Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective

I wrote about this on the blog a few years ago and wanted a podcast version for people who do not read the blog, or who are new here. I think married men, and married women, masturbate for three reasons: ignorance, selfishness, or addiction. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

Ignorance is the most common and the easiest to fix. They genuinely do not know the damage it does to the relationship, because nobody has told them. They do not talk about sex with their spouse, so either their spouse does not know it is happening or has never said how much it hurts. Often they have simply never been asked to stop.

Selfishness is harder. It is choosing an orgasm over a relationship, because an orgasm alone is easier: you do not have to consider anyone else’s feelings or pleasure, you can focus entirely on yourself, and you never have to be vulnerable. Solo is emotionally safer, and that safety is exactly the problem.

Addiction is different again, because the reason it started stops mattering. The brain is programmed to it and those pathways are hard to stop firing. That is not a willpower problem and it is usually too much to fight alone. If that is where you are, get help rather than another fresh start.

Christmas is nearly here, and with it a lot of stress, anxiety and awkward living arrangements, whether family is coming to you or you are going to them. So this episode is about handling Christmas in a marriage. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

The season bundles its challenges together. Schedules go out the window, the children are excited and slightly feral, stress runs high, the living conditions are rarely ideal, and bad food and late nights leave you feeling generally off. Intimacy is the first thing to get pushed to the back burner, which is unfortunate, because it is precisely when you need it most.

Sex raises oxytocin so you feel loved, and dopamine so you feel like you accomplished something. It increases endorphins, which lift your mood, cut stress, and give your immune system a hand at the exact point that late nights and junk food are undermining it. For women it raises estrogen, which is good for your skin in the week everyone you only see once a year is looking at you. So counteract the Christmas stress rather than surrendering to it.