debunk myths surrounding inflation fetishes and provide resources for further exploration.

Takeaways

- It is common for partners to have mismatched sexual interests, and it is important to approach these differences with curiosity and support.

- Engaging in inflation activities can be safe as long as there is consent, communication, and awareness of potential risks.

- Supporting a partner's inflation fetish does not require personal arousal, but rather a willingness to understand and participate in a way that feels authentic.

- Myths surrounding inflation fetishes, such as associations with child attraction, should be debunked to promote understanding and acceptance.

- Self-exploration, open communication, and seeking resources can help navigate and introduce inflation fetishes into the bedroom.

Keywords

#inflation #inflationfetish #partnership #partnersupport #safety #resources

Read More:

What Does It Mean to Have an Inflation Fetish? by Brooke Brownlee, APCC

https://www.modernintimacy.com/what-does-it-mean-to-have-an-inflation-fetish/

The Juicy Round World of Blueberry Porn, by Samantha Cole, Vice

https://www.vice.com/en/article/wjmjqw/the-juicy-round-world-of-blueberry-porn

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