Is Christmas the most wonderful time of the year? Really? For many of us solos, it is often one of the most challenging times of the year, if we’re honest. When we first got married, we imagined a beautiful life, an ideal marriage, and perfect holidays. Especially after our kids were born, Christmas took on a new magical meaning. But now all of that is behind us, and our life looks very different. When we get into the holidays, we can be consumed with questions of what if… What if I could’ve kept the marriage together? What if I had a partner now? Sometimes we can even romanticize the memories of what we used to have. The Christmas season brings the hopes and dreams we used to have, back to the surface. When we see all the Christmas ads, and hear the Christmas music, undoubtedly, from time to time, some of those memories pop up, bringing with it a certain ache inside. We do our best to create the magic of Christmas for our kids but for many of us, if we are honest, we are faking it. So it begs the question, what is so wonderful about life? In this episode, we explore this.

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When the foundation we built for our home and family gets destroyed, whether through a divorce, the death of a spouse, or even the unexpected, life-altering news that you are going to parent alone, it can lead to a real sense of despair. Feelings of failure and unworthiness can permeate our minds. For many of us, it’s a natural stretch to have a sense of worth in brokenness when it feels like all we have are the scraps or pieces of what ‘used to be’… and the exhaustion of trying to keep those pieces together. As we talk about often, it is in these moments that we are closer - or maybe it is better said - God is closer to our brokenheartedness. But how do we actualize a sense of empowerment when we are struggling to just get by?

Our guest today is Toni Collier the founder of an international women’s ministry called Broken Crayons Still Color, which helps women process through brokenness and get to hope. She is a Speaker, Host, and Author of Brave Enough to be Broken.

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Holidays bring out unique and challenging situations for Solo parents. Having to interact with old relationships from our past, whether interacting with your ex, ex-in-laws, or stepping into our own family, can sometimes heighten our sense of failure and inadequacy. Or maybe it’s being around healthy relationships that remind us, in this vulnerable season, of what we don’t have. Being home for the holidays can impact our self-worth. So as we go into the holiday season, we might ask if it is even worth spending time with family when it just heightens my anxiety and negative feelings. So how do we cope with those family dynamics, or those dynamics with people from our past, and try to maintain a positive outlook not only for our kids, but also for our well-being? Today we will discuss this and identify five tips to approach this holiday season with strength.

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Mental health has become so much a part of our culture’s narrative these days. As single parents, we certainly are acquainted with feeling traumatized, scattered, and overwhelmed. When we think about our mental health, we are often in a hurry to try to fix a condition, but the core issue is often deeper. We have spent most of our lives abandoning ourselves to keep connected. We were meeting others' expectations and not speaking up for our own wants and needs. If we’re honest with ourselves as we look back, we notice that we have spent most of our lives performing and playing roles and have become out of touch with our own true selves. When we don’t have a good relationship with ourselves and our worth, it can lead to depression, co-dependency, and anxiety because we have lost the true understanding of who we are. So today, we are going to explore what it would look like not to run to change or fix mental health symptoms but instead get to one of the core issues of mental health, and that is our sense of worth, and we have three helpful key points.

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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As we say goodbye to our co-host Kimberley Mitchell, worth is a very appropriate topic. Where we find our worth is a search we’ve been on since we were little children. The older we get, the more layers we seem to pile on the core of who we are. Those layers might look like achievements, or they might look like failures, a job that we’re doing, what we’re known for… All of those things contribute to who we are, but it’s easy to allow those things to create our sense of worth and identity. For those of us who have been around the church for so long, much of what we have learned is about performing. When part of who you are is being known for being a co-host on a podcast, stepping away can affect a sense of worth. So today, Kim speaks candidly about how stepping away from a sense of contributing or playing a public role can play into our sense of worth. And she reflects on the early days of being a solo mom, and we explore the quest we have been on since childhood, where we find our worth.

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

Ask us any question and hear yourself on a future podcast. Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to [email protected]

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The heart-wrenching whirlwind of divorce or the trauma of losing a spouse to death can leave us completely depleted of our identity. Trying to navigate the chaotic and exhausting world of juggling all the demands of raising our kids on our own can leave us at a loss of who we are. Not recognizing who we were, who we are now, and who we are supposed to become can seem elusive while we’re just struggling to get by. So as a part of self-care, how can we begin to reclaim our identity, to discover confidence in who we are and how we fit in this new reality? In this episode, we are going to explore this. ?

Our guest this week is Dr. Dan Allender. For over 30 years, the Allender Theory has brought healing and transformation to hundreds of thousands of lives by bridging the story of the gospel and the stories of trauma and abuse that mark so many. He founded The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, and The Allender Center and is a best selling author of 9 books. He has counseled and led millions of people towards caring for themselves.

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Raising our kids on our own is so difficult. With limited resources and time, we can go crazy trying to meet all their needs and keep our kids happy and healthy. So often, we can fall into the trap of overcompensating; because our kids have been through difficult things, we try to make their happiness our top priority. Unfortunately, doing this creates a bottomless well that we can never fill up, leaving us depleted… and not healthy for our kids. So how do we draw appropriate boundaries with our kids that are not only a form of caring for ourselves but also serve their development?

Our guest today is an Instagram sensation with over 780,000 followers, Dr. Siggie. She is a counselor who has been working with families for 30 years.

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Many of us can feel guilty because we're not sticking to a Bible reading or prayer time in the morning like we used to. When we think about spiritual discipline in our lives, we often go to shame, like we are not a good Christian because we had difficulty having quiet time every morning. Well, this episode isn’t about shame; in fact, today, we’re not going to talk about comparing our quiet time as a measure of what a good Christian we are or if God is happy with the time we are putting in. We are going to explore perhaps a new way of approaching spiritual discipline. What if spiritual discipline goes beyond the intellectual exercise of reading and praying, as many of us have been taught? What if our spiritual discipline wasn’t about fulfilling what God or the Church’s expectation of us are, but was actually a deep soul self-care?

Our guest is Anthony Skinner, a Spiritual Director, Prayer, Meditation, Enneagram practitioner, Music and Podcast Producer, award-winning Songwriter, Recording Artist, and Worship Leader, and cohost of the popular Typology Podcast (over 20 million downloads). He is also the guy behind a devotional and meditation program called “Shamah Way”, which is so appropriate for this topic of spiritual discipline as self care. 

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

Shamah way - shamahway.com

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Like we said last week, Self-care is a common buzzword that every single parent has heard. But what does that really mean, and where do we start with it? It seems the cultural narratives are way off base. What the world tells us about self-care is more about self-indulging ourselves because we deserve it, or self-sufficiency. The idea of treating yourself to a spa day, or something nice isn’t wrong in and of itself… but there’s more to self-care than is being advertised. Last week we explored what self-care looks like for us internally - in other words…what we can do for ourselves - things that we have control over 

Today we will focus on the other side of redefining self-care - External self-care, which is what we can do or where we can go outside of ourselves, in other words, external interaction that feeds our soul. 

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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Solo Parent Society is brought to you in part by Talk About. Use Promo Code SOLOPARENT to get 1 month free at TalkAboutDiscipleship.com.

Self-care is a common buzzword that every single parent has heard. We know we need to take care of ourselves so that we have something to give to our kids. Self-care is essential, but as advertised on social media and TV all around us, self-care seems to be more about treating ourselves to special things. It can seem more like numbing or a Band-Aid so that we can ignore our struggles.

But here’s the thing, cultural narratives are way off base. What the world tells us about self-care is more about self-indulging because we deserve it or self-sufficiency. The idea of treating yourself to a spa day, or getting a manicure and pedicure, or even shopping is not necessarily wrong in and of itself… but there’s more to self-care that is being advertised. So for the next two weeks, we’ll do our best to redefine what self-care might look like, breaking it into two sections. In this episode, we explore internal self-care, and next week will dive into external self-care. 

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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Solo Parent Society is brought to you in part by Talk About. Use Promo Code SOLOPARENT to get 1 month free at TalkAboutDiscipleship.com.