"It's my hope that through the Grief’d Up podcast, we spark more of those conversations outside of this setting, that we spark conversations that you can then have with people you love and that you care about."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos, certified grief support specialist and founder of Grieve Leave, delves into the often-unacknowledged grief associated with what she calls "what-would-have-been dates". Rebecca shares her personal experience with the upcoming 10th anniversary of her wedding, despite being divorced. She opens up about the "gaping hole" this date creates on her calendar and the societal silence surrounding such milestones.

Rebecca explores the complexities of acknowledging a past marriage, a relationship that ended, or even a loved one's anniversary after their passing. She shares insights from her TikTok community, introducing terms like "noniversary" and "exiversary" as ways people are finding to name these significant dates. She also reflects on her late father's experience with his wedding anniversary after her mother's death, highlighting the unspoken sadness that often accompanies these dates.

This episode challenges the notion that grief is solely tied to death, expanding the conversation to include mental health, breakups, and other significant life changes. Rebecca encourages listeners to sit in the "ickiness" of these feelings and offers validation for whatever emotions arise on these "what would have been dates". She emphasizes that there's no right or wrong way to honor these moments, whether it's by listening to an old song, looking at pictures, or simply allowing the day to be what it is.

Join Rebecca as she normalizes the quiet grief of lost milestones, fostering a conversation that encourages listeners to feel less alone in their experiences. 

This episode also features the perspectives of Grieve Leave community member Greer, from Arkansas, whose voicemail closes out the episode. If you’d like to leave a voicemail for the Grief’d Up Podcast on this episode’s topic, or on any topic, give us a call: (919) 213-1053.

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