Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

By The Irish Times

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.

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· Comedy

4.8

3535 ratings

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FAQs about Ross O'Carroll-Kelly:

How many episodes does Ross O'Carroll-Kelly have?

The podcast currently has 565 episodes available.

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly episodes:

September 30, 2022 'Honor storts screaming at the top of her lungs. But no one hears her. Because mine are louder'
So I’m in, like, Dundrum Town Centre with Honor and we’re racing for the lift slash elevator before the doors close. There’s, like, eight or nine people in there and they all do that thing that I always do when I’m in a lift slash elevator and someone is rushing for it. They all pretend they can’t see us, while one of them — some random old dude? — makes a movement like he’s looking for the hold doors button but he does it in, like, slow motion.
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6min
September 23, 2022 'Ronan is a – what’s the word – Republican? As in, he’s got the names of the whole crew from 1915 tattooed on his upper orm'
Claire from Bray of all places says the miniature Scotch eggs are – oh my God – divine? Sorcha says the secret is to fold some Worcestershire sauce and Tabasco into the pork mince before deep-frying the things in 100 per cent corn oil.
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6min
September 16, 2022 'The girls are staring at me in just, like, awe – they’re ready to learn from the master'
I’m like, “Okay, listen up, everyone,” spinning a rugby ball in my hands and – to be honest? – loving the way my voice sounds right now.
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7min
September 09, 2022 ‘Just because I’m a serial liar doesn’t mean that I can’t be trusted’
Lauren — as in, like, my best friend Christian’s wife? — has never been my number one fan. There are many reasons for that. For storters, she wouldn’t be what I would call a rugby person?
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6min
September 02, 2022 ‘How much would it mean to the girls storting school here to have the legendary Ross O’Carroll-Kelly teaching them rugby?’
It’s, like, the first day of the school year and we’re standing outside the gates of Castlerock College. Although it would be more accurate to say that we’re blocking the gates — yeah, no, in protest at the school’s decision to go co-ed. There’s, like, 40 or 50 old forts involved — mostly mates of my old man’s — and they’re in their literally element.
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7min
August 26, 2022 ‘Sorcha Lalor, you were the best Dalkey Lobster Festival Queen we ever had’
There are – I think we’d all agree? – some great events in the South Dublin social calendar. There’s, like, the Dublin Horse Show. There’s the arrival of Santa Claus in a twin-engine Sikorsky on the roof of Dundrum Town Centre each December. And there’s obviously Bloomsday – or, as I call it, Halloween for wankers.
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7min
August 19, 2022 I’m lying by the pool, doing my daily sit-ups with my top off, when I hear Honor go, ‘Oh, for fock’s sake! Not these two focking clowns!
The weather in — yeah, no — Portugal has been so good that Sorcha has been suffering the big-time guilts over the future of what she calls our planet? But on Tuesday everything changed when a severe depression suddenly blew in from the west — in other words, her old pair came to visit.
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8min
August 13, 2022 ‘Pissing in a swimming pool is a bit like farting at Mass. The trick is to squeeze it out quietly’
It’s a cracking day in Quinta do Lago — but then aren’t they all? I’m having my first piña colada of the morning because I drank way too much last night and I’m feeling like dogshit that’s been stepped in twice.
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7min
August 06, 2022 What are the girls in Mount Anville going to say when they find out you’re living in a housing estate?
A well-appointed property,” Sorcha goes, reading from the bumf, “set in the hort of one of South Dublin’s most sagacious suburbs. Oh my God, I love that word. It sounds amazing, doesn’t it, Ross?
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8min
July 29, 2022 I look fantastic for a man of 42, abs like speed bumps and pecs like bay windows
So – yeah, no – I’m in the gym in Riverview, trying to get myself beach body-ready for Quints in the middle of August. Today is orms day and I’m sitting on a Swiss ball in front of a long mirror, with a 6kg dumbbell in either hand, thinking how fantastic I look for a man of, like, 42, with abs like speed bumps and pecs like bay windows.

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8min

FAQs about Ross O'Carroll-Kelly:

How many episodes does Ross O'Carroll-Kelly have?

The podcast currently has 565 episodes available.