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In this episode I'm joined by Emma Wright - feminist health coach, certified cognitive behavioural and intuitive eating coach, and author of Body Confident - for a conversation I've wanted to have for a long time.

Because Emma and I work with essentially the same woman. In my world, she's capable, successful, has built a great life on paper... and yet she's stayed in a relationship that doesn't really light her up or she's feeling destabilised by divorce. In Emma's world, she shows up exactly the same way, but the relationship is with food and her body.

Same woman. Same conditioning. Slightly different arena.

In this episode we go deep into what's really underneath all of it - the quiet questioning, the self-doubt, the staying - and what it actually takes to come home to yourself.

We talk about:
- How good girl conditioning shows up in your relationship with your body, your food, and your relationships with others
 - The "quiet questioning" — that inner whisper that something isn't working, and the rush to silence it
 - Why worthiness sits underneath almost everything and what happens to it when a relationship ends

And the big one...

The post-divorce glow up.  

What it looks like on the surface, what's really going on underneath, and what genuine reclamation actually looks like

The one question that reframes everything

How much of you is it costing you to stay?

Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist

• How you can work with me
• Book a free intro call
• Free Resources & Downloads
  - Choose You Guidebook
  - Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts
  - Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass
• Join the Reflect VIP Mailing List

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

All relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈

This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.

Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

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Want more?

Feel like where you are, what you have, the life you're living is not quite "it"?
Wanting more than what you have?

That doesn’t make you wrong or flawed or mean you’re asking too much.

It’s information. 

You inner knowing pointing you toward what's true, what's right, and what your life is actually asking for.

This episode goes deep on what's actually underneath wanting more and busts the myth that keeps so many women small.

Wanting more, allowing yourself to desire and ask for more from your life, is pointing you home.

Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist

• How you can work with me
• Book a free intro call
• Free Resources & Downloads
  - Choose You Guidebook
  - Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts
  - Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass
• Join the Reflect VIP Mailing List

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

All relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈

This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.

Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

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This episode is for the 2am version of you.

The one feeling like everything is coming apart and wondering when it's going to stop.

This isn't a quick fix or a pep talk but simply a different way of understanding what's actually happening when you fall apart. 

Because maybe it's not what you think it is.

Maybe you're not falling apart.

Maybe you're falling closer.

Closer to what's real.

Closer to what's true.

Closer to the version of your that's been hidden under layers

Waiting for the noise to clear.

This episode explores the paradox at the heart of divorce and separation: that the moment you feel most lost is often the moment you are closest to yourself.

Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist

• How you can work with me
• Book a free intro call
• Free Resources & Downloads
  - Choose You Guidebook
  - Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts
  - Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass
• Join the Reflect VIP Mailing List

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

All relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈

This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.

Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us Fan Mail

If you've been waiting...

To feel ready, for the fear to pass, for someone to show you the way this episode is going to land somewhere uncomfortable. And then, hopefully, somewhere freeing.

Sallyanne talks about the quiet story so many carry through asking questions about a relationship, separation or divorce: that when things settle, when they feel stronger, when someone shows them what to do... then  they'll be able to take the next step. 

The problem with that story is that it requires you to stay helpless. And the longer you wait, the more that version of you becomes the only one you can access.

Nobody's coming to save you. And that, it turns out, is actually a good thing.

In this episode:

Why waiting to feel ready keeps you smaller than you are

The difference between needing support and outsourcing your agency

Why courage isn't the absence of fear and what it actually is

The woman you've been waiting for, and why she's already here

Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist

• How you can work with me
• Book a free intro call
• Free Resources & Downloads
  - Choose You Guidebook
  - Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts
  - Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass
• Join the Reflect VIP Mailing List

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

All relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈

This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.

Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us Fan Mail

Divorce is not the worst thing that has or could happen to you.

But maybe staying is.

What if divorce isn't the tragedy in your story? What if it's the turning point?

In this episode, Sallyanne explores one of the most confronting reframes in her work that for many, the marriage ending wasn't (just) loss. It was the beginning.

This isn't toxic positivity. It's about leaving a small door open, to the possibility that one day (maybe not today, or for a while) you might look back at this moment and understand why it had to happen.

Whether you're in the thick of it right now, or further along this episode is for you. 

In this episode:

• Why grief makes us romanticise relationships that weren't actually making us happy
• The question Sallyanne asks women who are two, three years out — and what they almost universally say
• Why 'hard' and 'wrong' are not the same thing
• How to "borrow" the trust of women who are already on the other side

P.S. we are exploring some shorter episodes in the next few weeks. Message me to tell me if you like short & sweet... or not 

Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist

• How you can work with me
• Book a free intro call
• Free Resources & Downloads
  - Choose You Guidebook
  - Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts
  - Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass
• Join the Reflect VIP Mailing List

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

All relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈

This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.

Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us Fan Mail

There's a kind of loneliness that comes with divorce. During it. Afterwards. And sometimes, before you've even left your marriage.

It's the kind nobody warns you about.

Not the dramatic, crying-on-the-couch kind.

A more subtle, insidious kind. One that's slow and sustained. The kind that sneaks in over months and starts to convince you - quietly, stealthily - that this is just how life is now.

This is how life is going to be.

It doesn’t look like anything from the outside.

It shows up quietly. In the moment you realise the only person you spoke to on the weekend was the barista. Or you have news and you’re not sure who to call. In the 4am silence when there’s no one there.

This episode is about that. The kind of loneliness that slowly convinces you this is just how life is now — and the kind I want to push back on.

In this episode:

•  Why high-functioning, capable women are often the loneliest (and why no one notices)

•  The specific loneliness of life after divorce (that nobody prepares you for)

•  Why you might be surrounded by people and still feel profoundly alone

•  The flip side: what a life built entirely on your own terms can actually feel like

•  Three things to do if this landed for you

If you’ve been playing ‘I’m fine’ for so long you almost believe it ... this one’s for you.

And if you want to actually BE more than "fine" on a really deep level, let me support you in a 1:1 coaching experience.

Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist

• How you can work with me
• Book a free intro call
• Free Resources & Downloads
  - Choose You Guidebook
  - Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts
  - Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass
• Join the Reflect VIP Mailing List

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

All relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈

This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.

Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us Fan Mail

For anyone navigating separation, divorce, or parenting and rebuilding life afterwards, there is so very much uncertainty. The legal process. The financial picture. The parenting rhythm. Even your sense of identity

This episode is about finding - or creating - a sense of peace when everything else seems uncertain. When the ground feels like it's moving underneath your feet, and you're not sure when it's going to stop.

Because the truth is, it might not stop. Not completely.

Not if you've got kids together and a co-parenting relationship that's still finding its shape.

And if you're waiting for certainty before you allow yourself to feel okay, you might be waiting a long time.

So instead, let's talk about steadiness. And how to build it from the inside out.

In this episode:

• Why divorce doesn't just change your relationship - it fractures your sense of certainty
• The difference between contingency and peace
• Practices for staying steady when things are unresolved
• One of the most powerful things you can say in a divorce
• What stability actually looks like now and why it might be deeper than what came before

Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist

• How you can work with me
• Book a free intro call
• Free Resources & Downloads
  - Choose You Guidebook
  - Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts
  - Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass
• Join the Reflect VIP Mailing List

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

All relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈

This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.

Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us Fan Mail

If you've been stuck in the loop (should I stay, should I go, is this all there is) this episode is for you.

I want to tell you about a woman I know.

She's self-aware, thoughtful, doing her best, doing the work.. And she cannot bring herself to make the call, even though some quiet part of her already has.

I see her constantly in my work. Different names, different stories. Same cycle. And I recognise her from the inside too.

In this episode I'm talking about what actually keeps people stuck in this particular limbo, and it's almost never what they think it is.

We cover the pattern that runs on both sides of the dance, what it means to outsource your power and externalise your agency, and three things that genuinely move the needle when you're ready to break free.

Plus the one practical tool I recommend that almost nobody talks about.

If you recognise yourself in her, I see you.

I was her too, and I know how to help you understand your knowing.

Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist

• How you can work with me
• Book a free intro call
• Free Resources & Downloads
  - Choose You Guidebook
  - Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts
  - Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass
• Join the Reflect VIP Mailing List

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

All relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈

This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.

Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us Fan Mail

There's a pattern that shows up across almost every stage of the divorce journey - in those questioning whether to stay or leave, those in the thick of it, and even those rebuilding on the other side.

It's a quiet, self-protective voice that whispers: what's the point?

In this episode, Sallyanne unpacks the psychology behind that voice:

• why we sacrifice our own hopes and dreams rather than risk disappointment, and
• what it actually costs us when we quit on ourselves before we even begin.

This one is for anyone who has ever let fear, apathy, or self-doubt talk them out of the life they know - on some level - is waiting for them.

In this episode:

• Why "not trying" feels safe but still carries its own grief and loss
• The role of ego and risk tolerance in keeping us stuck
• How we globalise, personalise, and make fear bigger than it needs to be
• Practical steps to break through the "why even bother" mindset
• How taking one small action can start to shift everything

Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist

• How you can work with me
• Book a free intro call
• Free Resources & Downloads
  - Choose You Guidebook
  - Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts
  - Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass
• Join the Reflect VIP Mailing List

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

All relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈

This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.

Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.

Send us Fan Mail

Living Together Apart — The Identity Episode

Living Together Apart is one of the hardest configurations of separation  and one of the least talked about when it comes to the inner experience.

The logistics? We've covered those. But the identity disorientation? The strange grief of proximity? The quiet way you starts to come back to yourself even in the in-between limbo that is living together apart. That's what this episode is about.

If you're thinking about it, or in this right now - still under the same roof, still surrounded by the life you're in the process of leaving - this one's for you.

We cover:

• Why LTA is so psychologically disorienting (and why nobody talks about it)
• The roles that don't drop away just because the relationship has ended
• The specific grief of mourning someone who's still in the next room
• The first flickers of coming home to yourself: the remembering and the becoming
• Practical ways to hold your identity intact while you're still in the thick of it

Listen to past episodes about LTA here and here

Ready for support through this phase and beyond? Book a free intro call or Clarity Consult — link below.

Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist

• How you can work with me
• Book a free intro call
• Free Resources & Downloads
  - Choose You Guidebook
  - Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts
  - Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass
• Join the Reflect VIP Mailing List

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

All relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️‍🌈

This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.

Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.