When you think of intimacy, what comes to mind?

Maybe you think about a passionate kiss, or getting frisky with a partner in the bedroom.

But what if we told you there were other ways to cultivate intimacy that didn't involve sex? 

This week, we are revisiting a community favorite on Get Naked with Dr. Kate, where Dr. Kate explores the multifaceted definitions of intimacy with Doc Erica Holmes.

The two unpack a holistic definition of intimacy, walk listeners through a few activities that can help couples connect, and explore how we as a society can make our way to valuing true intimacy.

Doc Erica is a licensed clinical psychologist, educator, trainer, community consultant and author in the greater Los Angeles area. Be sure to check out Erica's latest book, Intimacy Sex: 180 Activities to Help Couples Connect.

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Original episode air date: August 8, 2023

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What kind of sex is worth wanting? Does your sex life inevitably suffer in longterm relationships?

On this week's episode, sex educator, researcher, and renowned author of "Come As You Are" Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. joins Dr. Kate to answer these questions. Together, they discuss the genesis of Emily's latest book "Come Together", and the reality of how our sex lives change in longterm partnerships.

They discuss:

• The popular rhetoric we hear about how sex works in longterm relationships, including the conversations around "keeping the spark alive"

• The importance of pleasure, authenticity, and vulnerability when it comes to desire in longterm partnerships

• Why it is so important to co-create an erotic context with a partner

• Why longterm partners get stuck in the cycle of having the same sex over and over

• Asking yourself: What kind of sex is WORTH wanting?

and so much more.

Emily Nagoski is the New York Times bestselling, award-winning author of Come as You Are and co-author, with her sister, Amelia, of Burnout. She combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She lives in Massachusetts with two dogs, a cat, and a cartoonist!

You can order Emily's latest book "Come Together" here.

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We are revisiting an audience favorite this week!

Heather Shannon joins Dr. Kate to talk about Hot Wifing and Cuckolding kinks, including what these terms mean, unpacking the themes of humiliation, desire, power and pride, and understanding how it can be practiced in heterosexual and queer relationships.

They discuss:

• The differences between cuckholding vs. hot wifery

• The role of humilation

• How to begin this conversation with a partner if you're curious about exploring

• Best practices for aftercare, including discussing the experience with one another

& so much more!

Heather Shannon is a Certified Sex Therapist and Host of the top-ranked “Ask A Sex Therapist” podcast. With over 12 years in private practice, Heather helps queer, kinky and/or non-monogamous people to explore who they are as sexual beings and how they want to show up in their relationships.

Heather has been featured in publications such as Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health and Self Magazine as well as on podcasts including The Horny Housewife and Curious Girl Diaries. She is a sex and relationship expert for the Peanut app, which serves 2.5M women throughout all stages of life.

Original episode air date: August 15, 2023

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What does it mean to be with someone who exhibits sexual narcissism?

On this week’s episode, Dr. Kate is talking all about sexual narcissism – what it looks like, how it differs from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and best practices for navigating relationships with someone who exhibits signs.

Dr. Kate had the pleasure of sitting down with Keresse Thompson, a seasoned therapist specializing in toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, borderline personality disorder, and empaths, to unpack this topic.

They discuss:

• How sexual narcissism may present itself

• The subtle ways covert narcissism can occur

• The role of baiting and love bombing

• Different ways an individual can counterbalance their own needs not being met in relationship

And so much more.

This conversation is designed to help you to recognize if you are with someone who is sexually narcissistic, and offer tools on how to move through it while maintaining autonomy.

If you want to schedule a free 30-minute consultation and get connected with a coach/clinician at Modern Intimacy, head to www.modernintimacy.com/connect.

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We have all been through it and break-ups are not easy. Dr. Kate and Rachel discuss what leads up to and how to finesse a break-up, including the potential signs that can indicate a parting of ways is inevitable. They also outline the range of feelings you can expect – from sadness and anger to joy and relief –no one is exactly the same. Ultimately, healing involves trusting yourself again and trusting your choices as you move on, and giving yourself grace. Rachel Overvoll is a Somatic Sex and Intimacy Coach and published author of Finding Feminism. Using her credentials from the Somatica Institute and Kinsey Institute, she works through the mediums of embodiment and self - attunement to help clients step into the power of an authentic and pleasure centered life. Rachel is the author of The Breakup Journal, exercises to help you through a break-up.

Email your questions to: [email protected]

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The Playboy Mansion has developed itself as a landmark of excess and pleasure in American culture – but what happens behind its gilded doors? For Crystal Hefner, life at the mansion wasn’t always the glitz and glamor portrayed in the media.

You may know Crystal as the third (and last) wife of Hugh Hefner – but she is so much more than the man she married, and she’s ready to take back her narrative. On this episode of Get Naked with Dr. Kate, we discuss:

* The impact of losing oneself in a relationship, and the disorientation this causes when it ends

* The realities of living in the Playboy mansion (and the lack of privacy it granted)

* What messages she would like to send to the young women who consume Playboy content

It is a poignant, vulnerable conversation around finding oneself in the wake of a tumultuous and controlling relationship – with a man and with an entire franchise that depends on the male gaze.

Make sure to check out Crystal’s latest book, ONLY SAY GOOD THINGS: SURVIVING PLAYBOY AND FINDING MYSELF to hear her story directly from her.

--

Crystal Hefner is a world-renowned model, advocate, entrepreneur, a former Playboy Playmate and author of ONLY SAY GOOD THINGS: SURVIVING PLAYBOY AND FINDING MYSELF. She now works to bring awareness to issues she is passionate about, speaking out on social media to her 10 million followers about body image, objectification, and beauty standards in the media. 

____________________________________ 

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 Dr. Kate and Rachel are talking today about Social media and dating, and how use of social media can effect real connection and intimacy. Do you find yourself watching a movie or having dinner with your partner and look over to see him/her looking at their phone? There is a large disconnect when one partner is distracted, and this can cause a ripple effect in the relationship; including a deterrent and turn-off to real intimacy and sexual intimacy. They also talk about how to bring up discussions of boundaries and guidelines with use of social media that is comfortable for both people as well as red flags to watch for in your partner’s social media use.

Dr. Rachel Needle is a Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist in private practice and the founder and executive director of the Whole Health Psychological Center. She has been featured in a number of popular magazines such as Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, and Shape.

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Dr. Kate talks with Tawny about Tawny’s journey to Sobriety and the effects of being present in life, dating and even enjoying sex when not drinking alcohol. They also talk about the physical and emotional aspects of sobriety. Dr. Kate and Tawny talk about ways to a more present life without relying on alcohol but also talk honestly on some of the losses along the way. You will also hear about booze-free date ideas, conversation prompts with a partner, good sex and that the idea of “slowing it down” is truly ok.

Tawny reminds us that “you don’t need to hit rock-bottom to decide to stop drinking too much” and you don’t have be sober to investigate how your relationship with alcohol or drugs is affecting your intimacy.

Tawny Lara is an advice columnist better known as “The Sober Sexpert” and author of Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze. She co-hosts the podcast, Recovery Rocks. She also writes a weekly advice column, Beyond Liquid Courage, about all things sober dating and relationships.

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Dr. Kate and Aaron talk about how men benefit from Platonic Touch with other men including physical touch as well as energetic presence, song, movement, nature connection, and deep listening. Aaron is committed to interrupting the Chronically UnderTouched trauma story and be a part of the collective healing of closeness. It’s a movement supporting People of the Global Majority — people of color — to access healthy, nourishing, platonic touch in a culture that, in the United States, denies it at every turn. Tender touch means seeing people as full human beings. It is the antidote to the invention of The Black Brute archetype. Aaron Johnson is a teacher of closeness, a consultant and activist. He has made a lifelong commitment to end racism. He uses intimacy and closeness as a primary means to that end.

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Dr. Kate talks with Christene about Asian Americans and their cultural and mental attitudes towards relationships and sex as seen first hand by Christene growing up in this culture.  She says there is almost always a sense of shame or guilt whether talking about sex, having sex, seeking therapy, dating before marriage, etc. and the weight of that shame can be seen as a betrayal to the culture historically and present day, as well as to the family. This overall taboo causes multiple problems for the individual as they try to balance what they want in life versus what they think they should do for the family.

Christene works as a BIPOC AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, IITAP Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Christene specializes in the treatment of sex-related issues and compulsive sexual behavior. 

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