How can we help our female athletes get back up from a mistake and not shy away? 

Here is a magic question to help your daughter with those moments she wants to let up and pull back. I believe so many parents have seen their daughter hesitate after making a mistake and pull back from trying again. One great strategy that is helpful in this situation is— asking the right questions. 

We’re going to talk about the concept of this strategy below and more tips to mentally help your daughter get through this. 

Most of us believe that mindset training is only for those that are struggling, or you need to be in high school. But the truth is the earlier we start training our minds the better! The earlier we can have our athletes know and believe that their mind is their biggest muscle, the more they can optimize it.

So let’s start! 

Asking The Right Questions

“My child has a hard outside hit (volleyball). Lately, though she’s been letting up. I asked her why. Her answer was she’s afraid of being blocked. I understand there are strategies and you can’t always “kill” the ball. How do we teach them to not be afraid and to count on their teammates to have your back if one is blocked?”

This is one of the concerns of many moms in our Elite Competitor Program. It's this situation where our daughters make a mistake and then they hesitate. They're a little shy to want to try it again. And maybe they're just afraid that they're going to make that same mistake. Having those reasons in their head, they pull back instead of being aggressive or trying again. They sometimes stop trying something different and their solution is pulling back afraid of doing the same mistake again. 

Dealing with this situation is tangible and critical. Asking the right questions will help you and your daughter determine the right next steps. 

Remember that it’s important to help her build critical thinking skills. To be a problem solver and help herself get back on the game whenever there’s a disappointing situation. Validate her feelings and ask the right questions.

• Ask her why 
• Ask what else could she try
• Ask what other options does she have

These are prompt questions to help her think things like “ what else could I do ”  instead of “ I don't ever want to feel this again, so I'm just going to let up”.

These are just small pieces of things we teach in The Elite Competitor program. We also teach moms of athletes going through this program as they’re supporting their daughters. Most sports moms experience similar situations so I encourage you to try these strategies. 

Our brain is primed to find answers for questions, so if we ask good questions we're going to equip our daughters to find good answers for themselves.

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Helpful Links:

• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
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