Regular Features

Please, for god's sake, put down the weapon... and pick up a BIG SMILE because it is time for Regular Features actually.

This week, Joe takes policing into his own hands, and Steve talks about a creature that doesn't even HAVE hands (but it does have a gun). Log turns up, but then leaves because a member of the glitterati had twizzled in to give us the inside scoop on Hollywood's biggest ever problem: James Corden.

Hey, what else can I tell ya, it's episode 506 of the Reg'lar Features podcast. In this one, Steve's on about legs. Log's on about herons. And Joe's on about the various nicknames given by George W Bush to his closest Colin Powells.

Get it in ya!

This week the fellas take their much overdue podcasting license test and we wade into the Terf Wars. We're on the good side just in case you were wondering.

You know how submarines are designed to go under the water and do torpedos and pinging and that? Well we've just come up with an idea for a new type of submarine that goes above the water. We can't give you any more details but let's just say it's called a SURmarine, it can carry 140 tactical nuclear warheads, and you CAN'T get it wet.

In this episode of Regular Features, we receive a letter from an underwater-faring surmarine. Log checks in with our old friend Wolf Blitzer. And Joe envisions how each of us would die in a Cluedo-style murder mystery type scenario.

Let's go!

The Queen is about to done be stuffed in the ground FOREVER. You are quite rightly sad so we are here to take your mind off of it with tales of jeans and Centre Parcs.

It is a dark week for people named 'Elizabeth' or 'Queen' but we've somehow managed to gather ourselves and create a fitting tribute to the one they called 'Queen Elizabeth'.

hello apple please help me: 062330

People say you can fly too close to the sun? Well we say you can't fly close enough. We say you can fly right up to it, so that your nude chest grazes along its surface as you circumnavigate its plasmic equator at one billion miles per hour, like you are Space Harrier himself, skirting along the edge of the troposphere, shooting energy bullets from your face, and

what

oh

okay.

In this one, Joe does a squish, and Log wants to give you a job at his pub. See you at one thousand!

Here is the Episode 500 LIVE extravaganza! If you'd like to recreate the evening yourself, we recommend listening to a room where the walls are visibly sweating.

This show features some bits that may be better experienced with your eyes so either get yourself a DeLorean and head back to night of the show OR watch the show on YouTube here: https://bit.ly/rf500live

Joe's Feature has a lovely little slideshow so when you get to his bit, you can play along here: https://bit.ly/rf500pitchdeck

AND finally here are some photos from the evening for you to enjoy: https://bit.ly/RF500PHOTOS

Thanks to Fizzy Beefer (Goes to Ibiza) for the photos x

On the eve of the episode 500 live show, all five Feature boys got together, drank far too much, and recorded a question-and-answer session. We don't regret it one bit ACTUALLY.

Everybody likes to say things are "out the wazoo", but nobody ever asks "how's the wazoo". Nobody ever inspects the wazoo to make sure its hard-working chute isn't red raw with all the stuff whizzing out of it. Nobody applies the special clinical wazoo balms the wazoo doctor prescribed, but the poor wazoo didn't have the hands to rub into its own wazoo. But does the wazoo ever complain? No. Says more about you than it does the wazoo if you're askin' for my two pence, which you ain't.

In this episode, Log gambles on amber, Steve admits he's been a weapons engineer for an aerospace contractor this entire time, and Gav addresses some early complaints about Regular Features Honey.

Available here! https://regularfeatures.com/shop/honey-by-regular-features/