If a tree falls in a forest of deals at the Winter Meetings, but no one from the White Sox was there to hear it, did it really make a sound?

To wrap up the year, SSS duty geezer Leigh Allan and his son and west coast correspondent, Will, delve into the biggest White Sox free agent contract ever, as the team strives mightily once again to attract all the COVID it can, by following up the Mike Clevinger signing with that of Andrew Benintendi.

The duo agree that, if nothing else, the newest member of the team will provide fans with their biggest bang for the buck in jersey lettering thanks to his 10-letter last name, which may well be the longest on the Sox until Colson Montgomery makes the bigs. As for baseball, they agree it’s a nice signing, if a tad expensive, but just a small step on the way to putting the more than 50 million bucks saved via players no longer on the payroll to useful work.

What more is needed, you ask? How about a cheap, good defensive outfielder to fill in until Oscar Colás is ready for the majors later in the season, one who could play center during the inevitable Luis Robert injury stints, one available on a one-year contract and familiar with the GuRF? (Hint: One with the initials AE fits that description, although the apparently-preferred BH could also do the trick.)

As for the rather huge gap at second base, they recommend a trade with San Diego, sending Liam Hendriks west because you don’t need a closer if you’re never ahead late, throwing in another player or two, and getting one of the Padres’ many extra middle infielders. Will likes some guy named Tatís, but Leigh suggests Jake Cronenworth, even though his 11-letter monicker would knock Benintendi back to second in last name length.

Most of all. in the spirit of the season, they never mention Rick Hahn, Ken Williams, or Jerry Reinsdorf, so there is absolutely no swearing at all.

Otherwise, Happy Holidays to all.

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