May 16

What are your hands and feet doing right now? Where are they? Really? That’s exactly where you’re supposed to be. Doesn’t that feel good? All your life has led up to this moment, right here, right now. Every decision from birth to this moment has guided you here. Is that not remarkable? Look around you. Are you safe? Do you have food and shelter? Do you? Lucky motherfucker! No matter where you are today, be there. Be aware of every motherfucking thing. Enjoy it to the fullest extent. Take it all in, and remember that you are exactly where you need to be today.

Reflections

Where did you think you should be instead? Are your thoughts about yourself based on reality? Are your thoughts grounded in gratitude?

Daily Challenge

Look around you. Be grateful for the basics today.

May 15

Fuck! I never call my mother. I really should. She is getting up there in age, and she deserves a better son. It’s hard, sometimes, in the thick of life, to stop and call your parents. Also, sometimes I don’t want to relive the past, and when I see my mother, it reminds me of some fucked-up shit. It’s not that I dislike her. I have a hard time with my emotions relating to the past. It’s why I go to A.C.A. and why I see a therapist. The reason why I feel I should call my mother is two-fold. One: that I really should call my mother and be a good fucking son. She carried me for nine months and put food on the table. She could have given up or given me up, and she didn’t. Two: I need to face the past and let it go. I/We/You need to move on and get over that shit. It was a lifetime ago. Tell you what, if I call my mom, you will call yours. Agreed?

Reflections

Why do you not call your family? Is there something in the past still disturbing you?

Daily Challenge

Call your mother/father or guardian. The guardian that tried to raise you. Just make the call. No excuses.

May 14

Every day I get up and take long, deep breaths listening to Headspace. Then I watch “The morning wake up” on the app and follow it up with 15 minutes of guided meditation. Toward the end of the meditation, there is a moment when the guy says, “Let the mind think if the mind has been wanting to think.” And I say, “No. Fuck you, mind!” That’s gotten us into a lot more trouble than it’s worth. So, I don’t think. That is my cue to interrupt the mind or my “Self” and take a page from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (Page 63). It is the Third-Step prayer that I have taken the time to memorize. It reminds me of my selfish nature and that I should be focused outside of myself throughout the day. This ritual has become routine and is an important reminder of my recovery today.

Reflections

Do you have a ritual?

Daily Challenge

Memorize the Third-Step prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, That victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy Way of life, May I do Thy will always! (The wording is, of course, quite optional)

May 13

We often relate too strongly to our lower self. What do we mean by that? Well, it’s the go-to identity some of us use in our daily lives. We have discussed it as being the “baddie” or “playing for the bad team.” In some psychology circles, they call it “The shadow self.” Sounds kinda ominous. No matter how you define it, that lower self can be a lifelong relationship that is hard to shake. We believe that is what defines us. Being a bad-ass motherfucker, tough as nails, etc. But are we really? And is that what we really want? Sometimes that persona may be needed when defending yourself from some thugs in a grocery store parking lot. Still, it’s seldom the foot you would like to lead with in your daily life. It causes more harm than good. Would you not agree?

Reflections

What is stopping you from acting on the nature of your higher self? Who do you admire that has led an extraordinary life?

Daily Challenge

Challenge your sense of self today to lead a mighty life.

Buy the book!

May 12

In the Big Red Book of A.C.A., there are affirmations on page 329 that we should be reading each day. There are 23 of them, and they say things like, “It is okay to trust myself;” “It is okay to feel angry;” “It is okay to say, ‘I don’t know,” and “It is okay to dream and have hope.” As much as I try, I find it hard to believe what I read. Intellectually, I understand that I have inherent value as a human being and/or child of God. Still, in my heart of hearts, there is a voice that says, “You’re not good enough. You don’t deserve it. No matter how hard you try, you will always be less than.” This is what some of us fight against each day we wake up. My current sponsor calls it “88.9 KFUK Radio,” which plays in his head all day, too. What does the radio in your head play?

Reflections

Do you have an inner voice that is hard to silence? What does it say most of the time?

Daily Challenge

Visit https://adultchildren.org/meditation - Visit the ACA site and read their daily affirmation book each morning.

May 11

It doesn’t have to be this way. It may feel like it, but it doesn’t. You don’t ever have to drink or drug again if you don’t want to. There are many options and pathways to change. You may feel like you have tried them all. But have you? Have you tried them all? Bet you haven’t! But you have attempted to be fucked up. You have tried being stoned and on the low side of the road more often than not. So, why not try something new and not pick up? And, just for today, try something different from what you have done in the past. Today, you don’t have to do what you’ve always done if you don’t want to.

Reflections

Does it have to be this way today? Am I living a life of freedom or bondage? What has me in bondage? What allows me freedom?

Daily Challenge

Meditate for 20 minutes today. Pick a comfortable spot and set a timer. Close your eyes and breathe. It doesn’t matter what your brain does. Just keep your eyes closed and breathe until the timer goes off.

Are you doing enough for the person/people around you? What have you done lately? Thousands of people around you would kill to have what you have, and all you can do is demand more? What the fuck is wrong with you? Give. Give. Give. Give as though your life depends on it, because it does. We don’t mean give your money or property or any other material thing, but give of yourself. Give from your heart. Give from the compassionate center of your soul. That is what is at stake from day to day. Be prepared to give what you have been given because, as some bald white guys in A.A. say, “You can only keep what you have by giving it away.”

Reflections

Where do you hold back? What can you bring to another person today to make their day brighter?

Daily Challenge

Do you sit in meetings and browse your phone? Stop that shit. Try looking each person in the eye as they speak, and really listen.

Do you know the movie “The Matrix?” What if I told you that it didn’t matter if Neo took the red or blue pill? Why? Because no matter where Neo ends up, he will arrive with the same fucked-up brain that he started with. Just like you. No matter where you go, there you are. No amount of distance or change of surroundings will turn you into a different person. Moving to a new place or moving in with that girl/guy will not make you any different. No new jacket or $400 pair of red-soled shoes. You will still be you. It wasn’t the blue or the red pill that changed Neo; it was the choice he made to change.

Reflections

Are you making a choice to change?

Daily Challenge

If you are sure you’ve made a choice to change, what tangible things have you done to prove it?

“If she would only understand." “If he could just stop trying to control me.” “If I only got that promotion.” “If I could have graduated high school instead of fucking up all the time.” Things would be different. Sometimes we have this “wishing disease” where we wish for things to be different and get stuck in an alternate imaginary universe on the planet of “If.” Children “wish” all the time. Bedtime stories are made of wishes and fantasies of fairy godparents coming to save children from the wicked evil-doers. But we are not children. Nobody is coming to save you. You’re it! We live on Earth, and things are what they seem no matter how often you want to “If” or “wish” them away. Instead of wishing for things to be different, have you ever thought of trying to wish for things as they are?

Reflections

If only I could wish for things as they are.

Daily Challenge

List one thing that you need to accept today to move on with your life. You don’t need to accept it. Just write it down. Work on it when the time is right.