The Nature Boy himself swings by the kitchen to chat with Sam Morril and Bert about the good ol’ wrestling days. He opens up about his son, his women, and his FLAIR. They’ll laugh, they’ll cry… and they’ll eat French Onion – inspired chicken with a side of Bodega Cat whiskey. Plus, he’s promo’ing the hell out of Sam’s new special. You should check it out, too.

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On this blast from the past episode, Whitney Cummings and Michael Rapaport stop by for homemade pizza. I also get a lesson on why washing hands is important AND how to spell Michael’s name correctly. And Whitney’s reminding everyone that strong women STILL belong in the kitchen.

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Platter Pizza

Ingredients:

4 Cups Italian tipo “00” flour or bread flour

2 tsps. kosher salt

1 tsp active dry yeast

1 ½ cups water

Cooking spray

1 can whole peeled Italian tomatoes

4 tbs olive oil

Toppings:

Roasted Garlic

Green Peppers

Pepperoni

Onions

Basil Leaves

Black Olives

Green Olives

Red Peppers

Fennel

Buffalo Mozzarella

Dough Steps:

1. Combine flour, salt, and yeast

2. Add water to mix then knead dough

3. Cover bowl tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 8 hours

4. Divide dough into 4 sections into oil covered bowls, let sit at room temperature for 2 hours to rise

Sauce Steps:

1. Pulse tomatoes through food processor

Assemble Pizzas:

1. Stretch out dough ball on floured surface

2. Spread sauce, basil leaves, and olive oil onto dough

3. Add Toppings

4. Bake at 475 degrees for 5-7 minutes

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Real Bros Jimmy Tatro and Christian Pierce stop by the kitchen for a deep dive on their new movie, the top five coolest actors, and if they could see themselves getting caught up with the Capitol stormers. I am also making a polenta board with three different toppings AND we’re sampling Por Osos, like good friends, and bros, would.

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POLENTA PARTY

Ingredients:

1 package ground corn meal

12 cups Water

Butter

Grated parmesan

½ cup Mascarpone cheese

4 Large peppers

2 white onions

olive oil

4 italian sausages

chili flakes

2 lbs fresh mushrooms

1 tbsp soy sauce

Garlic

½ cup chardonnay

1 tbsp dry thyme

2 cups fresh basil

½ cup pine nuts

Polenta Steps:

1. Bring water to boil and add corn meal. Let simmer for 30-40 minutes

2. Remove from heat and add 1 cup grated parmesan and mascarpone and ¼ cup butter

TOPPINGS:

Spicy sausage and peppers Steps:

1. Cut sausages and cook in pan

2. Cook onions until clear then add peppers to pan

3. Add sausage back to pan and cook altogether for another 3 minutes

Mushrooms in White Wine Sauce

1. Cook 2 cloves of garlic in 1 tbsp butter and 1 tbsp olive oil

2. Add mushrooms to pan. Once cooked halfway, add soy sauce, thyme, and wine cooking until it is all absorbed.

Basil Pesto Sauce

1. Toast pine nuts

2. In a food processor, add toasted pine nuts, basil, ½ cup oil, 3 garlic cloves, and ½ cup parmesan until combined

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Heather McDonald and Jo Koy stop by the kitchen – and I’m mashin’ up their names for inspiration. Meet the McKoy. There’s nothing like sushi burgers and sake bombs to help carry the conversation. And it only took me until the end to realize… sushi is Japanese – and Jo is Filipino. Oops.

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McKoy/Bert Sushi Burgers

Ingredients:

1 tbsp bakers sugar

1 tbsp rice wine vinegar

1 tbsp mirin

Pickled cucumber

Kewpie mayo

Sriracha

Tuna

Wasabi Paste

Salmon

Avocado

Sticky Rice

1. Combine bakers sugar, rice wine vinegar, and mirin in a bowl

2. Mix into cooked white rice

Special Sauce for burgers:

1. Mix to taste: Kewpie mayo, sriracha, chopped pickled cucumber

McKoy/Bert Sushi Burger

1. Chop tuna into fine pieces and mix with wasabi paste and mayo, then form into patties

2. Chop salmon into fine pieces and form 3 patties

3. Mold sticky rice into patties, fry, and top with sesame seeds

4. Assemble the burgers and add a layer of avocado

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All four members of Papa Roach swing by the kitchen to reminisce about when we were in Australia together… and I make ‘em a meal to help bring back the memories of Down Under. We chat about touring with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, getting sober, bus-life, and of course – music. Plus, I get a private, impromptu concert like no-one’s ever heard.

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MEAT PIE AND OYSTERS KILPATRICK

Oysters Kilpatrick:

Ingredients:

1 TBS Worcestershire Sauce

¼ Balsamic Vinegar

2 TBS unsalted butter

1-2 Dashes Tabasco Sauce

2 Slices Bacon

12 shucked Oysters

Steps:

1. Heat and combine Worcestershire sauce, vinegar, butter and tobacco

2. Cook Bacon slices

3. Set oysters in pan, top with sauce and bacon, broil for 1 minute

Meat Pie:

Ingredients:

1 medium onion

1.5 LBS ground beef

1 1/4c water

2 ½ tsp superior touch better than bouillon beef base

1/3 c ketchup

1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce

1 tsp oregano

¼ tsp garlic powder

¼ c flour

¼ c water

1 sheet Pillsbury pie sheet

1 sheet puff pastry

1 egg

Steps:

1. Cook and combine onion and meat

2. Dissolve bouillon in 1 cup water, add ketchup, sauce and seasonings and bring to boil. Simmer for 15 minutes. Add in flour and bring to boil once again.

3. Spoon meat and sauce into pie sheet

4. Top with puff pastry and bake at 375 for 35-40 minutes

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Inside sources from the Comedy Store, Rick Ingraham and Eleanor Kerrigan, are spillin’ secrets about their time working there – and plenty of names are being dropped (think – Ari Shaffir). And, while I fry up some Mac and Cheese Balls and cook corn dogs, we also talk about fist fights, losing our virginity, and what era of time made the best meals…

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Recipe: Deep-Fried Mac and Cheese Balls with Waffle Iron Corn Dogs

Mac and Cheese Balls:

Ingredients:

4 TBS butter

2 TBS flour

2 Cups Milk

1.5 LBS shredded cheddar cheese

1 TSP Frank’s Red Hot

½ TSP mustard powder

¼ garlic powder

2 eggs

Panko

Steps:

1. Cook macaroni

2. Combine cooked mac with 2 TBS butter

3. Heat 2 TBS butter with flour then add milk

4. Add cheese into sauce mixture

5. Add hot sauce, mustard powder and garlic powder to sauce

6. Add noodles into sauce

7. Dredge noodle balls into beaten eggs, then into panko

8. Deep Fry mac and cheese balls

Waffle Iron Corn Dogs:

Ingredients:

Corn muffin mix

1 egg

½ cup sour cream

½ cheddar cheese

2 TBS chives

Hot Dogs

Steps:

1. Combine corn muffin mix, egg, sour cream, mix well, then add cheese and chives

2. Cut hot dogs

3. Pour batter into waffle iron, place hot dogs into batter, then add more batter

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Sean Evans of Hot Ones and Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias pop over to my kitchen for a very “on topic” meal of Fluffy Japanese Pancakes and Nashville Hot Chicken Fried Steak. We talk about how we spent our first “big” paycheck, the fact that I was Hot One’s first celebrity guest… and Fluffy’s record-breaking show at Dodgers Stadium. Plus Fluffy’s got a surprise for me that I absolutely didn’t see coming.

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Nashville Hot Chicken Fried Steak w/ Japanese Fluffy Cakes

Japanese Fluffy Cakes

Ingredients:

* 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour

* 3 TBS granulated sugar

* 2 TSP baking powder

* ¼ TSP baking soda

* ¾ TSP kosher salt

* 1 1/4cups buttermilk at room temperature

* 4 TBS butter melted

* 1 TSP vanilla extract

* 2 egg yolks

* 4 egg whites

* ¼ TSP cream of tartar

* Cooking spray

* 3” x 2.5” wide ring molds

Steps:

1. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt

2. Whisk buttermilk, butter, vanilla, and egg yolk

3. Beat egg whites and cream of tartar until stiff peaks form

4. Stir the buttermilk mixture into the flour mixture until partially combined

5. Stir the egg whites into the batter until combined

6. Spoon batter into molds, cover with a lid and cook until the batter rises to the top and the bottom of the pancake is golden, about 5-8 minutes

Nashville Hot Chicken Fried Steak

Ingredients:

* 2 cube steaks

* 3 tbsp olive oil

* 1 tbsp butter

* 3/4 cup flour

* 1/4 cup cornstarch

* 2 tbsp cayenne

* 1 tbsp berbere

* 1 tbsp dark brown sugar

* 1/2 tsp garlic powder

* 1/2 tsp smoked paprika

* 1/2 tsp black pepper

* 1 egg

* 1/4 cup water

* 1 tsp hot sauce

Steps:

1. Combine dry ingredients

2. Mix egg, water and hot sauce together

3. Melt butter and oil in skillet

4. Season steak then dredge in flour mixture and shake off any extra

5. Dip steak into egg wash then back to flour mixture

6. Cook steak about 4 minutes per side

Hot Honey

Ingredients:

* 1 cup honey

* 2/3 cup water

* 3 dried or fresh chiles of your choice (jalapeno, Thai, chile de arbol, or guajillo chiles all work well)

Steps:

1. Combine all ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a boil

2. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally

3. Pour the honey syrup through strainer

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On this blast from the past, Bonnie McFarlane and Gary Gulman come by the kitchen for some dolmas, falafel, and far too much laughing. We hit on everything from the size of our balls to Ralphie May and Rachael Ray. And things don’t turn out so good…

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DOLMAS and FALAFEL

Dolmas

* Grape leaves

* Rice

* Olive Oil

* Diced Onion

* Pine Nuts

* Dried Currants

* Allspice

* Chopped mint

* Chopped parsley

* Water

* Sugar

* Fresh lemon juice

1. Mix olive oil, sugar and lemon to make the sauce; set aside.

2. Cook rice according to directions

3. Mix rice, mint, parsley, and allspice until well combined

4. Rinse grape leave; pat dry

5. Place leaf on cutting board; add a heaping tablespoon of rice mixture.

6. Fold the bottom of the lead over the mixture; bring the sides inwards and roll tightly to form a cigar shape.

7. Place seam side down in a skillet lined with grape leaves

8. Pour water and lemon/sugar sauce over the dolmas

9. Weight it down with a plate; cover and cook for about 20 min.

Falafel

* Dried chickpeas; soaked overnight and drained

* Chopped onion

* Chopped jalapeno

* Crushed garlic clove

* Chopped cilantro

* Chopped parsley

* Almond flour

* Kosher salt

* Baking powder

* Ground cardamom

* Ground cumin

* Veggie oil for frying.

1. Pulse chickpeas in a food processor for about a minute; transfer to large bowl

2. Pulse onion, jalapeno, garlic, cilantro, and parsley for about a minute; combine with chickpeas

3. Add almond flour, salt, baking powder, cardamom, and cumin

4. Mix well; form into ping-pong sized balls

5. Heat veggie oil in a large heavy pot

6. Drop falafel balls into oil, turning occasionally until they become deep brown and crispy (about 5 min)

7. Transfer to a papertowel to drain

8. Serve with tahini sauce and a pita.

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Sarah Silverman and Todd Glass stop by the kitchen for some meat prints and tofu nuggets. We talk Todd’s OCD, Sarah’s experience watching porn, and how great a person Mister Rogers was. I make a new take on chicken and waffles, Todd treats us to Pop-Tart ice cream sandwiches… and I’m serenaded at the end. All in all, a pretty great day.

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FALAFEL WAFFLES W/ TOFU FINGERS

Falafel Waffles

* Falafel mix

* Beaten egg

* Olive oil

* Water

1. In a large bowl, combine falafel mix, ¼ olive oil and one beaten egg along with water as falafel mix directs.

2. Stir to combine; let sit for 15 min.

3. Spray waffle maker with cooking spray

4. Add heaping tablespoons of batter to waffle maker; close and cook according to waffle maker’s directions.

Tomato / Cucumber / Feta Salad

* Red onion; thinly sliced

* Fresh cilantro leaves

* Fresh parsley leaves

* Lemon juice

* Red wine vinegar

* English cucumber

* Cherry tomatoes

* Feta cheese

* Olive oil

1. In a food processor, pulse cilantro, parlsey, lemon juice, red wine vinegar, and a dash of black pepper.

2. With the machine running, add ¼ cup olive oil.

3. Transfer to a large bowl with sliced cherry tomatoes, thinly sliced red onion, feta, and cucumbers.

4. Toss to coat veggies; set aside.

Crispy Tofu Fingers

* Extra-firm tofu

* Veggie broth

* Nutritional yeast flakes

* Soy Sauce

* Ground cumin

* Onion powder

* Garlic powder

* Milk

* White vinegar

* AP Flour

* Flaxseed

* Salt

* Cornstarch

* Paprika

* Canola oil

1. Press tofu to drain out water

2. Combine veggie broth, nutritional yeast, soy sauce, cumin, onion powder, and garlic powder to make marinade; mix well

3. Pour marinade over cut / cubed tofu; let sit for 30 min

4. Whisk together milk, white vinegar, AP flour, flaxseed, and salt to make batter.

5. Combine AP flour, cornstarch, paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, and salt for the breading.

6. Pour canola oil into skillet and set over medium heat.

7. Take tofu out of the marinade and roll into breading mixture.

8. Remove and transfer to the batter; roll to coat.

9. Remove and place back into breading mixture; roll to cover.

10. Place tofu into hot oil and fry about 4 min, until golden and crispy.

Tzatziki Sauce

* Grated cucumber

* Whole milk Greek yogurt

* Lemon Juice

* EVOO

* Grated garlic

* Sea salt

* Chopped dill and mint

1. Gently squeeze moisture from grated cucumbers

2. Combine all ingredients; chill for service.

To Plate

1. Dish out cucumber salad onto bottom of plate

2. Top with falafel waffle, then tofu fingers

3. Drizzle tzatziki sauce over.

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Bert, Kyle Kinane, and Matt Braunger are ringin’ in Halloween six months early. Or late. There’s a pretty scary maple syrup / cider drink and a deviled eggs even Dracula himself would appreciate. Plus, they’re talkin’ a little about the Chicago comedy scene and a LOT about porn.

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Bourbon Maple Cider Cocktails and Deep-Fried DEVILED Eggs

Bourbon Maple Cider Cocktails

* Bourbon

* Applejack

* Maple Syrup

* Angostura bitters

1. Fill cocktail shaker with ice, 4 ounces bourbon, 4 ounces applejack, 2 ounces maple syrup, and 1dash Angostura bitters.

2. Strain into ice-filled cocktail glasses, then top each glass with cider.

Deep-Fried Deviled Eggs

* Hard Boiled Eggs

* Flour

* Beaten egg wash

* Panko Breadcrumbs

* Mayonnaise

* Salt

* Pepper

* Ritz crackers

1. Fill a pot with 2” oil; preheat to 350° F.

2. Hard-boil eggs; shock in ice water and peel.

3. Scoop egg yolks out and place into a mixing bowl; set whites aside.

4. Add 2 tablespoons mayonnaise, 1.5 tablespoons relish and 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard to yolks; lightly season with salt and pepper.

5. Dredge egg whites in flour, then into egg wash

6. Coat egg whites in breadcrumb mixture

7. Drop into hot oil and fry 2-3 min or until golden brown

8. Remove from oil; set aside on paper towel to cool / drain

9. Scoop yolk mixture into bowl of the egg

10. Garnish with your choice of hot sauce, dill, paprika (or all!)

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