May 21 - .Buy the book!

There will be a time when your mind calms down. When the buzz stops buzzing, the voices inside your head no longer contemplate suicide or homicide. It will happen quickly - or slowly - but it will happen if you continue to do the things everyone suggests in recovery. There will be days that are full of nothing. The best days of absolute serenity. You will spend hours sitting on your back patio or in your bedroom, reading, playing games with your children, or taking long walks in a park to watch the sunset. You will know peace at some point. Do not confuse the feeling of peace with boredom. This is not complacency. It’s comfort. And at times like this, you must strive to remember how badly you desired these moments.

Reflections

Do you remember what it was like when you hit bottom? They often call it “The dark night of the soul.” Did you ever have one?

Daily Challenge

Think of a place in your home filled with peace and comfort. How can you make that place more comfortable? If you don’t have a place, create one.

May 20 - Buy the book!

Experience, strength, and hope. This is the format we follow when we share with others. This basic format allows us to talk about where we’ve been and how we got here, the process of working a program (transformation), and finally, the encouragement that the listener can do the same. It’s not easy to pour your heart out to strangers, hoping they will someday acquire what you have found. Yet, we do this week after week, and some of us get discouraged at the precession of the “passing parade” of alcoholics and addicts. But after developing compassion and empathy for the addict or alcoholic, the irony is that there is plenty of opportunity to feel compassion and empathy in the rooms of recovery. It can be downright depressing. But on that rare occasion, someone walks in, sits down, opens their ears, closes their mouth, hears the message of experience, strength, and hope, and then stays a while. And they heal. And they do recover.

Reflections

Have you ever thought about your story of experience, strength, and hope? What is it?

Daily Challenge

Write it out. Put your story down on paper so you can better communicate it to others.

May 19 - Buy the book!

Man! You know those moments when nothing goes your way? You struggle to make ends meet, skimp, save, and feel like you’re doing all the right things, and when you least expect it or need it, something else breaks? The car breaks down. The washing machine just stops working. The water heater doesn’t heat. You lose a can of soup. Etcera! Last year was one of the worst years I have had in a long time. It seemed, at every turn, it rained and then poured. I would overcome one thing, and another would pop up to take its place. There is a video (see link below) where this “Irish Uncle loses his soup” and throws a cringy-man-fit you must see to believe. At one point, he shouts, “The madness of life!” And in that scream, I can see all of the anger and frustration that I have ever had; how I have felt throughout the years, at any given time, when things just aren’t going my way. Today, instead of throwing a fit, I can only laugh at the absurdity of my childish desire to make a can of soup “APPEAR!” It’s just soup, for fuck's sake.

Reflections

When was the last time you threw an adult fit? How did it feel afterward?

Daily Challenge

Watch: https://youtu.be/Duh-jWfOcvg “Irish Uncle loses his soup.”

Support the podcast and buy the book!⁠

In this episode of SoberPod, Carl reads from his book and discusses the topic of anger and losing control. He shares personal experiences of throwing adult fits and reflects on the consequences of such behavior. Carl also introduces a five-step process from Stoicism to manage anger and respond wisely. He emphasizes the importance of self-monitoring, cognitive distancing, postponement, modeling virtue, and functional analysis. The episode concludes with a call to support Chelsea and a reminder to stay active and sober.

May 18 - Buy the book

Sitting across the room, I could see Edmund was fiddling with his Styrofoam cup and carving a pattern on the sides with his fingernail. Edmund was not like me. He was a much older man, a minority. And I am as non-minority as they come. As we all did, he listened to the opening speaker, and after they were done, they announced, “And Edmund is our main speaker.” I really thought we were nothing alike when I looked at Edmund, but after he began to speak, almost every word that came out of his mouth for the next forty-five minutes was my exact story. All you would have to do is change the names and locations, and it was as though Edmund and I were switched at birth. They say, “look for the similarities and not the differences,” when getting into “the rooms,” but in this case, how could I do anything else? It was literally my story being spoken.

Reflections

Have you ever heard a stranger tell your story? Are we really that unique?

Daily Challenge

Find ways to share your story. You never know the impact you might have on someone.

May 17

We were “driven by a hundred forms of fear.” This is what the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous says. I couldn’t agree more. How often have you been fearful of not getting something you want or of losing something you have? Out of that sentence, we still have ninety-eight more forms of fear to deal with. WTF! That’s a lot of fear. So many situations, relationships, pain, injury, finances, security, sexual relations, etc. It’s a lot of shit! Too much shit to account for on this page. So, what does one do with all this fear? Well, the Big Book suggests taking an inventory and attempting to see where these natural instincts got misdirected/warped and became our mental liabilities. The thought that we are driven by fear (and mostly in our own heads) can be a shock to some of us, but once it’s put down on paper, the idea becomes all too clear.

Reflections

Have you attempted anything like this in your life? Is now the time? If you have done it already, what was your takeaway?

Daily Challenge

Look into the 12 Steps and see if they might help you. For example, search: “12 Steps of A.A.” If you have done them already, review your Fourth Step again. Is there anything you left out?

May 16

What are your hands and feet doing right now? Where are they? Really? That’s exactly where you’re supposed to be. Doesn’t that feel good? All your life has led up to this moment, right here, right now. Every decision from birth to this moment has guided you here. Is that not remarkable? Look around you. Are you safe? Do you have food and shelter? Do you? Lucky motherfucker! No matter where you are today, be there. Be aware of every motherfucking thing. Enjoy it to the fullest extent. Take it all in, and remember that you are exactly where you need to be today.

Reflections

Where did you think you should be instead? Are your thoughts about yourself based on reality? Are your thoughts grounded in gratitude?

Daily Challenge

Look around you. Be grateful for the basics today.

May 15

Fuck! I never call my mother. I really should. She is getting up there in age, and she deserves a better son. It’s hard, sometimes, in the thick of life, to stop and call your parents. Also, sometimes I don’t want to relive the past, and when I see my mother, it reminds me of some fucked-up shit. It’s not that I dislike her. I have a hard time with my emotions relating to the past. It’s why I go to A.C.A. and why I see a therapist. The reason why I feel I should call my mother is two-fold. One: that I really should call my mother and be a good fucking son. She carried me for nine months and put food on the table. She could have given up or given me up, and she didn’t. Two: I need to face the past and let it go. I/We/You need to move on and get over that shit. It was a lifetime ago. Tell you what, if I call my mom, you will call yours. Agreed?

Reflections

Why do you not call your family? Is there something in the past still disturbing you?

Daily Challenge

Call your mother/father or guardian. The guardian that tried to raise you. Just make the call. No excuses.

May 14

Every day I get up and take long, deep breaths listening to Headspace. Then I watch “The morning wake up” on the app and follow it up with 15 minutes of guided meditation. Toward the end of the meditation, there is a moment when the guy says, “Let the mind think if the mind has been wanting to think.” And I say, “No. Fuck you, mind!” That’s gotten us into a lot more trouble than it’s worth. So, I don’t think. That is my cue to interrupt the mind or my “Self” and take a page from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (Page 63). It is the Third-Step prayer that I have taken the time to memorize. It reminds me of my selfish nature and that I should be focused outside of myself throughout the day. This ritual has become routine and is an important reminder of my recovery today.

Reflections

Do you have a ritual?

Daily Challenge

Memorize the Third-Step prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, That victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy Way of life, May I do Thy will always! (The wording is, of course, quite optional)

May 13

We often relate too strongly to our lower self. What do we mean by that? Well, it’s the go-to identity some of us use in our daily lives. We have discussed it as being the “baddie” or “playing for the bad team.” In some psychology circles, they call it “The shadow self.” Sounds kinda ominous. No matter how you define it, that lower self can be a lifelong relationship that is hard to shake. We believe that is what defines us. Being a bad-ass motherfucker, tough as nails, etc. But are we really? And is that what we really want? Sometimes that persona may be needed when defending yourself from some thugs in a grocery store parking lot. Still, it’s seldom the foot you would like to lead with in your daily life. It causes more harm than good. Would you not agree?

Reflections

What is stopping you from acting on the nature of your higher self? Who do you admire that has led an extraordinary life?

Daily Challenge

Challenge your sense of self today to lead a mighty life.