Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

By The Irish TimesComedy

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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly episodes

June 02, 2023 ‘I want to have – oh my God – everything done?’ Honor goes. ‘My chin, my nose, my forehead, my lips’
Honor has been walking around under a bit of a cloud ever since a dude by the name of Jonah – Wesley College, before you ask – friend-zoned her.
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7 min
May 26, 2023 ‘What does Patrick Kielty have that I don’t?’ asks the old dear
There’s no mystery as to why they chose Kielty for the Late Late. He’s not 76 years old. His bodily organs didn’t come from a black morket doctor in Bogotá
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7 min
May 20, 2023 The old man is a focking embarrassment at rugby matches
The old man is on the phone, shouting at me in his usual all-caps voice.
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7 min
May 12, 2023 The two of them are staring at me like this is the worst thing I’ve ever done. It’s not even in the top 10
So we’re at a dinner in the famous Rochestown Lodge in – let’s be honest here – Sallynoggin, to raise money for the Seapoint Rugby Club U-8s Trip to Biarritz: Leave No Child Behind.
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7 min
May 05, 2023 Honor says Joshua just wants to be friends. Better than nothing I say, but I hate lying to the girl
Honor goes, ‘It’s because I’m not good-looking.’ I’m there, ‘Looks aren’t important, Honor,’ and I’ve no idea where I’m pulling these lines from.
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6 min
April 28, 2023 I’m the father of a 15-year-old girl. I think, by this stage, I’ve earned the right to embarrass her?
He’s, like, standing right in front of the gaff, staring at his phone. I throw open the front door and I’m like, “Whatever you’re selling, fock off before I call the Feds,” which would be pretty much por for the course in these ports?
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6 min
April 21, 2023 ‘I’ve been polyamorous since the late 1990s’
People talk about polyamory like it’s a new thing. I’ve been polyamorous since the late 1990s. It’s just that I’ve never told my wife.

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7 min
April 14, 2023 Here we are on the roof of the house, vaping away to our horts’ content
I know they say it’s not good for your health but my relationship with Honor has never been better
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7 min
April 11, 2023 The old dear arrives at the door, smelling like a distillery tour, asking to see her granddaughters
She has so much filler in her face that she looks like she’s had herself embalmed to save us the trouble when she finally pops it.
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7 min
March 31, 2023 We’re a father and daughter vaping away to beat the band, properly bonding
If everybody is doing something how bad can it be, Ross thinks, as he submits to peer pressure from his daughter and discovers vaping
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7 min

About Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

From the publisher's feed

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.

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