Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Reframing the Idea of “Quality” in Friendship


Listen Later

Quality over quantity – you’ve probably heard this phrase when it comes to friendship, right?

So many of us strive for a few “quality” all-encompassing friendships, thinking that’s better than having lots of less intimate friends. But is that way of thinking actually limiting us?

There will be times in your life – maybe as a new parent, or after a loss – when you’ll gravitate toward the friends who can relate to your situation, even if they’re not those “quality” all-encompassing friends. Sometimes quality is specificity, not comprehensiveness. 

Similarly, I want to reframe the idea of “quality time.” Is quality time having those uninterrupted windows with friends? Or is it actually doing the everyday things together?

My hope is to help reduce some of your friendship anxiety: to give you permission to stop “performing” friendship and just BE IN friendship.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • Why some friendships feel effortless (and why I’ll argue they actually haven’t really felt effortless forever – you’ve already built muscles navigating awkward situations!)
  • “Quality” pockets of uninterrupted time vs. folding your friend time into your everyday life activities (plus, all the things you learn about your friends while doing the latter)
  • When quality can be specificity and not necessarily comprehensiveness: a friend who can offer specific support in a specific moment


Resources & Links

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!


...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9

4.9

56 ratings


More shows like Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

View all
Hidden Brain by Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam

Hidden Brain

43,540 Listeners

The Moth by The Moth

The Moth

27,237 Listeners

The One You Feed by Eric Zimmer

The One You Feed

2,557 Listeners

Life Coaching with Christine Hassler by Christine Hassler

Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

1,635 Listeners

Death, Sex & Money by Slate Podcasts

Death, Sex & Money

7,727 Listeners

The Daily by The New York Times

The Daily

112,454 Listeners

Up First from NPR by NPR

Up First from NPR

56,402 Listeners

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel by Esther Perel Global Media

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

14,936 Listeners

The Liz Moody Podcast by Liz Moody

The Liz Moody Podcast

3,117 Listeners

Life Kit by NPR

Life Kit

4,360 Listeners

Friend Forward by Danielle Bayard Jackson -- Female Friendship Expert

Friend Forward

272 Listeners

How to Be a Better Human by TED

How to Be a Better Human

1,377 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Treat Media and Glennon Doyle

We Can Do Hard Things

41,471 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

20,362 Listeners

A Really Good Cry by iHeartPodcasts

A Really Good Cry

276 Listeners