The worst thing for a persuader is that your audience members probably won’t ever confront you about your dishonesty or deception. They are not going to tell you that they think you are lying. They’ll just never work with you again and they’ll then tell all their family and friends about the bad experience they had with you behind your back.

Even if you’re an honest person of admirable character, it is human nature for people to cast sweeping judgments and formulate opinions without all the facts. So, if you want genuine trust and lasting persuasion, you must avoid even the slightest appearance of anything that might be considered dishonest. If you never place yourself in a situation where one might be misled about you or your integrity, then your good, hard-earned reputation will never be compromised. Don’t embellish the story to make it sound better; don’t omit certain information to cover your own skin.

What are some nonverbal behaviors that will trigger incongruence and a sense of deception?

Forced eye contact

Shifting back in chair

Rubbing lips

Scratching your face

Dilated pupils

Yawning

Pitch of voice rising