Reflecting on a former unhealthy and toxic relationship, today I talk about why we stay in these dynamics. Having been on the outside looking in, and then being a part of one has given me more insight, understanding and compassion for those in it. If you are being harmed, please seek help and ensure your safety first. This episode reflects my experience and something I’ve discussed with others who have been in similar dynamics - by no means is it a substitute for a professional opinion. I am sure this is a sensitive topic for many, and I hope that through this episode, there can be more conversations, support, and a willingness to heal our wounds that we often carry forward into our relationships with others.

What I discuss:

2:52 Familiarity with childhood wounds

6:40 Addiction to the hot/cold dynamic

8:20 Anxious/avoidant attachment styles 

10:58 Looking at potential rather than accepting reality 

14:43 Allowing people to cross our boundaries 

16:27 Two journal entries, 13 months apart 

20:08 Having awareness but not taking action 

21:55 How to navigate a toxic relationship

24:00 Reach out for support

25:37 Zero contact

26:40 Take time to heal 

28:34 Questions to reflect on

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Kate is a sound healer based in Port Douglas, Queensland, Australia. After studying marine biology, Kate has travelled across the world and worked in various fields. She has been a scuba diving instructor, worked on super yachts and is also a freediving instructor but has since discovered her calling in helping people heal through sound. She talks about the use of specific instruments, vibrations and frequencies to alter brain waves to promote rest and balance the nervous system. We also talk about how to hold space for people by nourishing ourselves first, the impact this has on relationships when we focus on others at the cost of ourselves and more.

What we discuss:

2:30 What happens with the brain during sound healing

3:55 How Kate get hooked on sound healing

5:50 How the pandemic led her into becoming a sound healer 

8:04 Kate’s adventurous life 

9:26 Discovering freediving 

11:00 Holding space for others in freediving

11:45 What has Kate learned about herself through freediving?

16:55 The gap between knowing something isn’t right and acting on it

18:10 Why do we ignore red flags?

24:30 Interrupting patterns

28:45 Recognising your tank is empty

38:44 Kate's plan with sound healing

Episode resources:

Kate's IG: https://www.instagram.com/kate__godfrey/

Follow Kate's FB page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100066816040511

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Short episode today talking about my decision to ensure my "yes" was filled with conviction rather than FOMO or a fear of disappointing others. I talk about how I create space to give myself time to reflect to decide before jumping to a yes instantly. Do you struggle to say no to things? How do you combat it?

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Today I sit down with Alejandro Pedraza, a psychologist from Mexico who I met through freediving in Bali 3.5 years ago. Alejandro is now a professional vagabond working for a company that essentially has him a part of a human social experiment as he lives and travels with a group of people for months on end. We talk about A LOT of things in this episode: facades we put on, being a recovering people pleaser, understanding the brain and our personalities, attachment styles, the notion of self, relationship dynamics, polyamory and more.

What we discuss:

01:30 Introducing Alejandro

05:30 Emotional boundaries

06:10 People can only keep a facade for 4 months

11:20 The main 3 components that determine emotional reactions

13:30 Setting boundaries

15:15 Being a recovering people pleaser

18:00 Robbing people of opportunities to help themselves

24:45 Challenge your brain by verbalising

26:20 The brain as a predictive organ

31:20 Cognitive biases and why we believe in horoscopes

35:00 Personality tests and their validity

40:45 Attachment styles

45:45 The anxious-avoidant attraction

48:20 The notion of SELF

54:45 The brain just wants to save energy

56:15 How does being a psychologist affect his relationships?

58:04 What Alejandro learned about being polyamorous

1:10:00 Is he still poly?

1:10:56 What’s next?

Episode resources:

Alejandro's IG: https://www.instagram.com/jano_insta/

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Alright... so I got sucked right into the comment section of a video that was seen by too many people. I found myself drawn back into some old thinking patterns and behaviours which allowed me some time to reflect on why we care about what people think of us and how to stop caring to live more peacefully within ourselves. Ultimately, we have no control over what others think so how can we take active steps to let go?

00:47 Storytime: A video that went "viral"

03:36 Understanding where the care comes from

05:10 No separating compliments from criticism

06:28 Accepting that what others think of you is none of your business

09:27 Stop judging others

10:05 Don't assume intentions from actions

11:06 Seek advice from the right people

13:26 Love and acceptance for yourself

14:25 Give yourself grace and space to fail

16:28 Start with affirming yourself

Thanks for tuning in! You can listen to the show anywhere you get your podcasts. Please rate and review the show if you enjoy it.

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Waterbaby, student of yoga & meditation, yoga teacher trainer, scuba diving and freediving instructor and now also the Dutch freediving national record holder, Darja Tjioe has found that the key to self-discovery lies somewhere in between the mat and the ocean. Darja is a dear friend I met through freediving and who has a lot of wisdom and insight. I'm grateful that she agreed to sit with me to celebrate her new records and discuss her journey and what she has learned about herself. 

What we discuss:

0:56 Setting two new Freediving National Records for The Netherlands

2:40 Why freediving? 

3:49 How is freediving a mirror? 

6:00 Realising your own self talk 

8:05 Does freediving expose the inner critic more than other spaces? 

10:30 What does it look like to work through negative self talk? 

11:30 Darja’s daily morning pages

16:10 What role does yoga play? 

20:00 How do we deal with discomfort? 

26:00 What is Vipassana? 

29:00 Are our lives too comfortable? 

33:30 What practices can we apply to become familiar with discomfort? 

38:20 The importance of being present

40:45 The shift towards mindfulness

43:30 How have these practices shaped and changed Darja’s life? 

46:50 Creating space to interrupt old patterns

51:20 What’s the plan for the next few months?

55:10 Embrace the suck 

Episode resources:

Darja Tjioe | Instagram

Darja Tjioe | Facebook

Yoga Here and There | Instagram

Yoga Here and There | Website

Book Darja mentioned: The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

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Say hello or support SELF:

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Welcome to the very first episode of SELF. Today I talk about something that has ruled most of my life - perfectionism and the inner critic. I talk about the impact it has had in my life, on those around me and how I've taken steps to slowly break free. Listen anywhere you get your podcasts and please rate and review the show if you enjoy it.

You can follow me on Instagram @self__podcast and @amandalatetran.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.