As SSS duty geezer Leigh Allan and his son and west coast correspondent, Will, record this edition the White Sox have the worst record in either spring training league, which normally would mean absolutely nothing, but this year, well, uh ...

Just how important are preseason results? Well, we have to hope not at all in the case of Luis Robert Jr. and his .158 average, but totally meaningful in the case of Gavin Sheets’ .333. (If you believe either of those averages predict the regular season, I have a bridge over the Chicago River at Michigan Avenue you might be interested in purchasing.)

We try to solve the mystery of why there has been no word from the White Sox on why Eloy Jiménez skipped four games and then forgot how to hit, after crushing the ball before ... but we can’t.

Speaking of Sheets, he’s hitting waaaaay better than any other right field hopeful, so should the White Sox play him there, just for laughs — or should they upgrade the defense by drawing the name of a random fan at that day’s game out of a hat and letting him or her play right?

And speaking of right field (and catcher) hopefuls, we delve into the question of why in the world you would even consider players well past their prime as starters on a team that faces a miserable season (or two, or three) instead of giving youngsters a chance to learn to compete in the big leagues.

Despite such questions, we go through the outlook for the season for both pitchers and position players. There’s even praise for a few, whom we have to hope Sox mismanagment won’t destroy.

And, finally, noting that ticket sales for Opening Day are terrible, we launch into attacks on the miserable treatment of fans by the White Sox (and other MLB teams, but especially the Sox) who seem hell bent to destroy any desire of kids to ever return to the park — wherever that park may be.

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