Midlife with Brooke

Patriarchy in the Church-A conversation with Ben Austin


Listen Later

In This Episode, You’ll Hear
  1. Why Ben wanted to talk about patriarchy—and how he defines it simply as a power structure where major decisions are mostly made by men
  2. Ben’s Church experience growing up in North Carolina as a religious minority (and how that shaped his perspective)
  3. How COVID-era mission leadership changes (including sister “assistants” in the mission office) became a powerful example of what can change
  4. Brooke’s perspective: how her personal experience has been shaped by respectful men, while still recognizing many women feel undermined or overlooked
  5. The difference between tradition and actual doctrine/handbook requirements—and why questioning patterns matters
  6. Everyday examples of small but meaningful shifts (who chooses prayers at home, who speaks last, who gets visibility, who gets credit)
  7. How Ben navigates cognitive dissonance and stays committed to the Church through relationships, community, and the teachings of Jesus Christ
  8. Brooke’s story about her daughter asking, “Why aren’t there women in the scriptures?” and why Brooke looks to Jesus to understand God’s love for women

Key Takeaways
  1. Questions don’t disqualify you. Both Brooke and Ben model that faith can include wrestling, curiosity, and ongoing learning.
  2. Change often starts locally. Families, wards, and leaders can shift culture through small decisions that communicate value and inclusion.
  3. Jesus’s example matters. When Brooke feels discouraged about women being overlooked, she returns to how Jesus treated women—with attention, dignity, and honor.


Questions This Episode Might Spark for You
  1. Where do I see “default patterns” in my home or Church culture that I’ve never questioned?
  2. How do I respond when someone experiences the Church differently than I do?
  3. In what ways can I help my daughter/son feel more seen and respected—even when I don’t fully understand their concerns?
  4. What small changes could we make in our family or ward that would communicate: “Your voice matters here”?

Practical “Try This” After You Listen
  1. At home: Rotate who calls on prayers, who leads family discussions, who makes decisions about gatherings.
  2. In conversation: Ask your young adult: “What feels encouraging at church? What feels discouraging?” and listen without trying to fix it.

About the Guest: Ben Austin

Ben is a young adult Church member who grew up in North Carolina, served in the Stockholm Sweden Mission during COVID, attended BYU, and returned home where he found renewed belonging in a faith community that made space for thoughtful questions. He currently participates actively in a YSA congregation and serves in leadership while continuing to wrestle with big topics—honestly and faithfully.

Connect & Next Steps

If this conversation brought something up for you—curiosity, discomfort, hope, or even grief—consider sharing it with someone you trust. These are tender topics, and they’re also the kinds of conversations that help families stay connected across generations.

Stay Connected With Brooke

Get weekly encouragement, emotional wellness tools, and podcast extras:

Join the Newsletter:

https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8

Or email me at [email protected]

Learn More

Coaching, resources, and offerings for midlife women:

www.brookeoniki.com

Bonus for Listeners

Two private bonus podcast episodes created just for women in midlife:

  1. Menopause Explained
  2. Enjoying Sex in Midlife

Listen here:

https://www.subscribepage.com/summitadd

Want Personalized Support?

Schedule a free one-on-one coaching session with Brooke:

https://calendly.com/brookeoniki/life-coaching-session-with-brooke-oniki

If you found this helpful, please share the episode or leave a review so more parents can find these tools.

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Midlife with BrookeBy Brooke Oniki

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