The roles we play are often the result of our family of origin. Meaning the family dynamic, you grew up in. If you came from a dysfunctional family, as many do, you probably could find yourself in one or more of the family roles I’m going to be talking about in this episode.
The term “dysfunctional family” first appeared in Family and Family Therapy by Salvador Minuchin, one of the founders of the family therapy movement. A dysfunctional family is a group of related individuals, either by blood or other criteria, that is not functioning in a healthy, productive manner.
Today, most everyone can relate to family dysfunction of some sort. There are no perfect families. You know why? Families are made up of flawed humans who bring their own dysfunction to the table, which affects the dynamics of the entire family unit. Sure, some families are more dysfunctional than some, but I believe every family has its own form of dysfunction.
Often in a dysfunctional family unit, children fall into categories or roles that affect how they see themselves, see others, and interact in relationships across the board. So, in this episode, I want to explain the 4 roles, how they can affect the marriage relationship, and how to help each other grow beyond them.
Here are 4 types of dysfunctional family roles. See if you can identify your role as well as your husband’s.
The Hero
On the outside, they are perfect and always right. They are overachievers and tend to receive high praise and positive attention. They are driven and may have inflated egos. But their self-esteem comes from the performance and recognition of others. A lot was expected of them in the family dynamics.
The Scapegoat
The scapegoat is the total opposite of the hero. They are seen as the problem in the family. They have a hard time fitting in and relating to other members of the family. Their behavior is seen as bad and never good enough. They are angrier and more impulsive. But they are also more likely to bring the truth of the dysfunction of the family to the forefront.
The Lost Child
The lost child is the individual that is ignored, quiet, and seems or feels invisible in the family. They have low self-esteem. They want to be loved and accepted, but they never feel worthy. They often find themselves putting the needs of others ahead of their own. This is where both my husband and I fit.
The Clown/Mascot
Finally, there is the clown or mascot. They are funny, goofy, often immature, and will do anything for a laugh. They are usually popular but can also be seen as annoying.
For complete show notes to this episode go to http://reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com/38