When you shrink yourself to keep them, you lose yourself in the process.

This week, Sarah and I are getting into a topic that, honestly, I wish more people were talking about: self-abandonment in relationships. We got a listener letter that really hit home — it’s from a woman caught in that all-too-familiar loop of feeling like she’s giving way more than she’s getting back. You know the drill: inconsistent texting, weirdly distant behavior, and that gut feeling that you’re trying harder than they are.

As we read her letter, we unpack all the little signs of self-abandonment — saying yes when you want to say no, keeping your feelings quiet so you don’t seem “too much,” and hoping that if you’re just patient enough, they’ll change. (Spoiler: they usually don’t.)

We also talk about how these patterns often come from early life experiences (yes, I got personal — I shared a story about my own father that really shaped the way I viewed love and approval). If you’ve ever found yourself over-explaining, over-giving, or just plain exhausted from trying to “earn” someone’s affection, this episode is for you.

Pour yourself a drink, get cozy, and let’s talk about why you deserve to stop shrinking yourself for someone else’s comfort.

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