What would you do if you got hit by a stomach bug while driving a Nissan Sentra? Are UNC grads actually bigger a$$holes than Duke fans? Should you pick your bracket solely based on mascots? And how would you create the ultimate sports bubble? Plus: Chihuahua Guy, Lady Cocks, Gentleman Zips, @RamsesBalls, fate, destiny, peace accords and snitching on Hawkeye Elvis.

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