May 29 - Buy the book!

It’s hard to have hope all the time. To feel uplifted and always inspired for life to arrive each day. Finding that deeper, inner lightness that raises your spirit and sends you into the unknown of each sober day can be a chore. But try. There will be things that tear you down, traffic, worry, bills, relationships (relationshits), kids, courts, fines, jail time, death,… Am I getting carried away here? That is how the mind works sometimes, isn’t it? One little thing can turn into a snowball for everything. When you feel you’re at your lowest, remember that you’re still going up. Don’t let that one thing become everything. Don’t make mountains out of molehills. You may have troubles, but take a look back and see how far you’ve come. See how far that small piece of hope you grabbed has led you. You are further away than you thought you were.

Reflections

How far have you come? Where would you be if you didn’t try to get sober?

Daily Challenge

Take some time to congratulate yourself for your efforts in sobriety and for continuing to try. You deserve it.

May 28 - Buy the book!

I have heard it said that we have a disease of perception. How true that statement is. Addicts and alcoholics have a distorted sense of reality, which is something we must work on. After years of thinking only of ourselves, meeting our own needs, and using/drinking in isolation, our view of how things should be can be far removed from what others are experiencing. Our point of view can be severely distorted. That is why doing things like going to meetings and therapy is so strongly suggested. We get to hear others share their views and maybe get a glimpse of our own perception of the world. One of my favorite A.A. speakers, Paul McQ., talks about being a man trapped in a glass where he can’t read the label. I like that because it rings true for me. I need other people to read the label and tell me what my ingredients are.

Reflections

Do you have a solid view of yourself? Do you have a disease of perception, too?

Daily Challenge

This week, go to a meeting you have never been to. Look up a therapist or call your sponsor.

May 27 - Buy the book!

Why is it that when we are drinking, we can ignore all the drama and just not care about most things, but as soon as we get sober, we somehow start having opinions about other people’s shit? We start paying attention to what “they” do, how “they” act, and what “they” are saying. It’s like we get so involved in other people’s shit that we don’t have any time for our own. Wait a minute! That’s exactly what it is. How convenient! We spend so much time focusing on other people’s shortcomings that we can no longer pay attention to our own. Seems like another form of denial, doesn’t it? It kind of is. Maybe - just maybe - you can put down that magnificent magnifying mind and point the barrel at the mirror for a while.

Reflections

Why do you think you are so focused on other people’s faults and not your own?

Daily Challenge

Today, count how often you think or bitch about someone else or something in your life that you have no control over. You’d be surprised how often you do.

May 26 - Buy the book!

Here are some thoughts on meditation. Some of us find it best to meditate in the morning as our day begins. Some do it in the evening or even on their lunch breaks. Pages 86-87 of the A.A. Big Book describes some simple rituals around prayer and meditation that might be helpful. There really are no steadfast rules around meditation. The only rule I have found is that you should attempt to do it, no matter how you feel about it or how awkward it might feel. Take your phone out, set a timer for ten minutes, hit the timer, and close your eyes. Open your eyes after the timer goes off. That is a simple beginning. You can add to the practice as time passes, but you must do it to get its benefits. It’s that simple. Most people think they don’t have the time, but trust me, you have the time. You’re not that busy.

Reflections

Why do you not meditate more? Take a break. Relax. Everybody’s doing it.

Daily Challenge

Make a comfortable place in your home to meditate. Dedicate a corner and buy a nice meditation pillow.

May 25 - Buy the book!

It’s one thing to ask for help. It’s another thing entirely to receive it. For some reason, some of us can get the courage to ask someone for help, but when it comes to receiving the help that we asked for, it becomes nearly impossible. We get caught up in old patterns of thinking and self-reliance. We think we know better and give it another “college try.” For whatever reason, we take back the reins of our lives, and we scream one more time into the void, “Yah mule,” like so many other times. When you ask for help, try to remain open. If you knew what to do, you would have done it already. So, give yourself a break. You don’t know the answer. Let someone else have an opportunity to guide you. You never know, it just might work.

Reflections

Can you receive help? It may not be the help you imagined, but it is help. Consider it.

Daily Challenge

Ask for help on some small thing today. See if it reduces your load a little.

May 24 - Buy the book!

My sponsor once led a meeting where he decided the topic would be “The spiritual malady,” and I had no fucking clue what that was. Then, the asshole (my sponsor) called on me to speak. I, of course, tried to bullshit and sound smarter than I was. I fumbled a few words out of my mouth and tried to put some ideas together, but I had no idea. I ended my share as quickly as possible and let everyone get on with their meeting. That meeting led me to look into this “Spiritual Malady” business much closer. So, I hunted the interwebs and found numerous discussions on the topic. Accumulating a rough definition, I began to see that I have always had a “spiritual disease or ailment.” I have always felt separated from everyone and everything. I have had a hole in my soul for as long as I have been alive. From birth, I have had this nagging and gnawing sensation that I had, at some point, lost some magnificent and radiant part of myself that I could never get back. A deepening emptiness that got worse every year and significantly worse whenever I got sober. I know what restless, irritable, and discontent are with every fiber of my being.

Reflections

Do you know what a spiritual malady is? Do you feel different today?

Daily Challenge

Write down your definition of a “Spiritual Malady.”

May 23 - Buy the Book!

Expectations can really take all the fun out of life. We want something, so we work hard to get it, and when we don’t get what we want, we get discouraged, angry, or upset. It can really get disheartening and make a person want to give up trying. But don’t you fucking think about it! This may be a foreign concept, but the results are not up to you. You don’t have control over the output, only the action. It’s important to consider your motivation when approaching new projects or endeavors. Suppose your intentions are not good, or you only take action for a certain result or reason. In that case, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Again, taking action is its own reward. The work is your responsibility and the reward, not the results.

Reflections

Are you taking action for a specific result? What if you don’t achieve it? Will you still do the work?

Daily Challenge

What do you really want to do? What’s in your heart? What is your life’s task? What do you owe yourself and the world to do? Do that.

May 22 - Buy the book!

When we live as we have, we find ways to act and behave that are not always in tune with others. We become so selfish and self-centered that we neglect or even forget others altogether. This can cause a lot of undesired friction among families and friends. It takes a real effort to free ourselves from this kind of thinking. But it’s not just our thinking that got us here. It was also our actions. So, it would just be fucking silly to assume that only our new thinking would make it better. It takes direct, consistent action to change our thinking. This new life can only be experienced; it is not something you philosophize or think about. It’s something you do, and we must approach our problems from a new direction and act our way into right thinking and not think our way into right acting.

Reflections

How much time do you spend thinking about a problem versus acting on your problem?

Daily Challenge

Take more action today. What can you DO today?

May 21 - .Buy the book!

There will be a time when your mind calms down. When the buzz stops buzzing, the voices inside your head no longer contemplate suicide or homicide. It will happen quickly - or slowly - but it will happen if you continue to do the things everyone suggests in recovery. There will be days that are full of nothing. The best days of absolute serenity. You will spend hours sitting on your back patio or in your bedroom, reading, playing games with your children, or taking long walks in a park to watch the sunset. You will know peace at some point. Do not confuse the feeling of peace with boredom. This is not complacency. It’s comfort. And at times like this, you must strive to remember how badly you desired these moments.

Reflections

Do you remember what it was like when you hit bottom? They often call it “The dark night of the soul.” Did you ever have one?

Daily Challenge

Think of a place in your home filled with peace and comfort. How can you make that place more comfortable? If you don’t have a place, create one.