Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

By The Irish Times

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.

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· Comedy

4.8

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FAQs about Ross O'Carroll-Kelly:

How many episodes does Ross O'Carroll-Kelly have?

The podcast currently has 597 episodes available.

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly episodes:

August 06, 2022 What are the girls in Mount Anville going to say when they find out you’re living in a housing estate?
A well-appointed property,” Sorcha goes, reading from the bumf, “set in the hort of one of South Dublin’s most sagacious suburbs. Oh my God, I love that word. It sounds amazing, doesn’t it, Ross?
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8min
July 29, 2022 I look fantastic for a man of 42, abs like speed bumps and pecs like bay windows
So – yeah, no – I’m in the gym in Riverview, trying to get myself beach body-ready for Quints in the middle of August. Today is orms day and I’m sitting on a Swiss ball in front of a long mirror, with a 6kg dumbbell in either hand, thinking how fantastic I look for a man of, like, 42, with abs like speed bumps and pecs like bay windows.

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8min
July 22, 2022 ‘No focking way. I’m not breaking into the dude’s office’
The old man has a Cohiba the size of a Wavin pipe wedged between his teeth and I end up having to open the window so I don’t die of smoke inhalation.

“The fock are we even doing here?” I go.
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7min
July 15, 2022 ‘I wonder sometimes are these kids definitely mine’
Ireland are playing the All Blacks but Sorcha has planned a family weekend to Center Parcs.
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7min
July 08, 2022 Our daughter is completely devoid of human feeling
It’s here — as in, like, the big day? Honor has reached the final of the Joshua Pim Shield and it’s the most excitement Glenageary has seen since Google accidentally called it Glasthule in the course of mapping the area and 14 per cent was wiped off local property values overnight.
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8min
July 01, 2022 Noah is graduating from creche. (Who the fock is Noah?)
Sorcha asks me if I’m ready and I tell her – yeah, no – I think so? I’ve got my Rugby Tactics Book on the coffee table, twenty-four sticks of Heinemite in the fridge and I’ve aired out my Cantos with the loose elastic in which I do all of my best thinking.
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8min
June 24, 2022 Sometimes you have to break the Mount Anville code
“Daddy long-legs,” Leo goes, pointing at quite literally nothing. “It’s a focking daddy long-legs.”

I’m like, “For the fifteenth time, Leo, it’s not a daddy long-legs. It’s a crack in your glasses from when Johnny hit you across the face with the griddle pan.”
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7min
June 17, 2022 ‘You didn’t think I was going to sit back and watch you allow girls into this school, did you?’
“Ross,” Fionn tries to go, “you can’t keep turning up at the school like this.”
And I’m like, “Who says so?” sitting down opposite him and throwing the old Dubey Dubey Doos up on his desk.

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8min
June 10, 2022 ‘I love Honor’s attitude. Not everyone does, but I’d be a major, major fan’
“Oh my God, that’s her!” Honor goes.

Her being Corina Brien, her opponent in the first round of the Joshua Pim Shield in Glenageary Lawn Tennis Club.
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8min
June 04, 2022 Sorcha is still serious about knocking gaff and turning it into aportments
Sorcha has ordered a skip. Yeah, no, that might not be big news where you live – but on Vico Road, Killiney, it’s, like, massive? Because it’s evidence that you’re up to something. And around here, there’s very little that escapes the attention of the local residents’ association, especially with their hourly drone flyovers looking for evidence of illegal building activity in the area.

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8min

FAQs about Ross O'Carroll-Kelly:

How many episodes does Ross O'Carroll-Kelly have?

The podcast currently has 597 episodes available.