Slate Conversations

When Delores moved to New York City from Jamaica nearly thirty years ago she didn’t know anyone. But soon she found a community of other nannies and learned how to navigate job interviews and “fussy” parents who don’t like nannies to tell their children no. 

In this week’s episode on paid caretaking, we explore the class and power dynamics inherent in care work. Plus, we hear from Faye*, a woman living with debilitating multiple sclerosis, and her husband Murray*, about how hiring outside help for caregiving shifts became essential to supporting their marriage.

Are you taking care of a loved one with MS? Murray suggests starting here for resources. 

*Names have been changed. 

Read Koa Beck’s essay about becoming a foster parent: “Nanny of the State.”

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

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On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth and Jamilah help a listener who emailed us wondering how to break up a friendship. Her son is friends with an obnoxious girl who the parent would just rather not see. But, of course, friendships are complicated… and this might not be as easy as just not inviting this girl over.

We’ll also check in on where the hosts are this week – and then, if you’re coming to hang out on the Slate Plus Playground, the hosts are listening back to their 2024 resolutions and deciding if it truly was the year of “meh.”

If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how.

Jamilah’s check-in: the duck was secured.

Elizabeth’s check-in: fawning and freedom 

Zak’s check-in: how long was winter break, actually? 

Join us on Facebook and email us at [email protected] to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318.

If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts.

Podcast produced by Maura Currie.

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Guest Prudie Anna Sale – host of Slate’s Death, Sex & Money – is joined by illustrator and author JP Brammer. Together, they answer letters about a mom who can’t understand her kid’s gender identity, a painting causing unexpected jealousy, setting the record straight after a bad break up, and how to make things work at a job after it took a long time to find one. 

Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen.

This week’s podcast is produced by Maura Currie, Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, and Anuli Ononye.

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A note: this episode was recorded just minutes after the Palisades Fire reportedly ignited in California. Jamilah and her family are safe as of the airing of this episode. 

If you want to help victims of any of the fires in the Los Angeles metro area, please consider donating to the California Fire Foundation, Direct Relief, World Central Kitchen, or CORE. 

On this episode: Jamilah, Zak, and Elizabeth help the favorite parent. This 6-year-old says she might love mom more than dad… and dad is, understandably, upset. We’ll offer some assurances to both parents — and some evergreen advice to love harder. 

After that, of course, we’ll circle up to share some Triumphs and Fails. 

Join us on Facebook and email us at [email protected] to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318.

If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts.

Podcast produced by Maura Currie.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s show, it’s an all-movie week! Isaac Butler — author of The Method: How the Twentieth Century Learned to Act and host of the new Criterion Channel series, The Craft of Acting — sits in for Stephen Metcalf. First, the panel explores The Brutalist, director Brady Corbet’s two-part epic following the life of László Tóth (Adrien Brody), a Hungarian-born Jewish architect who survives the Holocaust then emigrates to the United States. Then, the three unpack Carry-On, an action thriller set in Los Angeles International Airport. It’s a well-made film with a dumb concept, and smashed Netflix records over the holiday. Finally, it’s that time of year again: Dana leads the panel through Slate’s Movie Club 2024, a cherished tradition in which she chats with other critics over email about the year in cinema. (Read her first post, here.)

In the exclusive Slate Plus segment, the all-movie theme continues, as the three spoil The Brutalist.  

Email us at [email protected]. 

Endorsements:

Dana: Adaptation, directed by Spike Jonze and written by Charlie Kaufman. 

Julia: A two-part endorsement: (1) My Cousin Vinny and (2) the production design of Three Men and a Baby (that apartment!) 

Isaac: “Eat What You Kill,” a masterfully reported piece by J. David McSwane for ProPublica. 

Podcast production by Vic Whitley-Berry. Production assistance by Kat Hong.

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Before the 2024 election, Maureen and Jayna had hoped to attend a historic inauguration for Kamala Harris in Washington, D.C. But when Donald Trump won the presidency, the lesbian couple scrapped their trip—and booked a fact-finding mission to Portugal instead. On this episode of How To!, they talk with co-host Carvell Wallace about their plans to leave the U.S.—and start a new life somewhere they’ll feel safer. And, Jen Barnett of Expatsi offers up advice about Portugal and other LGBTQ+ friendly countries, the implications for taxes and international travel (including return trips to the States), and what expat-curious listeners need to know about raising kids, voting, EU citizenship—and how to take the first step.

Links Mentioned: 

The Expatsi Test

Mindful Migrant on TikTok

If you liked this episode check out: How To Uproot Your Life and How To Live Anywhere in the World.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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Whether it's a nanny taking us to school or a home health aide helping us age in place, most of us will rely on paid caregivers at some point in our lives. For the next two episodes, we'll talk to professional caregivers about the emotional and economic reality of the intimate work they do.

In episode one, we hear from two eldercare workers: Rahn*, whose relationships with patients have helped heal emotional wounds from his childhood, and Tita Rose, a Filipina immigrant who uncovered exploitation at a nursing home. Plus Goldi, a nanny, recounts how she handled a father’s inappropriate advances and how that experience changed her approach to working for parents.

*We used first names or pseudonyms in this story. 

Will you be in the Bay Area on January 31st? Anna is hosting Sketchfest, a comedy show at Club Fugazi at 7pm. Get tickets and more info here. 

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy sits down with actress and author Mandy Gonzalez for a wide-ranging conversation about parenting, building a creative mom group, and enduring cancer treatment with your head held high. Mandy also answers questions from our own budding Broadway stars.

Lucy also shares a quick update about her mom's cancer journey - and Care & Feeding's production schedule in the new year.

Join us on Facebook and email us at [email protected] to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318.

If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus to help support our work.

Podcast produced by Maura Currie.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guest Prudie Kristen Meinzer is joined by podcast producer Vic Whitley-Berry. Together, they answer letters from a concerned spouse over their husband’s drinking, a mom trying to get her daughter to apologize to her aunt, and someone who can’t avoid going down the rabbit hole of social media.

Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen.

This week’s podcast is produced by Maura Currie, Daisy Rosario, and Anuli Ononye.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re going to see if one American family can flip the usual, tortured and tedious script for arguing about politics and do something more interesting. Jenn and Todd Brandel sit down with their dad, Bruce, to see if they can come to a better understanding about what has shaped their different political views. Mónica Guzmán, senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times, is back to provide some insightful post-game analysis. In this second episode of our special two-part series, she breaks down what went well, what got a little messy, and what we can all apply to our own conversations with loved ones. 

Listen to the first part of our series: “How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 1”

If you liked this episode, you might also like: “How To Rescue Someone From a Conspiracy Theory.”

Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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