The Single Greatest Choice: For Single Women Exploring Solo Motherhood by Choice (SMBC), Fertility, and Having a Baby on Their Own Through Donor Conception or Adoption

S8E18 Blocked Tubes, Donor Scarcity & Choosing Herself: Lakia Holmes's IVF Journey as a Single Black Woman


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The search for a sperm donor can be overwhelming for anyone, but for Black women, the lack of available Black donors adds a whole new layer of complexity. When Lakia Holmes—senior producer of Bleacher Report’s branded sports content, award-winning journalist, and now a single mom by choice—began exploring her fertility options at 37, she had no idea just how winding the path would be.

What started as an egg-freezing consultation quickly revealed blocked fallopian tubes and a 2% chance of conceiving naturally. Suddenly, the dream she’d been putting off to grow her career became something she could no longer wait on. Choosing IVF meant choosing herself—and stepping into the unknown as a solo Black woman navigating infertility, donor scarcity, and the fear of how this choice might impact her career.

In our conversation, Lakia shares the emotional and logistical realities of that season: long donor waitlists, genetic mismatches, profiles with only a name or two left… and then the moment a miracle phone call changed everything.

“It wasn’t my plan A, but my plan B worked out pretty damn well.” — Lakia

Lakia opens up about the fast-moving year that followed—egg retrievals, her very first embryo transfer, and the shock and gratitude of being pregnant with her daughter, Isla, who arrived in May 2024. She also speaks honestly about postpartum depression, rebuilding her support system, heading back to work in the sports media world, and dipping her toe back into dating as an SMBC.

Most recently featured in Forbes, Lakia is now using her platform to bring fertility awareness to the Black community and to tell the story she once needed to hear.

Her honesty, humor, and courage offer such a powerful reminder: when you decide your dream of becoming a mother can’t wait any longer, so much becomes possible.

In this episode, we explore:

  • How an egg-freezing consult revealed blocked fallopian tubes
  • Recognizing that waiting for the “right time” or the “right partner” might mean waiting forever
  • Why Black sperm donors are so scarce—and how that impacts Black women pursuing donor conception
  • Finding a donor when the options feel impossibly limited
  • Getting pregnant on her very first embryo transfer
  • Lakia’s experiences during pregnancy and birth
  • Postpartum depression and learning to ask for help
  • Returning to work, navigating childcare, and preparing to travel again
  • Reentering the dating world as a solo mom by choice

Find out more about Lakia’s coaching at Lakia Holmes | Fertility Coach, Speaker & Advocate

👩‍👧‍👦The Single Greatest Choice is the single mother by choice support you’ve been craving for every stage of your journey. You can find 1:1 Coaching for every stage of solo motherhood by choice, Community Groups for thinkers, triers, and pregnant SMBCs, The SGC Village Membership Community, Retreats for early stage SMBCs and Family Trips for moms & kids.

💌Become part of the SGC community and stay up to date by joining our newsletter. You can sign up >>here<< at the bottom of the page.

Reach out to Katie over at [email protected]

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The Single Greatest Choice: For Single Women Exploring Solo Motherhood by Choice (SMBC), Fertility, and Having a Baby on Their Own Through Donor Conception or AdoptionBy Katie Bryan

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