Kayla Lords and John Brownstone discuss sadism and masochism in a D/s relationship in episode 61 of the Loving BDSM podcast.

In this episode:

John Brownstone is having a sale on his (very vanilla) Etsy shop – The Wood Dom!

S & M is separate from D/s – you can be one, but not the other.

Not every kinkster is into pain.

One of you can be into it and not the other and still make it work

A non-masochist sub may consider it part of their submission, another way to make a Dominant happy; a non-sadist may try it out to make a submissive happy or fill a need

You can “outsource” S&M if one of you is into it and the other isn’t – find someone you like and trust who can top or bottom for you to fulfill that need, a play partner

Common myths:

Only one type of S&M play – the extreme stuff

Masochists/subs are supposed to be quiet all the time – LOL

S & M is very serious business – yes, it is because of safety issues but there’s room for fun and laughter, too

Sadists are mean and masochists are extreme

S&M isn’t always about sharp pain – it can be about torture and fear in a variety of forms:

Edged/forced orgasms

Mind fucks

Teasing

Humiliation play

Tickling

Sensation play

Impact play

S&M can cause pain in one of three ways: physical, mental, or emotional (or a combination) – another reason to play very safe and use safewords and give aftercare

Dom Space – hyper focused on submissive and the scene

Sub Space – high on feel good chemicals

Links from the show:

The Wood Dom – John Brownstone’s Etsy shop – use code WOODDOM for 20 percent off $25 purchase (November 2016 only!)

Try These Kinky Forced Orgasm Scenarios (Kinkly)

You Don’t Have to Like All Kinds of Pain to Call Yourself a Masochist (Kinkly)

Spankings (podcast episode)

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us Twitter

Message or friend us on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!