FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/c/slopquest  It’s St. Patrick’s Day, Ryan is not wearing green and Andy wants to claim his rightful pinchings. Then Andy plays a devasting testimonial about a woman whose heart was broken by a man who wouldn’t let her fart. Then the boys talk about how irresponsible Los Angeles dog owners are and then we find out a dodgy dog secret about ‘O’Neill. Then HGTV does Goon Cave Makeovers. O’Neill chastises Andy for his public bit addiction. Then he talks like a cave man before the come up with a Gooning For God Christian goon plan.  Then O’Neill orders a piss test for Andy. Andy contemplates using a paring of step ladders as a nice tv dinner tray. The boys reveal that O’Neill’s studio actually has trash piled to the ceiling because he won’t throw anything away. A listener’s wife won’t let him listen to the podcast while he washes dishes and the boys come to the rescue. And finally, O’Neill remembers how much he hates PF Changs.

Full episodes at Patreon.com/slopquest

O’Neill has a concussion and Andy smells blood in the water and goes nuts on O’Neill. Then he reveals that the concussion has given him impression powers. There’s some Princess and The Pee talk, Pocket Watch hypnosis, and performing stand up concussed. Then White Lotus breaks the R word taboo. Andy tells O’Neill about Jimmy Carter and the “prison planet” conspiracy and O’Neill converts to Gnostic Christianity. They reminisce about trashy ladies with Tweetie Bird tattoos. Then Andy and Ryan come up with a game plan for having to sit next to a dead guy on a plane. Ryan tries to hypnotize Andy with a dangling finger. A rich guy blows his penis out with enlargement surgery. Then O’Neill sings the praises of David LoPan . Then he humble brags about a woman attacking him in his sleep. Andy criticizes O’Neill’s impression of his own voice which he considers “performativly sexy”.   Then they talk about a fair price for crimes. A cab driver tries to bang Andy’s ex girlfriend and left hilarious messages. Then Andy plays a heart warming story of a pastor beating up a kid for “playing games with God”.

Originally recorded 3.03.2025

The boys talk about about an Action News chopper that only looks for breaking adult entertainment. Andy doesn’t like reality and he’s completely comfortable about it. Then he uses gnomes from The Dollar Store and uses it as a way derail bedtime. Ryan and Andy talk about how cool they are about cuss words and then Ryan feels old at a softball game. Then they talk about raising the age of consent to 25 to get rid of all creepers. Then they talk about comedy that doesn’t hold up anymore and the seriousness of male depression. O’Neill remembers back when he used a soundboard to prank call Andy during the Boner City USA days. Then they get a mental diagnosis from a science guy. Then Andy finds the Redditor who thought he liked doody stuff and found out…that he didn’t.

Andy has a new hit theme song. O’Neill wants two apartments, one for sex, or maybe just two mattresses or maybe just a sex shack. Hooters goes tits up on the business angle. Andy has a dream that someone steal’s O’Neill new stand up bit. Then Ryan does stand up at a restaurant and watches a guy bomb harder than he’s ever seen before. Then Andy watches a man have all his comedy dreams fall apart in real time. Then they talk about hilarious Titanic improv scenes. O’Neill tries to plan the ultimate self defense jacket and there’s some talk of a second pot cast. Then they rip on billionaires for a bit. Andy and Ryan decide to review the Bible and Ryan tries to tell Andy what he would be in the 1950’s. Then they write a new redpill post voiced by Siri and it’s great.

Andrew has a bad dream about kissing butts and O’Neill doesn’t comfort him at all. Then O’Neill comes up with a Scared Straight idea that is unhinged. They talk about Andy getting sent to RFK’s fat camp. Then Andy makes a LinkedIn page for Slop Quest lawyer, Bruce Comanche and blast everyone with an incredible new business idea about “hard power” and a real East are business idea that uses an obscure law from the 1800’s to work. This episode was cut short because of a technical issue,  next episode has been recorded longer to make up for it.

We’re live from the “O’Neill Home Studio” and Andy blows it apart by censoring the opening credits. Then a ghost knocks over O’Neill’s sparring helmet and freaks us out. Then they discuss how to judge a person’s intelligence based on what they think heaven is like.  Andy then plays delusional music from Instagram and O’Neill loses it. Then Andy’s ex boss sings insults at people and the boys put offensive words in their passwords that get them in trouble. Also, Ryan and Andrew take cheap flights where passengers try to sneak in bags of underwear. It’s a doozy!

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest 

Andy introduces O’Neill to Clutch Cargo, then O’Neill dives into the opiate prevention scam. Then he repitches an idea about medical jargon with the phrase “Kick Your Heart in The Nards”. Then the boys talk about Ray Stevens doing the theme song for Narcos. Then they come up with an idea for a comedy band where the gimmick is just that the band has shoes on their knees. Then Andy enrages O’Neill when he doesn’t understand what a “twist” in a movie is or a “spoiler”. I can’t articulate how much this bothers O’Neill. Then a man is emasculated by a charcuterie board and O’Neill completely loses it. Then we talk eating a chicken pot pie in bed. Then Andy blows O’Neill’s mind with Japanese KFC Christmas.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest 

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/c/slopquest Ryan hits a major roadblock with his 5’9 bit and he’s unable to salvage it.  Andy takes issue with Ryan’s “it’s always been the same” history hot takes. Andy has to take muscle relaxers and it makes O’Neill definitely not relax. O’Neill then tries to sneak into a ski resort with Ari using a woman’s ski pass and a mask. Then they talk Multi Level Marketing schemes. Then Andy can’t stop looking at the news, sleep, or function. He goes to O’Neill for solid advice. Andy tries to trick his wife into thinking she sent him a fake text. Then Andy twerks for a t-shirt on Conan. Ryan tries to make Andy less gullible but it doesn’t take. The soundboard quits working on Andy and he has to do all the sound effects by hand. O’Neill shares his garlic secret. Aaron feels the repercussions of the air quality problems. Ryan calls out Erin Brockovich in a surprising turn of events. Then the boys talk drunk business. Then there’s a wild neighborhood update with Aaron. Ryan refuses to get off a private jet because it’s too comfortable. Then they talk about real life Indecent Proposals and haggle over prices.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/c/slopquest The boys recover (for now) from the Los Angeles fires. They talk about some of the scariest stuff they experienced and O’Neill is ready for looters. The go over there go bag requirements and scrambling to save nude photos.  Andy has a dream that really bothers O’Neill. Then O’Neill becomes a dream interpreter with middling success. Andy finds a monetized AI song that’s filthier than any Rowdy Uncle Ronnie and they struggle to figure out how many years we have left as a society. Then they talk about a series of bars to unite lesbians and bros in common allyship once and for all. Then Andy breaks down the increasing hotness of internet femboys to Ryan who is baffled. Then they praise some amazing firefighter pilots who saved our butts. Then they talk mediation etiquette. Then Ryan proposes an amazing new movie idea. Andy agrees to full butt nudity in the movie.