The Refined Collective Podcast

Real Talk: Dating in Your 30s vs. 20s


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Kristina is the founder of the DTR Blog-- @thedtrblog on Instagram. She started it when she was going through her own dating struggles and it slowly grew over time and is now a massive community. You’ve probably seen her wit and wisdom all over the internet. This episode, we chat about why she started The DTR Blog and how her own dating journey has evolved over the years.

Dating In Your 20s

Kristina was raised as a Christian and rebelled a bit in college. After college, she lived in England and met a guy. Within three months, they were talking about engagement. They prayed about whether they should be married and ultimately, he broke up with her. This breakup, paired with her mother passing away, led her to several panic attacks every day and she spiraled into drinking and workaholic mode. Then, at 28, she moved in with her dad and quit her job.

While beginning her healing journey, she began the DTR Blog as a way for comedy to heal her and enter her church life. Because of her memes, she got a book deal and now she is living happily in Los Angeles. 

Dating in your 20s involves a lot of the internet and some girls in their 20s just don’t realize that the behavior they see from men online is unacceptable. Sure, a guy can slide into your DMs, but the way he does it is very important. She noticed when the DTR Blog grew that more men were reaching out on DMs and as a result she has had more set-ups. However, she also gets creepy stalkers reaching out to her on DM.

Dating In Your 30s

Kristina has matured in the way she approaches dating and healing. “I want to get married, but if that doesn’t happen that’s okay.”

She offers some great advice on how to be normal in dating:

  1. Know what you believe about God + yourself
    1. “You can’t be successful in dating if you don’t know who you are or what you believe”
    1. You don’t have to pray about going on a first date…unless he’s a super creeper!
  2. Keep it light + fun
    1. It’s important to have people to support you in the journey because it can be hard + weird dating these days!
  3. Community

Keep up with Kristina on Instagram at @thedtrblog, where she will update you on her book that is coming out! You can also learn more about her at her website, TheDTRBlog.com.

If there’s anyone who understands how frustrating dating as a Christian woman in today’s culture is, it’s me. So, first things first, I just want to say I see you.  And as real as all of these feelings are, it’s time to SHIFT our mindset ladies.

The Activate Your Dating Life Program is an implementation program that not only shows you exactly how to actively step into dating with vision, clarity, confidence, and freedom.  But also, how to put yourself out there and actually meet quality single, godly men, while being surrounded by a community of powerful women cheering you on!

Here’s all the information you need. 


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The Refined Collective PodcastBy Kat Harris

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