On today’s show, I discuss what happens when sadism shifts from a chosen erotic expression to the only way a top feels seen, safe, or connected. We’ll explore how dominance can begin with presence and intention, but over time, turn into emotional regulation or even identity. This episode isn’t about shame, it’s about reflection. I’ll walk through the psychological dynamics that can make control feel necessary, the signs that dominance may be replacing vulnerability, and how to return to sadism as agency, not survival.

Reference List

Baumeister, R. F. (1997). Evil: Inside human cruelty andviolence. New York, NY: W. H. Freeman.

Foucault, M. (1978). The history of sexuality, volume 1:An introduction (R. Hurley, Trans.). New York, NY: Pantheon Books.

Fromm, E. (1973). The anatomy of human destructiveness.New York, NY: Holt, Rinehart and Winston.

Mokros, A., Osterheider, M., & Nitschke, J. (2011).Sadism in sexual offenders: A behavioral science perspective. Aggression andViolent Behavior, 16(6), 416–423. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2011.04.006

Nitschke, J. P., Mokros, A., Osterheider, M., Marshall, W.L., & Freund, K. (2015). Functional neuroimaging of sexual sadism. Archivesof Sexual Behavior, 44(8), 2161–2171.https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-015-0554-0

Reich, W. (1972). Character analysis (3rd ed., V. R.Carfagno, Trans.). New York, NY: Farrar, Straus and Giroux. (Original workpublished 1933)

Stoléru, S., Fonteille, V., Cornélis, C., Joyal, C., &Moulier, V. (2012). Functional neuroimaging studies of sexual arousal anddesire in human males. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 36(1),148–171. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2011.05.010

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#BDSM #Psychology #Sadism #Agency