It’s time to debunk the toxic myths around sex and age. Does sexual satisfaction drop off as you get older? Absolutely not! In fact, the data tells us the exact opposite is true. Today, anthropologist, bestselling author and my dear friend Dr. Wednesday Martin and I lay out the facts, which is fitting: we’re both in our fifties! If you’re not in your fifties yet, here’s what you can look forward to. It’s the decade many of us hit the reset button on our sexual desires. It’s the decade you start purely having sex for pleasure. And it’s the decade your confidence and communication get even better because you’ve honed your relationship (and career!) skills. Wednesday and I talk about why your fifties are so sexy, the signs of perimenopause and menopause and how to treat both, and our best advice for younger women.

See the full Show Notes at sexwithemily.com

Show Notes:

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When you’re not turned on by your partner, should you open the relationship? What does it mean when they don’t finish during sex? In today’s Hotline Calls episode, I’m taking all your pressing sex questions. First, when you want to bring sex toys and lube into the bedroom, but your partner is firmly opposed…what now? I offer communication tips to help bring down defenses. Next, when you’re loving sex with your partner but they never orgasm, is that a cause for concern? I talk about delayed ejaculation and why it happens. We also get into non-monogamy: when you’re not turned on by your partner, should you open up the relationship? Or is a different, deeper conversation needed? Finally, when you’re happily hooking up, how do you keep casual sex from turning into serious relationships?

Have a question? Call my Hotline 559-TALK-SEX (559-825-5739) or message me at sexwithemily.com/askemily.

Show Notes:

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Bored in bed? It happens. Sexual boredom doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship – but it is a cue that you’re ready for novelty. So save this episode because it’s an entire guide to spicing up your sex. First, I start with the when and where: how does the time of day affect your arousal? And where can you do it besides the bedroom? Next, we make your favorite sex positions more interesting and exciting with tweaks you can try right now. Finally, I give you beginner-friendly kink with sensory deprivation, temperature play and hurts-so-good pain play. Right this way to easy kink and tons of low-lift ways to play.

Show Notes:

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Your sleep affects your sex drive: we know this. The bottom line: if you know the right sleep hacks, you can have much better sex. In this fascinating Best Of episode with Dr. Michael Breus, we dive into the science of sleep and how to leverage it for sexual arousal. Starting with the four chronotypes, your body’s natural disposition to be awake or asleep, we help you figure out how to work with your body (not against it) for sexual arousal. We also discuss snoring – why it happens and how it affects your sexual connection. “I’ve saved more marriages as a sleep therapist than I ever would have as a marital therapist,” says Dr. Breus. In this episode, you’ll learn how to work with your unique circadian rhythm for better sex and communication.

Show Notes:

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Let’s talk solo anal. You may be looking around right now, wondering why anal play is so trendy, and thinking to yourself: “is this actually for me?” But before you jump into the anal deep end with a partner, I’ve got a pro tip: try anal with yourself! On today’s episode, I’m talking through all the positive reasons to explore anal with yourself, no matter what genitals you’ve got. I’m also busting common anal myths and giving you step-by-step tips for exploration based on your anatomy. I’m talking all things toys and insertion for beginners to advanced anal players. Tune in for your solo anal play primer, and keep listening to hear me answer all your booty Q’s.

Show Notes:

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Solo sex (aka masturbation) is legitimate self-care. Better sleep, less stress, glowing skin, heightened immunity – and let’s not forget orgasms (not that I think you would). So on today’s Best Of episode, I’m talking all things solo sex and how to make it work for you. Feel embarrassed or ashamed about it? Or do you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing? I help you create a solo sex routine that matches your lifestyle and get you in the right (sexy) headspace for it. I also take your solo sex questions, including: when your partner asks you to masturbate in front of them, but you feel shy – how do you pull it off? And should you?

Show Notes:

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How do your meals affect your sex drive? Are your hormones interfering with your pleasure? And real talk…does alcohol make it harder for you to orgasm? Dr. Will Cole hosts the podcast The Art of Being Well, and on today’s show, he explains the connection between what you eat and how you feel – both in and out of the bedroom. We discuss sex-supportive nutrients and how to fill your plate for better sex, the real deal on HRT and hormone fluctuation, shame-flammation, and so much more. If you’ve ever wondered how certain foods help or hurt your sex life, this one’s for you.  

Show Notes:

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When it comes to turn ons, we’ve all got our preferences. Maybe you love a deep, sexy voice. Maybe a wicked sense of humor. But there are five sexual arousal styles that apply to most people: you can think of them as the five love languages for sexual excitement. They are: conversation, visuals, touch, play or physical adventure. In this popular Best Of episode, I break down the five styles and how to identify your top one. I share tips for harnessing your arousal, with date ideas and behaviors to spark your sexual curiosity. I also help you understand the key difference between arousal and desire, and take your arousal questions, including: what do you do when medication is numbing your genitals? And when you’re more excited for solo sex than partnered sex – is that a problem?

Show Notes:

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([TW // mentions SA, r*pe] If you would like to skip these portions of the episode, please skip through: 21:30-22:25, 51:30-52:05.)

Porn gets a bad rap – for very understandable reasons. Today, I’m breaking down the reasons why with Dr. Wednesday Martin, and also playing devil’s advocate and giving you a new way to approach it. Can you learn legit sex skills from porn viewing? In this episode, I’m going through all the reasons porn might be triggering for some, so you know how to incorporate it into your relationship or your solo sex in a healthy way. Next, I give tips for how to watch it with a partner, and identify your personal turn-ons. Finally, I talk through edu-porn, audio erotica and other contemporary porn platforms that get you aroused…and sexually educated.

Show Notes:

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Have you ever used FaceTime for sex? Maybe you’re traveling and want to stay connected to your partner. Maybe you’re dating and want to test the waters with someone virtually before having sex IRL. Or maybe the idea just turns you on! No matter the case, today’s episode is all about FaceTime sex and how to pull it off. First, I’m talking prep steps: literally, how do you get in the mood for FaceTime sex and help yourself feel comfortable on-screen? Next, how do you position your camera and what do you actually say in the moment? Finally, I take your questions on FaceTime sex, including: how to spice it up and how do you end a sexting session?

Show Notes:

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