A few years ago, we had a bunch of stories about Santa parades getting cancelled because of red tape and traffic management.

NZTA was the Grinch that stole Christmas.

And guess what, two years in, despite a change of Government, despite a Minister and Ministry of Regulation, despite the road cone tip line, the Grinch is back.

This time it’s Piopio. Population around 500. Rural. Between Hamilton and New Plymouth. SH3.

They want to close the road on the main which is their usual route. It’s close from 5:30pm to 8pm. Two and half hours.

Kids get to see Santa’s sleigh riding through town. Lollies would presumably be thrown from floats driven behind Utes - or do they still throw lollies, or would you be fined for hitting somebody? 

Anyway, you get the idea. We’ve all been to a Santa parade - great fun when you’re a kid.

Guess how much it was going to cost them because of the Grinch’s traffic rules and the resulting bill for traffic management costs?

It would normally cost around $1000. This year? $10,000-$14,000.

If you’re organising a Santa parade or an ANZAC parade or community event, don’t worry, on the NZTA website you’ll find a helpful guide: the New Zealand Guide to Temporary Traffic Management.

It’s 88 pages long.

That’s not the only problem. The first sentence of the foreword (yes, there’s a foreword to this magnum opus) outlines the problem.

Waka Kotahi NZ Transport Agency is committed to Road to Zero - a safer Aotearoa New Zealand where no one is killed or injured on our roads. 

Now, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is an absolute pipe dream and will never happen. Aiming for that outcome is mad. 

What you get as a result is 88 pages of rubbish and a $14k bill to get Santa in a sleigh for two hours. 

The organisers say they’ll have to do a Christmas meet and greet but no actual parade. 

Christmas is the season to be jolly and the season for giving. NZTA is giving Grinch vibes and a bad attitude. 

Whether it’s working from home, health and safety, or curriculum changes, there’s a wall of bureaucracy that seems impenetrable.

A change of government and direction doesn’t seem to change anything.

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