One Broken Mom Hosted by Ameé Quiriconi

Today’s episode comes from a listener to the show who wrote to Ameé ask if she had any resources for men who have been abused by their mothers. He then shared that he has been researching on his own and can’t find anything on the topic. During her research, Ameé found today’s guest, Dr. Joe Kort.  Joe is a Detroit area-based Psychotherapist, life coach, author, and podcaster who specializes in tackling the taboo as well as the norms about our sexual health.

Visit www.ameequiriconi to subscribe or ask a question.

In this episode, you will hear: 

• The taboos and societal messages responsible for the lack of information and resources for survivors of mother-son incest 
• Understanding how women can tip the scales and assault men or their sons 
• Understanding the differences between covert and overt abuse
• How to make room in society for men to share their abuse experiences
• The resources available for men who have been abused by women and/or their mothers

Resources: 

Mother-Son Incest: The Unthinkable Broken Taboo, An Overview of Findings by Hani Miletski

The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health

http://joekort.com/

https://smartsexsmartlove.com/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-the-erotic-code/201704/mommy-nearest?#_=_

https://malesurvivor.org/index.php

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

In the episode, Ameé speaks with return guest, Dr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical Psychologist and the author of the book Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression. 

In this episode, you will hear:

• How Margaret began to link perfectionism with depression and not anxiety
• The links between perfectionism and suicide
• The definition of depression 
• Is all perfectionism depression 
• The difference between having a sense of pride and feelings of accomplishment around being successful and achievements versus something unhealthy 
• The Five Stage Process for healing & addressing PHD 

Resources:

I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrance Real

Perfectionism: A Relational Approach to Conceptualization, Assessment, and Treatment Paul L. Hewitt (Author), Gordon L. Flett (Author), Samuel F. Mikail (Author) 

www.drmargaretrutherford.com

The SelfWork Podcast

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

In Part 2, Ameé continues her conversation with Craig Miller, an award-winner author, speaker and advocate for suicide awareness and prevention.  

After self-publishing his memoir, This is How it Feels, in July of 2012, Craig joined The Massachusetts Coalition for Suicide Prevention and began speaking out about his suicide attempt and his battles with mental health issues. Since then, he has shared his story with hundreds of people, speaking at bookstores, charity events, and public events as well as at The Massachusetts Suicide Prevention Conference. He has also written blogs for The American Association of Suicidology’s Attempt Survivor Blog. Most recently, he has joined Growing Out of Darkness as the organization’s Program Director. 

Craig’s insight into his mental health issues and the steps he took to overcome them has not only helped those who also struggle, but it has provided valuable information to professionals in the mental health field as well. In January, 2013 Craig gave a filmed interview where he talks in depth about these areas. This interview has been used in a training program for mental health clinicians and is planned to be rolled out nationwide. He is also going to be featured in an upcoming document called “The ‘S’ Word” that aims to change the landscape of suicide prevention and awareness. 

In this episode, you will hear:

• The suicide of his own mother in 2019
• When suicide conversations should begin with children
• Programs he's involved with in suicide prevention and awareness

 

Resources:

Amazon link for book “This is How it Feels” 

Craig’s Website

https://theswordmovie.com/ Documentary

Growing Out of Darkness Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Ameé speaks with Craig Miller, an award-winner author, speaker and advocate for suicide awareness and prevention.  

After self-publishing his memoir, This is How it Feels, in July of 2012, Craig joined The Massachusetts Coalition for Suicide Prevention and began speaking out about his suicide attempt and his battles with mental health issues. Since then, he has shared his story with hundreds of people, speaking at bookstores, charity events, and public events as well as at The Massachusetts Suicide Prevention Conference. He has also written blogs for The American Association of Suicidology’s Attempt Survivor Blog. Most recently, he has joined Growing Out of Darkness as the organization’s Program Director. 

Craig’s insight into his mental health issues and the steps he took to overcome them has not only helped those who also struggle, but it has provided valuable information to professionals in the mental health field as well. In January, 2013 Craig gave a filmed interview where he talks in depth about these areas. This interview has been used in a training program for mental health clinicians and is planned to be rolled out nationwide. He is also going to be featured in an upcoming document called “The ‘S’ Word” that aims to change the landscape of suicide prevention and awareness. 

In this episode, you will hear:

• Craig’s personal story of mental illness and OCD
• Why as a child, he kept his ‘secret’
• His suicide attempt
• What changed that saved his life

 

Resources:

Amazon link for book “This is How it Feels” 

Craig’s Website

https://theswordmovie.com/ Documentary

Growing Out of Darkness Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Marriage vows are being tested worldwide as we are in the midst of a global pandemic that has forced billions of people to stay home. In addition, in the US, we are at 30 million people, unemployed and millions of children trying to school from home by parents emotionally unequipped to take on a burden while they themselves are trying to make sense of their own worlds, fears and concerns. 

Right now – many people are seeing perhaps where their greatest strengths are in their partners as well as their weaknesses. 

People are probably questioning their choices and wondering what to do next once the world re-opens. 

The traditional marriage vows we are all familiar with date back to the Book of Common Prayer, originally printed in 1549 which say 

"to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death us depart." 

But how would we know if this person your are dating or married to is really the one, for example, you can be locked up in a house with for two to three months during a pandemic? 

That’s why Ameé has back on today Dr. Stan Tatkin – couples expert and author of many books including Wired For Love and Wired for Dating to talk about his book We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love.  

In this episode, you will hear: 

• How our unseen fears may be impacting our relationship
• How attachment affects our style of relating to one another
• How to “Sherlock” any potential candidates
• Why a “mission statement” is important for a couple or a person

 

Resources:

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure

Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate

We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love  

Dr. Stan Tatkin’s Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Returning to the show is Anna Runkle, the creator of Crappy Childhood Fairy, an online resource for understanding and healing from CPTSD related to chronic childhood experiences. In Season Two, we learned about Anna and her work after a listener wrote in and recommended her processes. As a childhood trauma survivor, Anna brings a perspective from the trenches and methodology that has helped her for over twenty years slow the spinning of the hamster wheel in her head as well as for others. In this episode, Ameé and Anna talk about how the current worldwide climate of the pandemic can be impacting those who have CPTSD and introduces some strategies for managing it. 

Recorded on the morning of May 25, 2020, we both had no idea of what was yet to come later that day and the days following with the death of George Floyd, and thought the COVID-19 situation would be the most significant event for people to deal with. 

In this episode, you will hear:

• The distinction between PTSD and CPTSD
• The relationship of CPTSD and health disorders
• What are emotional flashbacks
• Why we must be accountable for understanding our symptoms and guiding our own healing
• How healing is about becoming lucid of our experiences and what is happening with us in the moment
• Anna’s process for healing and living with CPTSD  

 

Resources: 

https://crappychildhoodfairy.com/

https://courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice

The Crappy Childhood Fairy on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCZlDCbFTqHkzV_rUP4V5bg

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

First, yes, it was confirmed that "unpeaceful" is a real word. In this episode, Ameé brings back to the show Dr. Laura Markham, creator of Aha! Parenting, therapist, coach, and author of "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids." Originally the plan was to have a conversation about the challenges of parenting children during a worldwide pandemic, but then with the brutal death of George Floyd on May 25 in Minneapolis, Minnesota, the whole country was thrust into the largest civil rights movement in human history. Recorded on June 3, 2020, Ameé then asked Laura to talk with her about parenting our kids and ourselves through social justice, anti-racism, and how to prepare for the upcoming Presidential elections, regardless of political affiliations. 

In this episode, you will hear:

• What do when a parent’s stresses are being activated or re-traumatized
• What are the age-appropriate discussions to have with kids about race & racism?
• What are good strategies for hiding our stresses from our kids in ways that don’t activate them but in a way that allows for their emotional development?
• What is okay for our kids to see and what can be harmful or activating for children? 
• Teaching our kids Media Literacy
• How to teach kids about fairness, equality, racism and activism

Resources:
Dr. Laura Markham's Website

Article mentioned in the episode:
https://www.ahaparenting.com/blog/talking-with-children-about-racism-police-brutality-and-protests

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

In this episode, Ameé speaks with me Fritzi Horstman. She is the Founder and Executive Director of Compassion Prison Project.  Fritzi is a Grammy-award winning producer for her work on “The Defiant Ones”, has been a producer and post-producer on dozens of television projects and documentaries and has directed several films. 

Recorded 10 days before the death of George Floyd, a Minnesota man killed by police officers, that sparked the largest civil rights movement in human history, Fritzi and Ameé discussed the inequities and belief systems in the judicial systems that affect men and women with severe childhood traumas. 

The Compassion Prison Project’s objectives are to raise the awareness of how many incarcerated people are traumatized humans and to create programs that allow all communities to heal. 

In this episode, you will hear:

• Fritzi’s journey from Hollywood film production to starting this program
• Stories of the men in prisons participating in the Compassion Prison Project
• The impacts of trauma on the men and women who commit crimes
• How victims of crimes are ignored, and their restoration is necessary

Resources:

Compassion Prison Project Website

Donate to the Compassion Prison Project HERE

Take the ACE Test HERE

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

This is the full episode of the interview with Wendy Behary in March. The first 20 minutes is a repeat for anyone who listed to the Special COVID Episode with her.

Back on the show is Wendy Behary, the author of Disarming the Narcissist and frequent guest who shares her expertise on narcissistic personality disorder and the impacts on relationships. 

Today Ameé talks with Wendy about how our own ego and dysfunction plays out in our business relationships as well. While we can see this usually in leadership, globally as well as locally,  people unaware of their own unrelenting drives or wounds can be in any position in organizations that are not necessarily in leadership or management. And these people can actually be ourselves. 

In this episode, you will hear:

• Why does the business/work environment trigger us differently than at home?
• How can we uncover some of our survival modes we play out at work? 
• How is coaching effective at helping us grow? 
• How can organizations and leaders handle the re-introduction of people back to work?

 

References:

Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior and Feel Great Again

Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Is it always so wrong to have a sense of pride for you own achievements? Or to feel confident in your skills and abilities? How about selfies? Does posting a selfie instantly make you a Narcissist? And are Narcissists all people who got participation awards and were told they were amazing too many times when they didn’t deserve it? 

The history of narcissism in the field of psychology may surprise you when you learn how the definition has shifted over the past 100 years. What is also surprising is that narcissism can, in fact, be healthy. 

In this episode, Ameé speaks with best-selling author Dr. Craig Malkin about his work in the field of narcissism and his efforts to shift how narcissism is viewed and defined. His 2015 book, Rethinking Narcissism, was the first book on the topic that Ameé bought as she was coming to terms with her understanding of her own self-awareness and belief she was a “magnet” for narcissists. 

Dr. Craig Malkin is Lecturer in Psychology for Harvard Medical School and licensed psychologist with over two decades of experience in helping couples, individuals, and families. His research on the role of relationships in psychological growth has been published in peer-reviewed journals, and PsychologyToday.com has called his blog Romance Redux “an essential read.” He is also a frequent contributor to Huffington Post.

Dr. Malkin’s advice and insights on a wide range of topics within his areas of expertise have been featured in major national and international on-line and print media magazines and newspapers, including Match.com’s Happen Magazine, Marie Claire, and Women’s Health, as well as popular TV and radio news shows.

This episode will cover:

• The history of narcissism and the tools to identify it
• What Healthy Narcissism is and is not
• The 3 Stop Signs for when a relationship needs to be ended 
• How to tell if assertiveness, pride and confidence is healthy or not

 

Resources

Click Here to Buy the Book Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Special 

http://www.drcraigmalkin.com/

Click Here to Take the Narcissism Test

Dr. Craig Malkin’s YouTube Channel

Dr. Craig on Twitter

Dr. Craig on Facebook 

https://www.ameequiriconi.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com