"We can move from being a reactor to creator. Creators think of the future and make it start happening today. Reactors are just dealing with the crisis at hand, not progressing, feeling stuck, feeling like life is unfair. Reactors are people-pleasing, reacting to everything said, constantly worrying about how to win the approval of others. That’s the trouble with people-pleasing: You are always reacting. We think we are making others happy, but we despise ourselves and resent others. We should start taking the time to please ourselves. It is only from this space that we can start helping others.

If you think this will be a waste, or you can’t take a break because there is work to do, your brain will find ways to prove this thought true. If you tell yourself this is stupid and a waste of time, then you will squander the day and prove yourself right. If you tell yourself they can’t live without out you (and your confidence depends on them wanting you), you will allow the interruptions. If you find yourself saying you really can’t take the time off, then you have a non-sustainable job.

Give yourself permission. Start to develop strong boundaries. Understanding what we can and cannot do in a day. Setting aside days for us to reflect, listen deeply to our inner thoughts, and strategize the path we are meant to live are keys to a successful life. If we’re too busy and never take time to stop, we will never see the path in front of us."

Amy Vertrees is a general surgeon and co-founder, The Common Thread Women Surgeon Coaching.

She shares her story and discusses her KevinMD article, "Physicians need growth days." (https://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2021/02/physicians-need-growth-days.html)