Today I am excited to talk about how you can stop hitting the easy button. Now the easy button is often the button you push when you are avoiding something or procrastinating. Sometimes you press the easy button when you are people-pleasing or when you are becoming a chameleon. Lastly, you can be pushing the easy button when you’re not using your voice and when you’re not advocating for your needs. These are easy things to do in the short term.

When you make a hard choice, you speak up against something that everyone else believes. A hard choice is speaking your truth regardless of how that might affect the dynamic or other people's decisions and behaviors. You should be willing to advocate for your needs and ask for what you want versus allowing people to walk all over you. Tune in as I give you three powerful ways to shift and get your needs met. Eventually, you will have more joy because that's what this podcast is all about!

In this Episode:

• [ 2:50 ] What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
• [ 7:10 ] Find clarity on where and how you are hitting the easy button
• [ 10:50 ] Challenge your fears  
• [ 12:45 ] Affirm that you are capable of doing hard things
• [ 14:05 ] Focus on the big picture

Joy Filling Quotes: 

• “Easy choices eventually lead to heartache.”
• “Affirm that you are capable of doing hard things.”
• “Challenge your excuse.”
• “Focus on the big picture versus the short-term gain.”

Resources:

Free Affirmation Downloads: https://rebelsforjoy.com/hip-hop

Free Forgiveness Quick Start Formula : CLICK HERE

Free Boundaries Quick Start Formula: CLICK HERE

IG: www.instagram.com/rebelsforjoy

IG Personal: @Bonniekelly.me

Facebook Group www.facebook.com/groups/rebelsforjoy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rebelsforjoy

Why should you speak your truth?

Today we are going to talk about how to speak up. For all of my soul sisters struggling to speak their truth and struggling to advocate for their needs - this episode is for you. We will talk about three things you can start doing right now to begin to speak and align better with your truth. For me, learning to speak up and to advocate for myself was indeed a challenging task. I always wanted others to feel welcomed, supported and uplifted. I started to realize that I don't do the same for myself. In fact, I often will put myself last.

Just like I did, it's time for you to learn how to speak up, it's time for you to learn how to advocate for your needs, it's time for you to matter. In reality, you do matter - your truth matters, your needs, and your wants matter. When you can learn these skills of speaking up for yourself, you will be a better person. I'm going to teach you three powerful ways that you can begin to do that right now - it is going to be a game-changer in the dynamics of your relationships.

In this Episode:

• [ 2:20 ] Why do trees seems suspicious on sunny days?
• [ 6:10 ] It’s important to take care of yourself  
• [ 9:25 ] Focus on the small ways that you can speak up
• [ 11:40 ] What is stopping you from speaking your truth?  
• [ 13:15 ] What do you want to accomplish from speaking up?  
• [ 14:50 ] Follow the boundary rules

Joy Filling Quotes: 

• “If we ignore it, the fear wins.”
• “Get a lot more clarity on what it is that you want to achieve.”
• “As a Rebel For Joy, we know we are committed to doing the inner work to live a joyful life.”
• “Be clear, kind, unemotional, and you make it a request.”
• “We want to learn to speak our truth in a calm, rational, loving demeanor.”

Resources:

Free Affirmation Downloads: https://rebelsforjoy.com/hip-hop

Free Forgiveness Quick Start Formula : CLICK HERE

Free Boundaries Quick Start Formula: CLICK HERE

IG: www.instagram.com/rebelsforjoy

IG Personal: @Bonniekelly.me

Facebook Group www.facebook.com/groups/rebelsforjoy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rebelsforjoy

Are you avoiding a difficult conversation?

Today we are talking about how to have difficult conversations. I cannot tell you how many emails I get from people struggling with being present or handling difficult conversations. In fact, the number one go-to when it comes to addressing these things is avoidance. We avoid, we procrastinate, or we find ourselves people-pleasing to try to accommodate others.

In this episode, I give you three different inner tips and outer tips on how to change and transform. That way, you can actually start having those conversations that you may have been avoiding. I know all too well how to avoid, procrastinate, or people please when it comes to difficult conversations. Sometimes the weight of my truth was slowing me down. However, I now know that having those difficult conversations will make you feel so much more joyful. Tune in for tips about making those difficult conversations easier!

In this Episode:

• [ 2:50 ] How do you weigh a millennial?  
• [ 8:30 ] Why you need to get clarity  
• [ 9:15 ] Ask your fear for guidance  
• [ 10:20 ] Trace it back
• [ 12:45 ] It’s time to do the outer work

Joy Filling Quotes: 

• “We want to begin to dive into those inner reasons so that we can then have the outer work.”
• “You cannot have outward success without doing the inner work first.”
• “We want to start asking our fear for guidance.”
• “Fear is there to guide you; fear is there to help point out the flaws.”

Resources:

Free Affirmation Downloads: https://rebelsforjoy.com/hip-hop

Free Forgiveness Quick Start Formula : CLICK HERE

Free Boundaries Quick Start Formula: CLICK HERE

IG: www.instagram.com/rebelsforjoy

IG Personal: @Bonniekelly.me

Facebook Group www.facebook.com/groups/rebelsforjoy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rebelsforjoy

Is your joy sleeping?

Today we are going to talk about awakening joy. I love talking about happiness and all the ways that we can bring and cultivate more joy in our life. We are going to talk a little bit more about what robs us of our joy and thinking inwards to how we can awaken more joy in our life. My goal isn't to just bring you joy right now, but to help you cultivate lasting joy, and everlasting joy is something that you nurture.

Your natural nature is to be happy. So, it's time to awaken your joy. The first step in awakening your joy is identifying what has caused your happiness to go into slumber. By doing that investigational piece first, you can start identifying when and why your joy has gone into slumber. When you wake the bear of joy, you want it to stay awake; you don't want it to go back to sleep for these extended periods. Tune in as I give more tips on awakening your lasting joy.

In this Episode:

• [ 5:25 ] Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
• [ 8:40 ] Identify what has caused your happiness to go into slumber  
• [ 12:15 ] Move into clarity and ask yourself what you want

Joy Filling Quotes: 

• “Your natural nature is to be happy.”
• “We get clarity on what we want so we can decide on how we're going to behave moving forward.”
• “You can't take action unless you have an understanding behind it.”
• “We want to awaken joy.”
• “I deserve happiness because I'm alive.”

Resources:

Free Affirmation Downloads: https://rebelsforjoy.com/hip-hop

Free Forgiveness Quick Start Formula : CLICK HERE

Free Boundaries Quick Start Formula: CLICK HERE

IG: www.instagram.com/rebelsforjoy

IG Personal: @Bonniekelly.me

Facebook Group www.facebook.com/groups/rebelsforjoy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rebelsforjoy

Do you wake up with a smile on your face?

I am excited about today's Do This Daily Conversation. These are my three D's, sister! Do these three things daily to allow yourself to be the happiest, most joyful version of YOU imaginable. I wake up with a smile on my face; I always look forward to starting the day. That is something I cultivated; I wasn't born that way. The three D's help me to maintain that level of happiness.

The three D's are things that I am very intentional about daily because I know they create that foundation of everlasting joy. When I say everlasting, it's not like a fairy tale because fairy tales are not sustainable. If you were happy all the time without the complexity, dimension, and depth, would you appreciate your happiness? Of course not! So, tune in as reveal the three D's that will help you maintain happiness.

In this Episode:

• [ 3:00 ] Why did the man hate his job as an origami teacher?  
• [ 5:20 ] Choose to deepen in your inner work
• [ 8:40 ] Discover something new
• [ 10:45 ] Dancing is an important component of happiness

Joy Filling Quotes: 

• “I wake up with a smile on my face. I'm looking forward to starting the day.”
• “Discover something new, learn something new, and expand that consciousness.”
• “The more that you move your body, the better.”
• “Be very intentional every day to dance and to move your booty.”
• “You're living a life by design.”

Resources:

Free Affirmation Downloads: https://rebelsforjoy.com/hip-hop

Free Forgiveness Quick Start Formula : CLICK HERE

Free Boundaries Quick Start Formula: CLICK HERE

IG: www.instagram.com/rebelsforjoy

IG Personal: @Bonniekelly.me

Facebook Group www.facebook.com/groups/rebelsforjoy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rebelsforjoy

How do you empower yourself to be happy?

I am excited today to talk to you about resetting your happiness and the three essential elements that will always bring you back to joy. I feel after the year we've had, this conversation is needed more than ever before. All of us have experienced a lot of numbness and disconnection from the Coronavirus, riots, and fires. These three basic elements of joy will be a foundation for the rest of your life. If you're like me, you might feel it almost instantaneously. But for most people, it might take weeks of practice before you actually start to reap the rewards. I know that we live in a world of instant gratification. We don't like waiting for things. However, trust me, it's worth it! More than anything, I hope you start to practice all three of them but at least commit to one today.

In this Episode:

• [ 2:55 ] Why does Humpty Dumpty love Autumn?
• [ 6:30 ] How we can be gardeners of our own mindset
• [ 7:55 ] Gratitude
• [ 11:10 ] Affirmations  
• [ 13:00 ] Intentionality

Joy Filling Quotes: 

• “I’ve spent a lot of time and energy doing the inner work to allow that to be my truth.”
• “I know that I am strong enough, I know that I am good enough, I know that I am worthy enough.”
• “When we can affirm every day, if we can be grateful every day, watch what happens to your happiness level.”
• “With cultivating joy and with creating happiness - I'm very intentional.”

Resources:

Free Affirmation Downloads: https://rebelsforjoy.com/hip-hop

Free Forgiveness Quick Start Formula : CLICK HERE

Free Boundaries Quick Start Formula: CLICK HERE

IG: www.instagram.com/rebelsforjoy

IG Personal: @Bonniekelly.me

Facebook Group www.facebook.com/groups/rebelsforjoy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rebelsforjoy

This episode is the fifth degree of self-sabotage, which means we're diving deep into procrastination today. Now I know this is a big topic that affects a lot of you. So I'm going to do my best to give you that overview and a deeper understanding of what it means to be a procrastinator and reinforce those three steps on how to end it for real. A procrastinator is a person who is habitually putting off doing things; they are consciously aware that they're not following through. A procrastinator has good intent; they plan on taking action later. Tune in as I go super deep into procrastination and how you can stop this self-sabotaging behavior.

In this Episode:

• [ 3:40 ] What does a vegan zombie like to eat?
• [ 5:20 ] All about procrastinators
• [ 13:40 ] Get to the root of your procrastination
• [ 16:40 ] Remember, there is nothing wrong with you!

Joy Filling Quotes: 

• “A lot of my self-esteem was built on this perception of what others thought of me.”
• “If you do not do the deep dive, it will not be a lasting transformation.”
• “What are you most afraid of?”
• “There's a behavioral pattern and a thought pattern under the surface that is running the show.”
• “Information is going to empower you.”

Resources:

Free Affirmation Downloads: https://rebelsforjoy.com/hip-hop

Free Forgiveness Quick Start Formula : CLICK HERE

Free Boundaries Quick Start Formula: CLICK HERE

IG: www.instagram.com/rebelsforjoy

IG Personal: @Bonniekelly.me

Facebook Group www.facebook.com/groups/rebelsforjoy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rebelsforjoy

Do you struggle with consistency?

We are continuing our conversation in-depth about ending the cycle of self-sabotage. This episode is explicitly talking about the behavioral pattern of inconsistency. Do you find yourself inconsistent with your work, your marketing, your health, your finances, or your fitness? We're going to dive a little deeper into this specific behavior. So, what does it mean to be inconsistent? It means you are not staying the same throughout. However, you can't be the same version of yourself throughout life; you learn too much, you acquire too much information, and you make changes. So, it’s essential to recognize that staying the same is an unrealistic standard that you're not going to meet.

Inconsistency also means acting at variance with one's owns principles. For example, if one of your principles is drinking more water, yet you find yourself drinking soda – you are acting inconsistently on your principles. Well, inconsistency is just a behavior; it's a behavioral pattern that we want to shift. When we are inconsistent, it is just a habit. To shift away from being inconsistent, we need to understand why we have this behavior. Why do we allow ourselves to get so distracted so quickly? Once we know this, we can make the shift. Tune in as I chat about the importance of understanding your ‘why’ when it comes to inconsistency.

In this Episode:

• [ 3:25 ] What time does a duck wake up?
• [ 4:55 ] How you are inconsistent with your principles
• [ 8:30 ] Recognize that inconsistency is a behavioral pattern that you want to shift
• [ 15:55 ] It’s time to understand why you are inconsistent

Joy Filling Quotes: 

• “Most people who are inconsistent really fear the unknown.”
• “You have different challenges at different seasons and different times.”
• “Inconsistency is just a behavior.”
• “It's so important for us to get back into our bodies.”

Resources:

Ending Self- Sabotage (for real): https://rebelsforjoy.com/sabotage/

Free Affirmation Downloads: https://rebelsforjoy.com/hip-hop

Free Forgiveness Quick Start Formula : CLICK HERE

Free Boundaries Quick Start Formula: CLICK HERE

IG: www.instagram.com/rebelsforjoy

IG Personal: @Bonniekelly.me

Facebook Group www.facebook.com/groups/rebelsforjoy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rebelsforjoy

What are you running away from?

In this series, we have three more episodes to talk about the five different degrees of self-sabotage. So far, we've covered people-pleasing and perfectionism. In this episode, we're going to talk about avoiding and distracting. If you're just tuning in to this series, I highly recommend you go back and make sure to listen to ending self-sabotage for real parts one and two. Often, when we find ourselves playing the game of procrastination, we identify ourselves as weak or something is wrong with us. However, that's not the case. Self-sabotage is just behavioral patterns that are playing out. Remember, they don't serve us anymore. When we can think of them in that way, they become less emotionally charged and easier to transform.

So, let's dive into avoiding. An avoider is a person who actively keeps away from not doing something. The keyword in this definition that I want to highlight is “actively.” An avoider is usually consciously aware that they're in avoidance. Now, that's important because there is a significant distinguishing difference between avoidance and procrastination. Procrastinators often aren't aware that they're procrastinating because they're stuck in a behavioral pattern. They're doing behaviors that will keep them away from something, whereas avoiders come from an emotional charge - it's more of a reaction. Tune as I reveal what you need to do to stop this self-sabotaging behavior and how you can embrace the pain and release the stress.

In this Episode:

• [ 2:45 ] Why should you sit in the corner every time you get cold?
• [ 3:55 ] The reason we find ourselves avoiding + procrastinating. 
• [ 4:55 ] The difference between avoiding + procrastinating  
• [ 8:10 ] It’s time to become aware of how you are avoiding 
• [ 13:40 ] Why you need to embrace the pain
• [ 20:35 ] How to release the anxiety + stress 

Joy Filling Quotes: 

• “Avoiders want to escape their thoughts and feelings.”
• “Ultimately, avoiders are trying to avoid feeling like a failure.”
• “When we avoid pain, we will get sucked into suffering.”
• “Your fear can no longer be the motive for why you are doing what you're doing.”
• “It is time to just give to yourself the same joy you wish upon your children.”

Resources:

Ending Self- Sabotage (for real): https://rebelsforjoy.com/sabotage/

Free Affirmation Downloads: https://rebelsforjoy.com/hip-hop

Free Forgiveness Quick Start Formula : CLICK HERE

Free Boundaries Quick Start Formula: CLICK HERE

IG: www.instagram.com/rebelsforjoy

IG Personal: @Bonniekelly.me

Facebook Group www.facebook.com/groups/rebelsforjoy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rebelsforjoy

What’s your wildest dream?

Amber Lilyestrom is a transformational branding strategist and business coach, author and speaker. She has been featured by Forbes, Entrepreneur and Working Mother Magazine. She is the host of The Amber Lilyestrom Show podcast, which has over 100,000 monthly downloads. and the creator of the Ignite Your Soul Summit, an annual live event in Portsmouth, NH.

In this episode, we jump right into purpose. Purpose is your reason for creating or doing something. Also, purpose can mean the reason you exist. Not having a purpose or denying yourself of your purpose can really rob you of joy. When you do not align with your purpose, when you're not on the right path, you feel frustrated and create destructive habits that result in a lack of fulfillment and joy. It's critical to know your truth and be intimately connected with yourself. That way, you can communicate and speak that truth however it manifests for you.

Later, Amber reveals what to do when you are growing faster than your partner. Most women are focused on their personal development and growth. Plus, their level of consciousness is at a place where they understand the need to really commit to that work. Sometimes, this can be frustrating when you are growing faster than the one that you love. It will be critical to get to a place where you can recognize that you and your partner are different people. Luckily, Amber gives loads of tips on exactly how to do the inner work. Tune in as we chat about the importance of acknowledging your dreams in order to create deep changes. 

In this Episode:

• [ 1:45 ] All about Amber  
• [ 5:20 ] The foundation of your purpose
• [ 8:20 ] Finding alignment into your meaning
• [ 14:20 ] What to do when you’re growing faster than your partner
• [ 21:20 ] Every situation is an opportunity to have a mirror moment
• [ 32:30 ] It’s time to acknowledge your dreams

Joy Filling Quotes: 

• “I believe that every single person on this planet has a purpose.”
• “We all have a collective purpose to feel joy.”
• “The meaning of life is to be in joy.”
• “If the dream is in you, it's for you.”
• “Give yourself permission to dream.”

Resources:

Amber’s Website: https://www.amberlilyestrom.com/

Amber on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amberlilyestrom/

Amber on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BrandLoveCoach

Free Affirmation Downloads: https://rebelsforjoy.com/hip-hop

Free Forgiveness Quick Start Formula : CLICK HERE

Free Boundaries Quick Start Formula: CLICK HERE

IG: www.instagram.com/rebelsforjoy

IG Personal: @Bonniekelly.me

Facebook Group www.facebook.com/groups/rebelsforjoy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rebelsforjoy