What's the difference between perfectionism and healthy striving? 

It appears that there is a narrow line that separates the two, and many mothers have asked the same question. This is a great question because I have yet to meet a female athlete who does not suffer from perfectionism in some way. And a lot of athletes mistakenly believe that perfectionism is the reason they are good at their sport, but this is a myth. Perfectionism does not make anyone great at their sport since it always comes at a price.

Yes, it can lead to some positive outcomes, but it always comes at the expense of their mental, emotional, and long-term development. And we see so many athletes who self-identify as perfectionists burn out in their sport.

In this episode, we'll discuss the differences between them.

Many of these principles are based on Brené Brown's study. She spends a lot of time discussing the distinction between perfectionism and healthy striving.

It's the same framework that The Elite Competitor Program uses. Perfectionism is the topic of module seven. We work with athletes to figure out what they're going through and where they stand in terms of perfectionism and healthy striving. Then we provide them a framework for shifting toward healthy striving and letting go of perfectionism as a safety net.

Moving towards healthy striving

As mothers, we can do a few things to assist athletes in their pursuit of a healthy lifestyle. Athletes are very aware of what you pay praise and acknowledge. As a result, we must ensure that we are not solely focused on outcomes and that we distinguish between who they are and what they perform in their sport.

They must be assured that you love them and that they are deserving of your affection regardless of their performance. They may put on the best show of their lives or fail, but it shouldn't affect how much you adore them.

And your daughter must be able to detect perfectionism in herself and have the resources she can use to make the switch to healthy striving.

That's exactly what we teach athletes in The Elite Competitor Program, we teach them how to recognize this in themselves and then shift their focus to healthy striving rather than perfectionism. They are free to let go of their safety net.

When they have the tools to shift, to assist these drivers, that's when it really, truly comes together. I hope this was useful in distinguishing between perfectionism and healthy striving, as well as ideas to help your athlete achieve that healthy striving.

Perfectionism is something that focuses on “others” and the outcome. It often leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and depression.

Healthy striving is focused on the “self”, the process, and how to enhance the athlete’s abilities rather than the outcome.

Help your daughter move towards healthy striving, it doesn’t only help her develop in sports, but in all aspects of her life as well. 

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